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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Maggie C on March 8, 2001, at 11:27:12
I have a long history of starting antidepressants, achieving some level of 'success', then quitting them just to live on the edge for a little while. My doctor loves this pattern (for sure!) but he keeps talking to me just the same.
With other meds, Paxil, Serzone, Zoloft, I have managed to last quite a while before I have to admit that I am going down a slippery slope.
With Effexor XR (and I haven't been on it for that long), just missing one day is bad! I am now midway into my sliding pattern, and after just 3 days I am glad to hear all of my withdrawal symptoms described in previous postings are quite par for the course! I haven't been able to sleep for the last few days, what with all the 'noise' and 'movement' in my head. I had written off some other symptoms as just aging, like leg pains, eye twitches, EXTREME nervousness, etc. but now I know I am just in the idiots club!
If I survive this withdrawal(and I seriously doubt it), I refuse to be a guinea pig anymore. What kind of psycho-quacks dream up this s--t anyways? I was willing to accept that my brain is a little off kilter, but this scrambles it! Good luck to anyone who endures!
Posted by MB on March 8, 2001, at 13:10:48
In reply to Why stay on these meds, posted by Maggie C on March 8, 2001, at 11:27:12
Yeah, I have to admit that these drugs make me feel worse. the depression seems better, but I think that is in part due to the fact that that I am so focused on the headaches, restless legs, anxiety, insomnia, lethargy, pounding heart, dizzyness, nausea and violent attacks of rage that these drugs induce to "remember" I'm depressed. There are better ways to "distract" myself from my depression. Cheaper too.
Posted by Maggie C on March 8, 2001, at 15:09:38
In reply to Why stay on these meds, posted by Maggie C on March 8, 2001, at 11:27:12
Does anyone out there know why I stop taking my meds just as soon as I start to feel all-right? I know I am not fooled into thinking I can stay that way unmedicated, but for some reason I am in a big hurry to get sick all over again. The consequences are real - I lost my job recently and don't have much confidence about getting another. If I don't get a call back after an interview, I feel like killing someone (not me!). I also know my husband cannot take this rollercoaster anymore. We just start to lead normal social lives and I venture over to the dark side again (on purpose, no less). I can't tell him I am in that space now, but he obviously suspects it. My kids suffer too, but I can't stop. Can my doctor stop seeing me if I don't cooperate? Is this like banging your head against a wall because it feels better when you stop? Please don't dismiss me. I am not kidding here, this is really how I feel and I don't know how to stop..
Posted by Suze on March 8, 2001, at 21:21:28
In reply to Re: Why stay on these meds, posted by Maggie C on March 8, 2001, at 15:09:38
> Does anyone out there know why I stop taking my meds just as soon as I start to feel all-right? I know I am not fooled into thinking I can stay that way unmedicated, but for some reason I am in a big hurry to get sick all over again. The consequences are real - I lost my job recently and don't have much confidence about getting another. If I don't get a call back after an interview, I feel like killing someone (not me!). I also know my husband cannot take this rollercoaster anymore. We just start to lead normal social lives and I venture over to the dark side again (on purpose, no less). I can't tell him I am in that space now, but he obviously suspects it. My kids suffer too, but I can't stop. Can my doctor stop seeing me if I don't cooperate? Is this like banging your head against a wall because it feels better when you stop? Please don't dismiss me. I am not kidding here, this is really how I feel and I don't know how to stop..
***I can't tell you why you do this, but I can share my own experience. I've done this, too, for years. Not only with meds, but with therapy. Just when therapy seemed to be making a dent in things I'd stop. Just when the meds seemed to be controlling my ups and downs (I'm bi-polar) I'd stop taking 'em. I've lost jobs, gone through three marriages, three divorces (and a few long-term relationships). I'm a walking, talking 42-year-old disaster (rapid-fire talking--I sometimes trip through so many subjects in one sitting that people ask me to slow down. I've lost so-called friends over my "weird behavior"). I suck when it comes to managing my own life. I have extreme social anxiety which hits me in cycles. There are times when I'm so paranoid I can't leave the house. When I'm manic and way up there I can get any job, anything I want (well, I get a little grandiose and tell myself so) and when I come back down again I'm just me, scared to death of things so that the life I've begun to put together for myself falls apart. Could this be what you go through? I'm just guessing here. What you said about going over to the "dark side" and how you do it "on purpose..." well, it just hit a high note with me. I recently admitted to my best friend that I am in LOVE with my mania, that I feel men fall for my mania rather than for me. Why would I want to give that up??? I'm a writer and my best creative times occur during manias. Like you, I find myself asking--why should I stay on these meds? I'm currently on depakote and I also take ativan when I'm under a great deal of anxiety. Yes, the meds DO help. My manic episodes have leveled off. I've been exercising to combat depression because the hell if I'm going to let them add yet another drug to what I already consider too many drugs in my life. Anyway, sorry to go on here. I can relate, though, to what you're going through, Maggie. I keep telling myself I can do without the meds; that if I can just "think myself well" I'll be okay. Time and time again I've shown myself to be wrong, spiraling downward into hell and back up again to manic episodes so high you'd think I was ON something (when the only thing I was on was my weird chemical imbalance). *sigh* My last boyfriend--after I left him--told my new boyfriend that after nearly 6 years together he was "relieved to be off the rollercoaster." I DO know how you're feeling.
Best,
Suze
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