Psycho-Babble Relationships Thread 547661

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Re: VIBRATORS » Tamar

Posted by fairywings on October 10, 2005, at 8:56:47

In reply to Re: VIBRATORS, posted by Tamar on October 10, 2005, at 6:22:51

> I didn’t have any sex toys at all until a few months ago when several of my friends gave me toys for Christmas.

I like your friends! ; ) My husband got me mine in July when he was going out of town! ; ) B4 that I never had a toy either. I would never have thought I'd like it, but I do, it's just different.

>
> As for having sex with it… Er… (getting embarrassed here)… It was only after being given all these sex toys that I discovered that the G-spot thing isn’t the myth I’d previously thought it was. So that was interesting…

Me too! ; ) The vibrator just "gets it" better! There's also an F spot, right below the cervix, on the same side as the G-spot.
>
> I’ve said enough! I’m going away to hide my blushing face now…
>
It is embarrassing sometimes, but you know, it's really no different than a great massage, or a great meal, except that those are socially acceptable. Oh well.

fw

 

Re: VIBRATORS

Posted by alexandra_k on October 10, 2005, at 20:32:44

In reply to Re: VIBRATORS » Tamar, posted by fairywings on October 10, 2005, at 8:56:47

> > As for having sex with it… Er… (getting embarrassed here)… It was only after being given all these sex toys that I discovered that the G-spot thing isn’t the myth I’d previously thought it was. So that was interesting…

> Me too! ; ) The vibrator just "gets it" better! There's also an F spot, right below the cervix, on the same side as the G-spot.

hmm. so they don't come with instruction manuels then ;-)

i'm getting confused about the number of spots...

i've heard of three and i've found two...

> It is embarrassing sometimes, but you know, it's really no different than a great massage, or a great meal, except that those are socially acceptable. Oh well.

yeah. lol. i guess thats true enough!

 

Re: VIBRATORS » alexandra_k

Posted by fairywings on October 10, 2005, at 22:13:26

In reply to Re: VIBRATORS, posted by alexandra_k on October 10, 2005, at 20:32:44

> hmm. so they don't come with instruction manuels then ;-)

I don't think so, but there are books out there. ; )

>
> i'm getting confused about the number of spots...
>
> i've heard of three and i've found two...

Think about anywhere as an erogenous zone, and you might find more, who knows. You found two?, good for you! ; ) One more than I found w/o my toy!

fw

 

Re: VIBRATORS » alexandra_k

Posted by Susan47 on October 12, 2005, at 22:36:50

In reply to Re: VIBRATORS » Susan47, posted by alexandra_k on October 9, 2005, at 21:48:23

But I'm right-handed and the left just doesn't get it, it's like try to write with the left hand, I can't do it, only this isn't writing it's a heck of a lot more frustrating. But the one thing I really don't like is after a short while, I go numb. Anybody else have that problem? What'm I doing wrong???
Oh, dear. Embarrassing. Come on, somebody give some constructive advice, please?

 

Re: VIBRATORS

Posted by Susan47 on October 12, 2005, at 22:38:27

In reply to Re: VIBRATORS, posted by Tamar on October 10, 2005, at 6:22:51

What did you use to find your G-spot, then? I found mine with my own fingers, I wouldn't want to put anything else in there, I tried and it isn't nice. Unless they were His fingers ... ;0

 

Re: VIBRATORS » fairywings

Posted by Susan47 on October 12, 2005, at 22:41:02

In reply to Re: VIBRATORS » Tamar, posted by fairywings on October 10, 2005, at 8:56:47

This is also acceptable in the right context, and I don't think we are out of line in discussing this issue. We're allowed. We're not doing anything bad, we're not hurting anybody, and we're simply sharing good information that is helpful. Do you have an electric vibrator? Because my battery-powered one makes so much darn noise I feel like the whole neighbourhood can hear it. Sigh.

 

Re: VIBRATORS

Posted by Susan47 on October 12, 2005, at 22:42:46

In reply to Re: VIBRATORS, posted by alexandra_k on October 10, 2005, at 20:32:44

I've never heard of the F-spot. I haven't played with the G-spot for a while either. Lately it's like all I want to do is release some tension. Isn't that supposed to be more of a male trait? Do you guys ever just do it to release tension, like, the faster you get off the better?
Oh, dear.

 

Re: VIBRATORS

Posted by fairywings on October 12, 2005, at 22:48:17

In reply to Re: VIBRATORS » alexandra_k, posted by Susan47 on October 12, 2005, at 22:36:50

> But I'm right-handed and the left just doesn't get it, it's like try to write with the left hand, I can't do it

I agree Susan, I can't use my L hand for this either. ; )

>>But the one thing I really don't like is after a short while, I go numb.

I think that's a legitimate question, worthy of some advice. I would guess you're long in the torso, so it's a reach, which puts a strain on your arm/hand? That's my guess at what's causing the numbness. Maybe try some different positions, to try to take the stress off of the arm? That's the best I"ve got, I think.

fw

 

Re: VIBRATORS **triggers**

Posted by fairywings on October 12, 2005, at 22:59:02

In reply to Re: VIBRATORS » fairywings, posted by Susan47 on October 12, 2005, at 22:41:02

> This is also acceptable in the right context, and I don't think we are out of line in discussing this issue. We're allowed. We're not doing anything bad, we're not hurting anybody, and we're simply sharing good information that is helpful.

**Put the triggers in there, just in case**

I agree, and I think women NEED to talk to other women about this kind of stuff. Sexuality is perfectly natural, satisfying our own urges has really gotten a bad wrap and that's a shame. If some women are comfortable talking about it, then more power to us, we should support eachother; knowing that others won't be comfortable with it, and that's okay too. I've come a long way since I was raped when I was 14. I didn't like sex or anything that had to do with sexuality. Now it's just such a part of me, a part that I love, and am comfortable with. Of course, I don't go announcing it to the neighbors or anything, but talking about it to others of like mind is good.


Do you have an electric vibrator? Because my battery-powered one makes so much darn noise I feel like the whole neighbourhood can hear it. Sigh.

No, mine is battery operated. I know about the noise issue. On www.goodvibrations.com they have them rated by noise level and strength. Mine has a good strength, and is on the quieter side. If I turn on a CD at a low level no one can hear the vibrator.

You said you were getting a new one, right? Maybe consider checking out the noise level before you buy.
Good luck!
fw

 

Re: VIBRATORS » Susan47

Posted by fairywings on October 12, 2005, at 23:07:16

In reply to Re: VIBRATORS, posted by Susan47 on October 12, 2005, at 22:42:46

> I've never heard of the F-spot. I haven't played with the G-spot for a while either. Lately it's like all I want to do is release some tension. Isn't that supposed to be more of a male trait? Do you guys ever just do it to release tension, like, the faster you get off the better?
> Oh, dear.


LOL, I think it's just that everyone's always KNEW that guys do it, and it's expected! I think women do it, and just don't talk about it, and won't admit it. Of course, some of us have a higher sex drive, and need more "attention", and some women have a lower sex drive, and don't want to be bothered with the real thing, let alone self stimulation. I think it just has to do with our hormone levels, and, like you said anxiety level - mine's high too, and I blow off steam this way too. Better than road rage! LOL
I guess some ppl wouldn't consider it to be very feminine, but neither is being b*tchy because you're h*rny as all get out and have no release! Don't worry about it - guys scratch their b*lls and belch at will; we just try to be more "socially acceptable" about what comes naturally! ; )

fw

 

Re: VIBRATORS » Susan47

Posted by Tamar on October 13, 2005, at 5:31:51

In reply to Re: VIBRATORS » alexandra_k, posted by Susan47 on October 12, 2005, at 22:36:50

> But I'm right-handed and the left just doesn't get it, it's like try to write with the left hand, I can't do it, only this isn't writing it's a heck of a lot more frustrating. But the one thing I really don't like is after a short while, I go numb. Anybody else have that problem? What'm I doing wrong???

Is the numbness in your hand/arm, or elsewhere?

If it’s your hand or your arm, perhaps you might try varying your speed or stroke. Going slower might help. Also alternating hands… I think most people can learn to do it left-handed, but often it requires a different technique. For example, perhaps try going much slower but keep the rhythm as steady as possible.

If you find your genitals go numb you might try using plenty of lube. Actually, that might work for numbness in the hand as well.

Not that I’m an expert or anything…

Tamar

 

Re: VIBRATORS » Susan47

Posted by Tamar on October 13, 2005, at 5:43:57

In reply to Re: VIBRATORS, posted by Susan47 on October 12, 2005, at 22:38:27

> What did you use to find your G-spot, then?

Just a fairly average vibrator. No bunny ears or anything. It’s kind of … how can I put this… not too hard; it’s squeezeable. I’m sure there’s a proper term for it. Anyway, apparently it’s supposed to feel a bit more like a real penis.

> I found mine with my own fingers, I wouldn't want to put anything else in there, I tried and it isn't nice.

I still haven’t found it with my fingers, and I know where to look now! Maybe my fingers are too short...

> Unless they were His fingers ... ;0

Yes indeed…


 

Re: VIBRATORS » Tamar

Posted by fairywings on October 13, 2005, at 6:50:26

In reply to Re: VIBRATORS » Susan47, posted by Tamar on October 13, 2005, at 5:31:51


> If you find your genitals go numb you might try using plenty of lube. Actually, that might work for numbness in the hand as well.

I'd never used lube b4, and it's so awesome, a whole different feel. We use Liquid Silk, which I/we love. It's good for using on your man too, makes things nice and slippery! ; )

>
> Not that I’m an expert or anything…

LOL Oh yeah right, quit being so modest.

We should all collaborate on a book! ; ) Make some money off of our boldness.
fw

 

Re: VIBRATORS **graphic** » Tamar

Posted by fairywings on October 13, 2005, at 8:27:58

In reply to Re: VIBRATORS » Susan47, posted by Tamar on October 13, 2005, at 5:43:57

> > What did you use to find your G-spot, then?
>
>
> I still haven’t found it with my fingers, and I know where to look now! Maybe my fingers are too short...


I think most ppl think it's down farther than it is, once you get inside the vagina (sorry) just hook your finger around a bit, just below the urethra, and it's a rougher area that's kind of round, and gets swollen when you're excited. I don't get too much of a thrill just stimulating that, but once an O starts, the stimulation between the clitoris and G-spot is good. That's the real beauty of "getting to know yourself", don't you think? You get to know your own hot spots and what works best.

Sorry to be so graphic, hope I didn't offend anyone.
fw

 

Re: VIBRATORS

Posted by caraher on October 13, 2005, at 11:29:13

In reply to Re: VIBRATORS » Susan47, posted by fairywings on October 12, 2005, at 23:07:16

> > I've never heard of the F-spot. I haven't played with the G-spot for a while either. Lately it's like all I want to do is release some tension. Isn't that supposed to be more of a male trait? Do you guys ever just do it to release tension, like, the faster you get off the better?

Hmmm... there has to be a LOT of tension! ;) Most of the time I'd say no... though sometimes if I can't sleep I do become sleepy afterward, so I guess maybe that is about tension. But I guess I don't feel that need for speed you refer to.

> LOL, I think it's just that everyone's always KNEW that guys do it, and it's expected! I think women do it, and just don't talk about it, and won't admit it.
...
> I guess some ppl wouldn't consider it to be very feminine, but neither is being b*tchy because you're h*rny as all get out and have no release!

Well, not that most of us guys spend a lot of time talking about it, either. I think one huge difference is that, whether for cultural or biological reasons, women typically take longer to learn to do it. So for us guys it's not such a big deal, you're on a hair trigger as an adolescent and there are few apparent mysteries (except for the opposite sex).

There is still something of a stigma to it for men in that if it is your *sole* source of release you're "less of a man" somehow. "Here I am, doing this again - what a loser!"

As for "femininity," I suppose under some ideas about what is and is not "feminine" it may not be. But - and I'm sure I'm not alone in this - I think a woman seeking pleasure is more feminine in a natural sense of the word than a woman who suppresses that side of herself. It's beyond me how any man would prefer a "cold fish" to a woman who masturbates...

 

Re: VIBRATORS **graphic** » fairywings

Posted by Tamar on October 13, 2005, at 15:25:25

In reply to Re: VIBRATORS **graphic** » Tamar, posted by fairywings on October 13, 2005, at 8:27:58

> I think most ppl think it's down farther than it is, once you get inside the vagina (sorry) just hook your finger around a bit, just below the urethra, and it's a rougher area that's kind of round, and gets swollen when you're excited. I don't get too much of a thrill just stimulating that, but once an O starts, the stimulation between the clitoris and G-spot is good. That's the real beauty of "getting to know yourself", don't you think? You get to know your own hot spots and what works best.

Thanks for the info! Perhaps I’ll give it a try… (blush blush)

Tamar


 

Re: Be sure to let us know how it goes! ; ) ; ) (nm) » Tamar

Posted by fairywings on October 13, 2005, at 15:38:54

In reply to Re: VIBRATORS **graphic** » fairywings, posted by Tamar on October 13, 2005, at 15:25:25

 

Re: VIBRATORS » caraher

Posted by Tamar on October 13, 2005, at 15:40:28

In reply to Re: VIBRATORS, posted by caraher on October 13, 2005, at 11:29:13

> Hmmm... there has to be a LOT of tension! ;) Most of the time I'd say no... though sometimes if I can't sleep I do become sleepy afterward, so I guess maybe that is about tension. But I guess I don't feel that need for speed you refer to.

It’s good to get a man’s input on this stuff…

> Well, not that most of us guys spend a lot of time talking about it, either. I think one huge difference is that, whether for cultural or biological reasons, women typically take longer to learn to do it. So for us guys it's not such a big deal, you're on a hair trigger as an adolescent and there are few apparent mysteries (except for the opposite sex).

I used to talk about it to my male friends when I was a teenager, before I had any idea of how to do it myself. I was very curious about how guys do it. It turned out there were a lot of different methods!

> There is still something of a stigma to it for men in that if it is your *sole* source of release you're "less of a man" somehow. "Here I am, doing this again - what a loser!"

I think the same is probably true for women, at least to some extent.

> As for "femininity," I suppose under some ideas about what is and is not "feminine" it may not be. But - and I'm sure I'm not alone in this - I think a woman seeking pleasure is more feminine in a natural sense of the word than a woman who suppresses that side of herself. It's beyond me how any man would prefer a "cold fish" to a woman who masturbates...

Nicely put! Yeah, I agree. And apparently many women don’t like the idea of their partner masturbating. They seem to think if a man’s getting sex with a woman he shouldn’t be having sex by himself as well. But I think the idea of a man who finds pleasure in his own body is much more appealing than a man who never explores his sexuality except with a partner…

 

Re: VIBRATORS

Posted by fairywings on October 13, 2005, at 15:53:38

In reply to Re: VIBRATORS, posted by caraher on October 13, 2005, at 11:29:13

>
> Hmmm... there has to be a LOT of tension! ;) Most of the time I'd say no... though sometimes if I can't sleep I do become sleepy afterward, so I guess maybe that is about tension. But I guess I don't feel that need for speed you refer to.

Oh caraher, I love it when you jump in on these things! You're so funny, and honest too, that's good. It's just not fair that men can't be multi-orgasmic. Well I guess they CAN with some work, but I guess it's not the "norm" is it?

>
> Well, not that most of us guys spend a lot of time talking about it, either. I think one huge difference is that, whether for cultural or biological reasons, women typically take longer to learn to do it.

I think some of that is the stigma, and some of that is that a woman's body is more complicated. I mean with a guy, it's just kind of there! With a woman, you have to explore different areas to find what feels best where.

>
> There is still something of a stigma to it for men in that if it is your *sole* source of release you're "less of a man" somehow. "Here I am, doing this again - what a loser!"

Oh see, I think that's what we all need to get over. Quit beating ourselves UP about it. It's not like we say, "here I am cooking this dinner (or insert anything else we do regularly that's acceptable) again, what a loser!"

>
> As for "femininity," I suppose under some ideas about what is and is not "feminine" it may not be. But - and I'm sure I'm not alone in this - I think a woman seeking pleasure is more feminine in a natural sense

Yeah, I guess you're right, and from what I understand men think it's a turn on. Not that I'd want to do that, because I'm too inhibited, but ............

fw

 

Re: VIBRATORS

Posted by Susan47 on October 13, 2005, at 21:44:27

In reply to Re: VIBRATORS, posted by fairywings on October 12, 2005, at 22:48:17

Oops, nope, I was talking about the Vibrator, CW, making me numb. Hahahahahaha, CW, I like that.

 

Re: VIBRATORS **triggers** » fairywings

Posted by Susan47 on October 13, 2005, at 21:48:49

In reply to Re: VIBRATORS **triggers**, posted by fairywings on October 12, 2005, at 22:59:02

> > This is also acceptable in the right context, and I don't think we are out of line in discussing this issue. We're allowed. We're not doing anything bad, we're not hurting anybody, and we're simply sharing good information that is helpful.
>
> **Put the triggers in there, just in case**
>
> I agree, and I think women NEED to talk to other women about this kind of stuff. Sexuality is perfectly natural, satisfying our own urges has really gotten a bad wrap and that's a shame. If some women are comfortable talking about it, then more power to us, we should support eachother; knowing that others won't be comfortable with it, and that's okay too. I've come a long way since I was raped when I was 14. I didn't like sex or anything that had to do with sexuality. Now it's just such a part of me, a part that I love, and am comfortable with. Of course, I don't go announcing it to the neighbors or anything, but talking about it to others of like mind is good.

I was raped, as well. I was 18, and right now for some reaSon I can only think of the one time, but I know there were two. Maybe I just don't want to remember. Yeah, I felt like I was supposed to enjoy sex, and for a while I did, but something happened and I ended up letting myself be used.
>
> Do you have an electric vibrator? Because my battery-powered one makes so much darn noise I feel like the whole neighbourhood can hear it. Sigh.
>
> No, mine is battery operated. I know about the noise issue. On www.goodvibrations.com they have them rated by noise level and strength. Mine has a good strength, and is on the quieter side. If I turn on a CD at a low level no one can hear the vibrator.
>
> You said you were getting a new one, right? Maybe consider checking out the noise level before you buy.
> Good luck!

Yes, I think my next one will be electric though, no more battery-powered babies for me, one's enough and I'll just keep CW until he wears down.
>
>

 

Re: VIBRATORS » fairywings

Posted by Susan47 on October 13, 2005, at 21:51:15

In reply to Re: VIBRATORS » Susan47, posted by fairywings on October 12, 2005, at 23:07:16

Thank you for sharing that, Fairywings. I used to think I was really masculine for that, for wanting the release. I guess I don't like that part of me. It helps to know that others do it as well, for tension.

 

Re: VIBRATORS » Tamar

Posted by Susan47 on October 13, 2005, at 21:53:11

In reply to Re: VIBRATORS » Susan47, posted by Tamar on October 13, 2005, at 5:31:51

If I have to go to all that trouble, I don't bother, because it isn't worth it. It's the vibrator that causes numbness, not the hand, not the hand. The hand is attached to the arm which has an elbow somewhere in the middle and that is what hurts. Tennis elbow, and they wonder why people get it so much ...

 

Re: VIBRATORS » Tamar

Posted by Susan47 on October 13, 2005, at 21:57:26

In reply to Re: VIBRATORS » Susan47, posted by Tamar on October 13, 2005, at 5:43:57

Yes, His fingers are nice and long, lovely absolutely gorgeous, beautiful hands. I hate that they're attached to Him. But the again, they're probably just lovely because of the way I feel. Attached t someone else, they're probably average hands.
Or maybe not.
I drive myself nuts with this thinking. Enough. So, okay, I'Ve seen women in one movie using this jelly-like vibrator, I think it was a vibrator not a dildo, but what's a dildo like, anybody used one of those? Anyway, it was soft and I could see that feeling kind of like the real thing. I don't get it, though, for me, penetration still has to have a person attached.

 

Re: VIBRATORS » caraher

Posted by Susan47 on October 13, 2005, at 22:06:55

In reply to Re: VIBRATORS, posted by caraher on October 13, 2005, at 11:29:13

So nice to hear from a male. Okay, you said this,
There is still something of a stigma to it for men in that if it is your *sole* source of release you're "less of a man" somehow. "Here I am, doing this again - what a loser!"

I know the stigma you're referring to, it's like a macho male thing to have a woman or even more than one, accessible. But I think the real men are the ones who can take care of their own needs without taking advantage of anyone else, without putting out false feelings just to get laid. So, a lot of un-macho, loser men DO get laid. What a stupid stigma, and women have it too, don't kid yourself. We have the same stigma. It isn't really right.


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