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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by sid on May 2, 2002, at 10:10:28
Not sure where I should post this, so it's here AND on PSB...
Hello all -
I saw my doc this morning, and she played phsychotherapist. I go to a doc and take drugs precisely because I'm done with psychotherapy - I know myself well, my qualities, my flaws, and I am fine with it all. I am very excentric in one part of my life, and I'm fine with it too, as long as people around me don't bother me, i.e. as long as they accept me and don't make my life hellish. A previous therapist wanted me to change this excentric part of me, which I repeatedly told him I did not want to change, until I stopped seeing him because he was wasting my time and making me feel bad about myself.Now this doc gets to the same thing: I need to change. She pisses me off, makes me cry, not because it is a sore point, as I told her, but because I feel judged and unaccepted by her, as by most people, unfortunately. I tell her this is the way I am, period. If you can't take it, I'll go to another doc, there's plenty of them. She says fine, but know that whenever you feel like talking about it, I'm open to it. She gives me my prescription and I'm out of there.
I then go to the pharmacy, and oops, she doubled my dose !!! Without discussing it with me !!! She knows I don't like to take meds, I don't want high doses, and because I don't agree with her on what MY lifestyle should be, she increases my dosage. Nice work, doc. Mmmmm. That's why I never wanted to take meds before. I was probably right too.
So I'm currently on 75mg of Effexor XR a day, and I never thought I'd say this, but I'm thinking of quitting cold turkey. I won't do it, I know better, but sdhe can take her increase in dosage and shove it. Nobody treats me like that! I am so furious. I told the pharmacist she made a mistake, that I'm on 75mg a day. She'll call the doc to verify and we'll see. It better be a mistake. I was already unhappy with her services when I got out of there, if she changed the dosage on purpose without discussing it with me, I am not sure what I will do. Probably go see some other doc and taper off ASAP. My sister tried to control me all my life - this doc does not realize how control-resistant I had to become just to survive this far.
Posted by cmcdougall on May 2, 2002, at 12:28:17
In reply to unhappy with my doc today, posted by sid on May 2, 2002, at 10:10:28
Dear Sid,
I completely understand about learning to understand oneself and coming to accept it as an integral part of ones personality. I am known to be quite eccentric myself, and proud of it (although I spent lots of $$ on therapy to get here)! My grown daughter used to ask me why I was so weird... I would reply, "which would you prefer, a weird mommy or a boring mommy?" Then she would giggle and agree that a weird mommy is more fun.
I too have had enough of prolonged talk therapy, but every 5 or 10 years I need a "booster" - usually a couple of 1 hour sessions w/ my pdoc who counsels and well as medicates. Last year I ended up in an 2 week intensive CBT program (because Effexor withdrawal made me koo-koo). I actually got a lot out of it.
Anyway, try to cool off and think about this in a few days. If you are still pissed, then get a new pdoc. No one should put up w/ nonsense from a "paid servant" - a dr. IS supposed to serve you for pay...
Lastly, 75mg is a pretty low dose for Effexor. You might consider trying the 150mg dose, or even something different. The right meds can make a remarkable difference in your life.
Love and luck,
Carlyps. The only time I believe that we should TRY to change is when our behaviors have a negative impact, either in our own lives or someone else's.
Posted by sid on May 2, 2002, at 12:57:52
In reply to Re: unhappy with my doc today » sid, posted by cmcdougall on May 2, 2002, at 12:28:17
Hi Carly, thanks for your answer... I did cool off during lunch and now it seems relatively unimportant, although I do want to get the dosage issue straightened out. I know that 75md a day is low, but it's been working so far, and 3 weeks ago, I changed the time when I take it (with dinner instead of breakfast), and it's working even better. I tend to think: why fix it if it ain't broke? I have a LOT of work ahead of me, in the next couple of months, and I really don't want to mess with dosage changes and side effects if I don't have to.
> ps. The only time I believe that we should TRY to change is when our behaviors have a negative impact, either in our own lives or someone else's.
I believe that too. I truly think that the best I can be is how I currently am. Concretely: single - I don't want to be part of a couple, and everybody treats me like I have some terrible disease because of it. People ask you if you are married, if you have a boyfriend, if you're gay, nowadays even if you like animals! But they can't take "I just prefer to be alone." I go to the movies alone because you're not supposed to talk durin a movie in a movie theater anyway - my doc even had a problem with THAT! I'm apparently supposed to like to have company when I go to the movies. What am I? 6 years old? From most people's point of view, it's not right to spend your life alone, but from my point of view, it's the right thing to do. My doc apparently belongs to the most-people-club, and she wants me to join it too. It seems to me I'm making a personal choice and it's nobody's business but mine. My family bothers me with that, my friends (so now I even avoid them!), my former psychotherapist and now my doc. Geez. I might wanna try being, I don't know, a swinger or something, it is best accepted nowadays than being single and celibate.
- You have no one?
- No.
- Not even a lover?
- No.
- What's wrong with you?
- Nothing.
- Oh here, let me increase your dosage!That's what my life is like, a lit of fun, I tell ya! I have so many interests, I do stuff all the time, I'm NEVER bored (especially now that I'm not depressed anymore). Few people can say that, I consider myself lucky. I don't see a problem in my life, but it does bother most people that I don't fit in the couple-family mold. I'm starting to believe Sartre: "Hell is others." I'm perfectly fine with myself, if only people can let me be.
Posted by cmcdougall on May 2, 2002, at 14:44:46
In reply to Re: unhappy with my doc today » cmcdougall, posted by sid on May 2, 2002, at 12:57:52
> I tend to think: why fix it if it ain't broke? I have a LOT of work ahead of me, in the next couple of months, and I really don't want to mess with dosage changes and side effects if I don't have to.
Makes sense to me!
> > ps. The only time I believe that we should TRY to change is when our behaviors have a negative impact, either in our own lives or someone else's.
>
> I believe that too. I truly think that the best I can be is how I currently am.I am truly impressed. That is wonderful and as long as things are working for you, why pay for therapy? As I posted earlier, I don't get therapy very often, only every 5 or 10 yrs. I go to my pdoc every 3 to 6 months just for med checks.
>From most people's point of view, it's not right to spend your life alone, but from my point of view, it's the right thing to do. My doc apparently belongs to the most-people-club, and she wants me to join it too. It seems to me I'm making a personal choice and it's nobody's business but mine.
I agree. If no one is being hurt, especially you, people should back off. I am 46 years old and have finally learned that having a lot of friends is mostly superficial. It is fine to be acquainted w/ people and have fun with them, but I have learned the hard way that we have only a few "real" friends in our entire life. People come in and out of our experience, but only 2 or 3 will really love us, disregard our flaws, and forgive our foibles.
Perhaps your doc doesn't realize how content you are and how full your life really is. You have explained very clearly to me how you feel, and I had no problem understanding it. IMO, your attitude seems very healthy.
>Geez. I might wanna try being, I don't know, a swinger or something, it is best accepted nowadays than being single and celibate.
Don't go there! Masturbation is safer - Its certainly less work. ;-)
>I have so many interests, I do stuff all the time, I'm NEVER bored (especially now that I'm not depressed anymore). Few people can say that, I consider myself lucky. I don't see a problem in my life, but it does bother most people that I don't fit in the couple-family mold. I'm starting to believe Sartre: "Hell is others." I'm perfectly fine with myself, if only people can let me be.
At your next visit, tell your doctor that you have a wonderful best friend and lover that is committed to you forever. Someone who accepts you the way are and takes good care of you. Someone who supports you and takes you wherever you want to go. Someone who shares all your interests and is committed to your wellbeing. When she express delight, tell her that you are your own best friend and that you are happy and content.
I love myself too, but I don't treat myself as good as I should. I don't take care of myself all the time, but I get great help from this board.
Lots more love and luck,
Carly
Posted by sid on May 2, 2002, at 15:22:05
In reply to I totally agree... » sid, posted by cmcdougall on May 2, 2002, at 14:44:46
Thank you for your reply! Finally someone who does not automatically antagonize me when I say I want to spend my life alone.
Gosh, I'm so tired of peole questioning me about that. Next time I see my doc, I think I'll just tell her it's really none of her business. If she does not like me for my choice, it's her problem, not mine. Do I question her on her personal life? She asks how I am, I say fine, that's pretty much all she needs to know as far as I'm concerned.
Oh, and once more, she tried to convince me that I'm borderline. Borderline people can't stand being alone. Hello.
Now that I think of it, it sounds like it's time for me to look for another doctor. Yuk. I hate switching docs, therapists, etc... What a waste of time.
> I am truly impressed. That is wonderful and as long as things are working for you, why pay for therapy? As I posted earlier, I don't get therapy very often, only every 5 or 10 yrs. I go to my pdoc every 3 to 6 months just for med checks.
I don't do therapy anymore, I go to her (general doc) every 3 weeks to see how I'm doing and adjust meds if needed. Today she started playing therapist and got on my nerves more than anything else.
> I agree. If no one is being hurt, especially you, people should back off.
People constantly try to convince me that I'm hurting myself. "We're being completely inconsiderate and impolite for your own good." That's what hurts - not being accepted! I don't lose sleep over it, but when I go to have lunch with a couple of friends in a restaurant, thinking we'll have lively and interesting conversation, and they won't get off my back about me being single, it does bother me.
> I am 46 years old and have finally learned that having a lot of friends is mostly superficial. It is fine to be acquainted w/ people and have fun with them, but I have learned the hard way that we have only a few "real" friends in our entire life. People come in and out of our experience, but only 2 or 3 will really love us, disregard our flaws, and forgive our foibles.
I do agree. I long for deeper relationships, but I doubt it could be in a romantic setting. I am close to some friends, but I've lived in many countries and they are all over the world. On a day-to-day basis, I don't have anyone, I haven't had in almost 2 years, except my family members, some of whom drive me nuts more often than not. I have one friend left in my hometown and I realized that we're not what I call friends. We have an ongoing twice a year gift exchange (b-day and x-mas), that's pretty much the extent of our relationship. I'm concentrating on my career because it's been delayed by depression and it is urgent that I take care of it, else I will not have a career at all. So I don't go out much, and I'm tired when I do and don't feel like socializing. I'm way past the age where others' expectations dictate what I do, don't do, think, don't think, etc. I won't make make efforts to make friends just because my doc thinks I should. I won't find a boyfriend (where the hell do you find one of those?) just because she thinks I should. And I won't increase my AD dosage just because she does not agree with my lifestyle choices. It sucks that I have no close friends around here, but I'm not going to lose sleep over that either.
> Perhaps your doc doesn't realize how content you are and how full your life really is. You have explained very clearly to me how you feel, and I had no problem understanding it. IMO, your attitude seems very healthy.
I was so happy to have gone to the movies last night - great movie "Monsoon Wedding." I was simply telling her that now that I'm not depressed anymore and that I have more energy, since the dose time switch, I am going out more than before. She started: with whom? Nobody? Why? etc... the interogatory started and I left in tears. Can't even enjoy a movie anymore.
> Don't go there! Masturbation is safer - Its certainly less work. ;-)
:-)
> At your next visit, tell your doctor that you have a wonderful best friend and lover that is committed to you forever. Someone who accepts you the way are and takes good care of you. Someone who supports you and takes you wherever you want to go. Someone who shares all your interests and is committed to your wellbeing. When she express delight, tell her that you are your own best friend and that you are happy and content.That's what I think: as long as you're happy with yourself, you're happy, period. She won't accept that. Anyway, I wasted part of my day being angry and disturbed by all this. I don't even know another doctor I could go to. I might continue with her though - she needs to know that I did not appreciate her little incursion in my personal life.
> I love myself too, but I don't treat myself as good as I should. I don't take care of myself all the time, but I get great help from this board.
I believe it is the work of a lifetime, to learn to take care of oneself first and others second (those we choose to take care of).
> Lots more love and luckYou too!
- sid
Posted by sid on May 2, 2002, at 18:38:01
In reply to Re: I totally agree... » cmcdougall, posted by sid on May 2, 2002, at 15:22:05
I went back to the pharmacy after work and she corrected the prescription to 75mg. That's much better. I can only take so much annoyance from a given person in one day. Gosh I hate this disease.
- sid
Posted by sid on May 2, 2002, at 18:39:29
In reply to I totally agree... » sid, posted by cmcdougall on May 2, 2002, at 14:44:46
> Don't go there! Masturbation is safer - Its certainly less work. ;-)
Well, thanks to Effexor XR's side effects, that's not even an issue. Zero libido. No wonder I couldn't care less about having a boyfriend.
Posted by Marie416 on May 3, 2002, at 13:38:45
In reply to unhappy with my doc today, posted by sid on May 2, 2002, at 10:10:28
I'm sorry to hear that you have such a horrible doc. I know from my experience finding a good one is almost impossible trying to stay within you insurance network. You have every right to stay whatever way you choose, as if that's wrong. Doctors forget we become who we are because of life circumstances. Be true to yourself and find a new doctor. If she did mean to increase your dose without telling you, give her a piece of your mind. That's unfair and unethical. Good luck!!!!
> Not sure where I should post this, so it's here AND on PSB...
>
> Hello all -
> I saw my doc this morning, and she played phsychotherapist. I go to a doc and take drugs precisely because I'm done with psychotherapy - I know myself well, my qualities, my flaws, and I am fine with it all. I am very excentric in one part of my life, and I'm fine with it too, as long as people around me don't bother me, i.e. as long as they accept me and don't make my life hellish. A previous therapist wanted me to change this excentric part of me, which I repeatedly told him I did not want to change, until I stopped seeing him because he was wasting my time and making me feel bad about myself.
>
> Now this doc gets to the same thing: I need to change. She pisses me off, makes me cry, not because it is a sore point, as I told her, but because I feel judged and unaccepted by her, as by most people, unfortunately. I tell her this is the way I am, period. If you can't take it, I'll go to another doc, there's plenty of them. She says fine, but know that whenever you feel like talking about it, I'm open to it. She gives me my prescription and I'm out of there.
>
> I then go to the pharmacy, and oops, she doubled my dose !!! Without discussing it with me !!! She knows I don't like to take meds, I don't want high doses, and because I don't agree with her on what MY lifestyle should be, she increases my dosage. Nice work, doc. Mmmmm. That's why I never wanted to take meds before. I was probably right too.
>
> So I'm currently on 75mg of Effexor XR a day, and I never thought I'd say this, but I'm thinking of quitting cold turkey. I won't do it, I know better, but sdhe can take her increase in dosage and shove it. Nobody treats me like that! I am so furious. I told the pharmacist she made a mistake, that I'm on 75mg a day. She'll call the doc to verify and we'll see. It better be a mistake. I was already unhappy with her services when I got out of there, if she changed the dosage on purpose without discussing it with me, I am not sure what I will do. Probably go see some other doc and taper off ASAP. My sister tried to control me all my life - this doc does not realize how control-resistant I had to become just to survive this far.
This is the end of the thread.
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