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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Liz on March 21, 2000, at 18:13:21
My best friend was divorced last summer and has been avoiding driving farther than a couple miles since then. She has been seeing a psychiatrist for 'therapy' and he also gives her Xanax. She is not improved at all. I suggested maybe an antidepressant might help. Does this sound familiar to anybody and what is the treatment. BTW she initiated the divorce and has a good job as an administrator of a foundation. She is also finishing a PhD currently. I'm getting tired of driving her places, plus I think she could be getting better given appropriate treatment.
Posted by CarolAnn on March 21, 2000, at 19:33:18
In reply to Afraid to drive following divorce, posted by Liz on March 21, 2000, at 18:13:21
Liz, your friend may need to look for a new psychiatrist, if this one doesn't seem to be helping. It sounds as if she has developed a phobia with her driving, in which case she might need some kind of specific, specialized, therapy. You could probably help her by doing research on phobias and treatments, and then find a Doctor who specializes. It may seem like a lot of trouble, but with her problems, your friend probably won't or can't see the need to be this pro-active for herself. If you don't "take charge" she will probably just "go with the flow" and get worse. I hope you don't mind, these are just opinions. Best wishes! CarolAnn
Posted by kazoo on March 22, 2000, at 3:13:39
In reply to Afraid to drive following divorce, posted by Liz on March 21, 2000, at 18:13:21
> My best friend was divorced last summer and has been avoiding driving farther than a couple miles since then. She has been seeing a psychiatrist for 'therapy' and he also gives her Xanax. She is not improved at all. I suggested maybe an antidepressant might help. Does this sound familiar to anybody and what is the treatment. BTW she initiated the divorce and has a good job as an administrator of a foundation. She is also finishing a PhD currently. I'm getting tired of driving her places, plus I think she could be getting better given appropriate treatment.
^^^^^^^^^^
Say what?
Let me see if I understand this revolting development: she gets a divorce and then develops AUTOPHOBIA?
Does she dream of big, hair carburetors chasing her to EXXON stations?
There appears to be a big gaping hole in rationale here between the event and the subsequent action.
It sounds to me that she's just lazy, and is a mooch; i.e., taking advantage of your kindness ... but
enough is enough, and you indicate that you're fed up with it, too! Little wonder!
This woman doesn't need a therapist ... she needs bus passes. Or a bicycle.
Just say "no" to the next request because you are, in essence, enabling her so-called fear of driving.
In fact, you may be doing her a favor by forcing her into a position where she would have no choice but
to face her fear(s), and do something about it on her own. She's using you as a crutch.
Why should *she* have to drive when she has a good friend to do this for her?
I bet her fear would quickly dissipate if she drove a spiffy new Ferrari.
I apologize if I sound cruel, cold, callous and crass (my better points), but I just don't buy this crock of crap.kazoo
Kinder thoughts: is it *really* driving she fears ... or fears being alone *while* driving.
Only her therapist can determine this, and, quite frankly, I don't believe any drug would help in this sort of
situation.
Posted by HSapien on March 22, 2000, at 11:46:19
In reply to Re: Afraid to drive following divorce, posted by kazoo on March 22, 2000, at 3:13:39
^^^^^^^^^^
> Say what?
> Let me see if I understand this revolting development: she gets a divorce and then develops AUTOPHOBIA?
> Does she dream of big, hair carburetors chasing her to EXXON stations?
> There appears to be a big gaping hole in rationale here between the event and the subsequent action.
> It sounds to me that she's just lazy, and is a mooch; i.e., taking advantage of your kindness ... but
> enough is enough, and you indicate that you're fed up with it, too! Little wonder!
> This woman doesn't need a therapist ... she needs bus passes. Or a bicycle.
> Just say "no" to the next request because you are, in essence, enabling her so-called fear of driving.
> In fact, you may be doing her a favor by forcing her into a position where she would have no choice but
> to face her fear(s), and do something about it on her own. She's using you as a crutch.
> Why should *she* have to drive when she has a good friend to do this for her?
> I bet her fear would quickly dissipate if she drove a spiffy new Ferrari.
> I apologize if I sound cruel, cold, callous and crass (my better points), but I just don't buy this crock of crap.
>
> kazoo
>
> Kinder thoughts: is it *really* driving she fears ... or fears being alone *while* driving.
> Only her therapist can determine this, and, quite frankly, I don't believe any drug would help in this sort of
> situation.Kazoo- It was cruel, cold, callous and downright mean.(Bob the Duck was at least partly right,there is at least one mean human here.) Cruelty is not a psychological problem. Perhaps you would feel more at home at ProctoBabble rather than PsychoBabble.
Posted by Noa on March 22, 2000, at 15:19:13
In reply to Re: cruel cold callous crass/Kazoo, posted by HSapien on March 22, 2000, at 11:46:19
> > There appears to be a big gaping hole in rationale here between the event and the subsequent action.RATIONALE????? Since when do phobias require rationales?
I know someone who developed a driving phobia and was helped by behavioral therapy, including biofeedback training, from a major university hospital outpatient program.Question is: is your friend ready or motivated to seek help and make a change? If she isn't, I do think you need to be honest, first with yourself, and then with your friend, about how much help you are comfortable offering, and to gently but firmly set limits.
Posted by bob on March 22, 2000, at 19:04:35
In reply to Re: cruel cold callous crass/Kazoo, posted by Noa on March 22, 2000, at 15:19:13
... is there one, CarolAnn?
What I mean is this: is the fear of driving just covering up for something else? Maybe she hasn't had the courage to say anything about it (reminiscent of those "embarrassing thoughts" threads of late).
It's always tough to "diagnose" a problem second-hand ... how about nudging her to come to Babbleland herself -- just to lurk about at first if she wants. Its like a lot of first-time responders like to say -- just being here and seeing there are others who feel the way you do can help a lot.
cheers,
bobps. to kazoo -- speaking huckster to huckster, remember rule one: you can make as much fun of your own disorder as you want, but putting down someone else's pain, even (or especially!) tongue-in-cheek, is a major penalty. Five minutes in the box for you, kid.
Posted by Phil on March 23, 2000, at 12:30:13
In reply to Afraid to drive following divorce, posted by Liz on March 21, 2000, at 18:13:21
Does she seem happy with her decision to divorce?
Maybe she just doesn't 'want to move forward'.
Wild-ass guess.
Posted by kazoo on March 23, 2000, at 13:10:26
In reply to Re: cruel cold callous crass/Kazoo, posted by HSapien on March 22, 2000, at 11:46:19
> Kazoo- It was cruel, cold, callous and downright mean.(Bob the Duck was at least partly right,there is at least one mean human here.) Cruelty is not a psychological problem. Perhaps you would feel more at home at ProctoBabble rather than PsychoBabble.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
A very humble kazoo, on this day, wrote:Greetings to Liz:
I apologize for my insensitive response.
The best of luck to you and your friend in finding help.
kazoo--------------------------------
Greetings to HSapien:
You're right, and I promise this will not happen again.
I plan to THINK before opening MY BIG MOUTH!
I appreciate your sensitivity in this area.
kazoo--------------------------------
Greetings to bob:
Thank you, bob, for pointing this out to me.
I shall put a sock on it in the future.
kazoo
Posted by bob on March 24, 2000, at 23:03:04
In reply to Re: cruel cold callous crass/Kazoo: Apology, posted by kazoo on March 23, 2000, at 13:10:26
Subtle, kazoo, and not malicious. Einstein would be proud.
;^)
bob
Posted by HSapien on March 25, 2000, at 9:09:08
In reply to Re: cruel cold callous crass/Kazoo: Apology, posted by kazoo on March 23, 2000, at 13:10:26
> > Kazoo- It was cruel, cold, callous and downright mean.(Bob the Duck was at least partly right,there is at least one mean human here.) Cruelty is not a psychological problem. Perhaps you would feel more at home at ProctoBabble rather than PsychoBabble.
> Greetings to HSapien:
> You're right, and I promise this will not happen again.
> I plan to THINK before opening MY BIG MOUTH!
> I appreciate your sensitivity in this area.
> kazoo
>
Kazoo-I stand by what I said but if I'd given it a little thought I might have phrased things differently myself. It's hard to avoid jumping to the obvious conclusion isn't it? There are different kinds of wisdom just like there are different kinds of people. Sorry if I hurt your feelings, I was just trying to be funny and fit in here. HeteroSapien
Posted by AprilA. on March 25, 2000, at 11:53:38
In reply to Re: cruel cold callous crass/Kazoo: Apology, posted by HSapien on March 25, 2000, at 9:09:08
>
>
> Kazoo-I stand by what I said but if I'd given it a little thought I might have phrased things differently myself. It's hard to avoid jumping to the obvious conclusion isn't it? There are different kinds of wisdom just like there are different kinds of people. Sorry if I hurt your feelings, I was just trying to be funny and fit in here. HeteroSapien
>
>Kind,HSapien, and not mean-spirited. You may not be an Einstein, but you're definately a heterogenius! ;o) A.
This is the end of the thread.
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