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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Tamar on October 23, 2005, at 18:50:15
In reply to Re: Don't want to kill the VIBRATOR thread..., posted by fairywings on October 23, 2005, at 18:38:17
> i'm glad you can think of yourself and look at yourself and be kind. i think i tend to focus more on what's attractive about other ppl, but not about me. i don't like my body.
I know. I struggle with it too. And yet when I notice the men I’m attracted to, none of them have ‘perfect’ bodies, but I find them attractive because they are who they are. For example, my husband weighs about 300 pounds but it suits him (he’s also 6’6” and has the biggest feet I’ve ever seen…). So perhaps my ‘imperfections’ aren’t as unattractive to other people as I think they are.
> > I like my breasts...
>
> that might be an okay part of me, but not much else.Well, that’s a very good thing! I read recently that it’s one of the first things men notice about women… so if yours are nice you’re off to a flying start!
Tamar
Posted by caraher on October 23, 2005, at 20:03:05
In reply to Re: Don't want to kill the VIBRATOR thread... » fairywings, posted by Tamar on October 23, 2005, at 18:50:15
> So perhaps my ‘imperfections’ aren’t as unattractive to other people as I think they are.
Just to toss in my own viewing habits ;) I like to look at what pleases me, not what displeases me. By contrast, so often women are highly self-critical about their bodies and focus obsessively on whatever they think are their least appealing features. When you do that you're certainly not seeing yourself the way I would see you, and I'd imagine the same goes for how most other people would see you as well.
Having grown up with three sisters and currently married to an... ummm... "outspoken" woman, I'd also like to add that the women I've known have far keener eyes when it comes to spotting "flaws" in other women than I do, and I don't think I'm exceptionally unobservant.
Posted by Tamar on October 23, 2005, at 20:18:53
In reply to Re: Don't want to kill the VIBRATOR thread..., posted by caraher on October 23, 2005, at 20:03:05
> Just to toss in my own viewing habits ;)
:)
> I like to look at what pleases me, not what displeases me. By contrast, so often women are highly self-critical about their bodies and focus obsessively on whatever they think are their least appealing features. When you do that you're certainly not seeing yourself the way I would see you, and I'd imagine the same goes for how most other people would see you as well.
That’s probably true… and it would account for all sort of events that surprised me immensely…
> Having grown up with three sisters and currently married to an... ummm... "outspoken" woman, I'd also like to add that the women I've known have far keener eyes when it comes to spotting "flaws" in other women than I do, and I don't think I'm exceptionally unobservant.
Yeah. I think we women can be our own worst enemies. I must admit I’m not keen on spotting flaws in other women except on the few occasions when I’m feeling particularly cr*p about myself, and somehow seeing someone with a flabbier tummy than I have can make me feel better about myself. It’s not helpful, really, because (a) there aren’t many women who look more postpartum than I do, and (b) men don’t notice that stuff anyway; they’re too busy looking at my amazing breasts (tee hee).
Posted by fairywings on October 24, 2005, at 18:33:46
In reply to Re: Don't want to kill the VIBRATOR thread... » fairywings, posted by Tamar on October 23, 2005, at 18:50:15
> > I’m attracted to, none of them have ‘perfect’ bodies, but I find them attractive because they are who they are.
Same here. Nothing much to do with looks at all.
>For example, my husband weighs about 300 pounds but it suits him (he’s also 6’6” and has the biggest feet I’ve ever seen…).
Sounds like a big teddy bear of a guy! ; ) Bet he gives great hugs!
> Well, that’s a very good thing! I read recently that it’s one of the first things men notice about women…
LOL, I had to laugh at this because I did notice not too long ago someone who shouldn't have been looking at them was! LOL And I had to smile to myself because I caught him. I don't think he noticed I caught him, but now every time I see him I wonder if he's looking, and I know a secret about him - he's a breast man! ; )
fw
Posted by fairywings on October 24, 2005, at 18:41:11
In reply to Re: Don't want to kill the VIBRATOR thread..., posted by caraher on October 23, 2005, at 20:03:05
Caraher, if you weren't married, and I wasn't married, I'd be asking you for a date! You are always so wonderfully honest and sweet.
I get down on myself when I'm not exercising everyday. When I am I feel pretty good, so I guess for me body image is wrapped up a lot in my emotional health. I started back to running today, and felt good about it, so maybe feeling good about me will follow.
(((hugs)))
fw
Posted by fairywings on October 24, 2005, at 18:50:12
In reply to Re: Don't want to kill the VIBRATOR thread... » caraher, posted by Tamar on October 23, 2005, at 20:18:53
> > I think we women can be our own worst enemies.
I usually look less at the women who have the flaws than the women who look better than I do, and wonder how they look so good.
You know what I hate is seeing a woman have who don't seem to have a clue about what they wear. I've seen teens at the mall who should NOT wear belly shirts. And women who are large-ish wearing skin tight clothes, or letting tummy show - like a belly shirt. Or shirts that are showing buxom breasts in all their glory, in very inappropriate locations - like school. And older women dressing like teen-agers.
I know it's none of my business, but you have to wonder what ppl are thinking. They're probably wondering what in the heck I'm thinking dressing the way I do! ; ) LOL
Posted by rainbowbrite on October 24, 2005, at 20:07:44
In reply to Re: Don't want to kill the VIBRATOR thread..., posted by fairywings on October 24, 2005, at 18:50:12
> I know it's none of my business, but you have to wonder what ppl are thinking.
HAHA first off i just read some of this thread!! LMAO you guys totally crack me up!
and second, I know exacly what you mean FW! :-0
Posted by Susan47 on October 24, 2005, at 20:27:40
In reply to Re: Don't want to kill the VIBRATOR thread... » Tamar, posted by fairywings on October 24, 2005, at 18:33:46
With regard to your last post, what you said about someone who shouldn't have been looking but was, my ex-T stared outright, I mean Outright. I couldn't understand it, because he seemed to sedate and cautious in other ways. But when he didn't realize he was being watched, the most amazing looks came over his cute little face. God, I loved that man.
I remembe him starting right straight at my crotch one day when I was sitting cross-legged. It was sweet/funny/pathetic/irritating/sexy and outrageous. And good, really excellent, fodder for anger.
That irritated me about him. He seemed to think everything was about sex and him. Sex and him. Sex and him. Or was it just me?
No it was not.
Either that, or he is (and I really suspect this) not as sophisticated as he plays.
Posted by Tamar on October 25, 2005, at 17:53:00
In reply to Re: Don't want to kill the VIBRATOR thread..., posted by fairywings on October 24, 2005, at 18:50:12
> I usually look less at the women who have the flaws than the women who look better than I do, and wonder how they look so good.
I often feel quite attracted to women, so if women look good I’m not necessarily comparing myself with them…
> You know what I hate is seeing a woman have who don't seem to have a clue about what they wear. I've seen teens at the mall who should NOT wear belly shirts. And women who are large-ish wearing skin tight clothes, or letting tummy show - like a belly shirt. Or shirts that are showing buxom breasts in all their glory, in very inappropriate locations - like school. And older women dressing like teen-agers.
Yeah, sometimes… Though sometimes I envy their confidence to wear clothes that feel sexy even if they don’t have model figures… On the other hand, I used to work with a woman who was quite a bit older and she always wore transparent tops with very obvious bras and I thought that was a bit too much for work! The funny thing was that the women who worked there thought she shouldn’t dress like that, but the men loved it! So she got a lot of attention and I guess she liked it.
> I know it's none of my business, but you have to wonder what ppl are thinking. They're probably wondering what in the heck I'm thinking dressing the way I do! ; ) LOL
Well, it takes all sorts! I find it such a struggle to find clothes that fit me (I’m both tall and overweight) that I figure people should just be glad I’m wearing something!
Posted by AdaGrace on October 27, 2005, at 9:28:42
In reply to Don't want to kill the VIBRATOR thread..., posted by Tamar on October 23, 2005, at 17:27:30
I have totally missed the Vibrator thread.
Shows where my head has been these past few weeks.
Posted by Susan47 on October 27, 2005, at 19:59:06
In reply to Re: I'm Totally Amazed, posted by AdaGrace on October 27, 2005, at 9:28:42
From the first post to the last, nothing stayed the same .. well, maybe not true but it sounded good. :) I actually just re-read the first post here, and went, omigod that "friend" feels like a big MISTAKE .. sometimes it's when you see other things about people that your mind gets made up.
For example: There's this yummy dr. at work, wife just left him apparently .. and the rumour is she just had enough of his OCD-type behaviour .. well he gives the Nicest Looks, you know, and he has Big Feet if yu know what I mean (literally and otherwise I'm pretty sure .. you remember Valentino?) I caught myself giving him a once-over, once. Hm-hm.
Anyway stuff is starting to come out about him that makes him seem like a rather flaky alternative to being alone. :) I like that. I really like that I'm seeing things as they really are FOR THE FIRST TIME.
AG, I mean, can you IMAGINE???
Think about all the things in your own life which could use a Change of Perspective .. weird, hey? I'll bet most people couldn't even name what they were.
It's really cool to get older.
Hey, AG, do you have boobs? 'Cause I've never had them Until Now.
Want to know something really weird???
Posted by AdaGrace on October 27, 2005, at 21:55:17
In reply to Everything's Changed » AdaGrace, posted by Susan47 on October 27, 2005, at 19:59:06
Susan, you are a sexual goddess I aspire to emulate.
Yes, dear one, I have boobs. have had all my adult life. Unfortunately they came due to excess weight, but still are there. Just wish they pointed towards the sun instead of my feet.
Posted by Susan47 on October 28, 2005, at 18:57:39
In reply to Re: Everything's Changed » Susan47, posted by AdaGrace on October 27, 2005, at 21:55:17
Bless God .. and I'm not religious.
But mine don't point anywhere near down, not really. I mean, especially now that they have substance. In a way I'm glad I've been skinny all my life.
Except for once when I was about seventeen-20. Then it was all skinny from there, and in spite of 3 kids, now I'm finally near fifty putting on some nice weight and I don't mind and I actually find my tummy sticking out with a deeper belly button than before, and these big boobs that feel delicious, well .. I'm, like, actually for the first time enjoying the fact that my skin is filled out.
I'm pretty lucky. There's lots of things I'd like to change about me but I'm happy with these few, and that's batting higher than I ever have before.
Posted by Tamar on October 28, 2005, at 20:42:24
In reply to Re: Everything's Changed, posted by Susan47 on October 28, 2005, at 18:57:39
> Bless God .. and I'm not religious.
> But mine don't point anywhere near down, not really. I mean, especially now that they have substance. In a way I'm glad I've been skinny all my life.
> Except for once when I was about seventeen-20. Then it was all skinny from there, and in spite of 3 kids, now I'm finally near fifty putting on some nice weight and I don't mind and I actually find my tummy sticking out with a deeper belly button than before, and these big boobs that feel delicious, well .. I'm, like, actually for the first time enjoying the fact that my skin is filled out.
> I'm pretty lucky. There's lots of things I'd like to change about me but I'm happy with these few, and that's batting higher than I ever have before.Mine seem to point sideways sometimes…maybe it’s a G-cup thing… I find that a decent bra makes them point forwards, which is my personal preference!
I’ve always been curvy, even when I was very slim. I quite like it. Since I had kids I’ve acquired some extra curves on my hip bones that I really love. (But there’s also the tummy that I’m not so keen on…)
I quite like the way my body has changed over the years… it’s as if all the things I’ve done are written on it.
Posted by Susan47 on October 29, 2005, at 11:19:56
In reply to Re: Everything's Changed, posted by Tamar on October 28, 2005, at 20:42:24
True, some things .. most really .. I really don't like, but I can live with it. As long as I'm decently clothed. Or alone, out in the sun.. the sun's a great equalizer. It makes you just not care. But I'm not great on public nudity, that's just ridiculous. It might feel great, but it makes everybody seem too much like sardines in a can. I like that what makes us so human is our proclivity to show our uniqueness in that with which we drape our physical selves. I love looking at people in clothing.
Mmmm... but yuck, if it isn't right. I can't stand the yucks.
I think I'm flying and I probably shouldn't be going out.
Posted by Susan47 on October 29, 2005, at 11:21:30
In reply to Re: Everything's Changed, posted by Tamar on October 28, 2005, at 20:42:24
Tell me that cup size again? Because I don't think there is such a thing as a G, right? You're kidding. It only goes D doesn't it? Who Knows?
Posted by Tamar on October 29, 2005, at 13:04:40
In reply to Re: Everything's Changed » Tamar, posted by Susan47 on October 29, 2005, at 11:21:30
> Tell me that cup size again? Because I don't think there is such a thing as a G, right? You're kidding. It only goes D doesn't it? Who Knows?
Well, in most shops it only goes to D and so people like me have to buy bras online! When I was breastfeeding I had to get a 38J. I've seen bras up to an L-cup!
Posted by Susan47 on October 29, 2005, at 16:30:58
In reply to Re: Everything's Changed, posted by Tamar on October 29, 2005, at 13:04:40
I'm just wondering if you're carrying around a lot of boobage, would it be better to be reduced a bit, for the sake of your back? Or are you okay? I know I'm starting to spill out of my modest C-cup which used to be a B and I'm wondering, I can't imagine having to need a D, it just seems ridiculous. I mean, did they change bra sizes the way they've changed clothing sizes? Because I used to be a 7-9 and now I'm a 3-4 or 5-6. Which is ridiculous, I mean, I've even bought a 2 recently, and now I see they're down around 000. How can you be a zero or less?
Fashion is insane. All those gay designers who want us to look like boys. Well, we aren't boys. And I won't apologize for that.
Posted by Tamar on October 29, 2005, at 17:44:57
In reply to Re: Everything's Changed » Tamar, posted by Susan47 on October 29, 2005, at 16:30:58
> I'm just wondering if you're carrying around a lot of boobage, would it be better to be reduced a bit, for the sake of your back? Or are you okay?
My back is fine as long as I wear a decent bra… I think surgery is a really serious matter, so I wouldn’t go under the knife unless I were in constant pain.
> I know I'm starting to spill out of my modest C-cup which used to be a B and I'm wondering, I can't imagine having to need a D, it just seems ridiculous. I mean, did they change bra sizes the way they've changed clothing sizes?
As far as I know, bra sizes are still the same. So I guess you’re just increasing your assets!
> Because I used to be a 7-9 and now I'm a 3-4 or 5-6. Which is ridiculous, I mean, I've even bought a 2 recently, and now I see they're down around 000. How can you be a zero or less?
I have no idea. I don’t even know what size I am. I have clothes of various sizes… I think it depends on the cut or something. I find it difficult to get clothes that fit properly and I end up having to take things in at the waist (which is odd because my waist disappeared after baby #3).
> Fashion is insane. All those gay designers who want us to look like boys. Well, we aren't boys. And I won't apologize for that.
Yeah, I could never pass as a boy. But then, I’m not very interested in fashion! If something fits and isn’t too old or too young for me, I’ll wear it.
Posted by Susan47 on October 29, 2005, at 22:17:24
In reply to Re: Everything's Changed » Susan47, posted by Tamar on October 29, 2005, at 17:44:57
I ONLY wear it if it makes me feel good. Or if I have no choice, as in uniforms at work. I HATE wearing a uniform, but sometimes it's just necessary. And I rip it off as soon as I get in the door.. also don't put it on til I'm ready to leave, I do hate uniforms.
Posted by Tamar on October 30, 2005, at 5:57:46
In reply to Re: Everything's Changed » Tamar, posted by Susan47 on October 29, 2005, at 22:17:24
> I ONLY wear it if it makes me feel good. Or if I have no choice, as in uniforms at work. I HATE wearing a uniform, but sometimes it's just necessary. And I rip it off as soon as I get in the door.. also don't put it on til I'm ready to leave, I do hate uniforms.
Perhaps you have more choice with clothes than I do! Mind you, when I say I wear anything that fits, I mean that it has to fit properly. A tent dress would cover me up, but it wouldn’t really fit. So I guess I do like to look as good as I can under the circumstances. But if I find something that fits properly I’ll wear it even if it’s a colour or a fabric or a style that doesn’t particularly appeal to me. Except horizontal stripes. I won’t wear horizontal stripes.
One summer when I was a student I worked at (*whispers*) the golden arches. Now there’s a uniform I hope never to be putting on again! Susan, I absolutely can't imagine you in that uniform... But I think women can look really sexy in some uniforms, like police or military uniforms. I don’t really notice men in uniform (I don’t like authority thing), but on the other hand men in nursing uniforms… Hmm!
Posted by Susan47 on October 30, 2005, at 13:25:58
In reply to Re: Everything's Changed » Susan47, posted by Tamar on October 30, 2005, at 5:57:46
Men in nursing uniforms aren't all that sexy, either. Or scrubs. Definitely not sexy. Especially with dark, hairy hairy dark arms coming out them .. ew. I prefer men with golden fluffy type hair .. but anyway aside from that, it's not the uniforms that make the guys sexy, it's their own self. ;)
Posted by Tamar on October 30, 2005, at 16:43:16
In reply to Re: Everything's Changed, posted by Susan47 on October 30, 2005, at 13:25:58
> Men in nursing uniforms aren't all that sexy, either. Or scrubs. Definitely not sexy. Especially with dark, hairy hairy dark arms coming out them .. ew. I prefer men with golden fluffy type hair .. but anyway aside from that, it's not the uniforms that make the guys sexy, it's their own self. ;)
Ha ha! I love dark hairy arms! And I gave up on guys with golden fluffy hair when I was 7: they just don't like me. I don’t think we’ll ever be competing for men… and that’s fine by me, because you’d totally win!
Posted by Susan47 on November 3, 2005, at 20:18:55
In reply to Re: Everything's Changed » Susan47, posted by Tamar on October 30, 2005, at 16:43:16
I don't think so, dearie. Those days are far behind me, I'm not young enough anymore, that's the truth. But what I do like about this age, is my feeling that now I can take my time, you know, and really appreciate what I have as I'm losing it .. can't you believe the irony in that? Life is just full of them. I hate that, that's what makes nightmares come. Ironies. But it's true, you know. They torture us with the sanity of it all. So now in any case, I'm at the age where I can attract guys for FUN and not feel bad about it, because there're no more ulterior motives for making myself happy. I just.. have that right.
Now if only I could get the message through to the right people, everything'd be cool. But do you know another Irony, Tamar? Here's another one. There are no longer the men out there who I find interesting enough to give the time of day.
Which blows me away. Because I always thought I was stupid, I hid my intelligence even from me. Mostly from me. Even now I'm not sure I have any at all. I'm just a nutcase, a fruitcake, an idiot box. But I have to like that otherwise what was the point in living? So anyway, in any case, it's better to think I'm smart than I'm dumb. Even just thinking that way, seems smart. So okay. Then how many guys, how many men do you know, personally, who are attractive enough and smart enough all in one package, to get your attention? Well obviously, there aren't enough of them. Period. So the irony is that sometimes it's best just not to feel sexy, it's best and so many women my age do this, they squash it down and put it away before it's time. Others hang on to too little for too long, and others have Oomph till the final flame. I really would love to be in the last category. I even know people in that category. Always had it, never lost it.
It's possible. I don't kow.
Posted by Susan47 on November 3, 2005, at 20:21:01
In reply to Re: Everything's Changed » Tamar, posted by Susan47 on November 3, 2005, at 20:18:55
Always had it never lost it. Betcha. I'll be seeing him on the street or something and think, who's that gorgeous guy, and the next shock will be, oh. Oh. Sorry, I'm sorry, I do exist. Yes, I do.
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