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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Pandabear on February 15, 2004, at 13:21:26
I have been posting a lot on here lately and talking of how im depressed and all and lately I have been "up" rather than down and yet today I feel like im starting to go back down. I think its stupid because I can go down at the slightest thing...today, my parents and I went to lunch after church and my mom and I got into an arguement right when we walked into the restaurant. She ended up not talking to me throughout the lunch and treating me like I was lower than dirt. Everytime I would talk she would shut me up by changing the subject and giving some rude remark about how she didnt care about what I was talking about. She was angry with me but I refused to let her get to me because I didnt want to have a cat fight with her..(we are famous for fighting with one another). My mom makes me break out in a rash when we fight because I try and not respond the same way that she responds to me and therefore it is too much for my body and I break out ...isnt that odd. ANYWAY, She completely irritated me and now I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH HER. I dont want to speak to her AT ALL. Our arguement was over the fact that my boss had brought something for me to my house last weekend and even though we visited and I thanked her OVER AND OVER for the things she gave me..my mom was saying that I should write a thank you note. EXCUSE ME but I am 24 almost 25 and I know what is right and wrong. I FIGURED that since she had come to my house and we had talked for a long time..and I thanked her TO HER FACE...that that would be enough. My mom thought differently and therefore made a BIG DEAL about it.
I thought that this lunch wasnt going to effect me but it is. Im so worked up over my mom treating me so weird. I should be used to it. I know she is just being a mother..but no...our relationship is so screwed up. My therapist has told me to distance myself from her but I dont know how to do that without hurting her. She really irritates me and the stress she causes me is not good for me. She doesnt realize that everytime we argue she makes me sad to the point where I can become depressed. I am about to go lay down because i cannot stop thinking about her and this is my only way of escaping her. At the same time, I know that I shouldnt be laying down because that is what will make me more depressed but I just want to shut the world out for a while... I HATE MY RELATIONSHIP WTIH MY MOM. I WANT TO YELL at her and tell her to leave me alone but I have been told by my therapist that the way i have yelled in the past at my mom is considered emotional immaturity. Yes, I do realize that i have this about me but, I need to be heard and it hurts so bad that my mom treats me like she does.
I dont understand at all why it is soooo easy for me to come down from being ok. I woke up this morning feeling down and then once my mom and I argued, it confirmed that i was going down. Does anyone have the same problem that I do? Is it easy for some of you guys to go down from being happy? I JUST GOT OVER BEING DEPRESSED from last weekend..and did well for a week and now here I go again. I told my mom she had no idea what I went through last weekend since she was out of town and she said that she did and that they were living it with me..NO she doesnt know...she wasnt here and she cannot possibly know what I was going through and my exact feelings..I know she was "living" it with me..yet how can she say that she knows how things were for me....geez..she really irritates me. I just wish could know why it is so easy for me to go down so quickly. I do have hypomania but I dont know if this is one of my cycles...going down and then back up so quickly...im so confused. I felt on top of the world this past weekend and now im feeling down so i dont know if this is my hypomania or my depression or if it is just all in my head...i dont know what to do or think anymore im so confused and I feel that no one understands me and that everyone is against me. This site is the only place that I feel like everyone understands me. :(
Posted by crazychickuk on February 15, 2004, at 13:36:22
In reply to Too Easy to become depressed, posted by Pandabear on February 15, 2004, at 13:21:26
Aww panda.... I totally understand you, with mums like that who needs them? I was so glad to have moved out frommy moms house, she so irritated me, and i feel so muh better not being there, we get on sort of ok now since we dont live with eachother.... have you moved out already? if not when you do things will settle down... you also need to TELL her what she has done tell her that what she does to you makes you worse to the point where you are so low you dont know what you will do next.. MAKE her understand, write her a letter if you have too,Is your dad about? step dad? if so can you talk to him? sister/brother? talk to them, they may beable to help you get through to her to stop picking on you, its so frustrating i know i been there, its awfull, WE need our mums to help us through this, we really do.. BUT you need to tell her, you ned to TELL her exactly what she has done/is doing to you.. making you worse is not good, so be honest with her and tell her, dont fight back thats just feeding her, will make things so much worse..
Best of luck..Your friend Donna
Posted by panic_attack on February 15, 2004, at 13:46:31
In reply to Too Easy to become depressed, posted by Pandabear on February 15, 2004, at 13:21:26
Wow, I totally feel you. I have a very complicated relationship with my mom too. I am 23 and I still live with her. If it wasn't for her, I would be homeless or dead. But at the same time, she drives me crazy. All we do is fight. Our whole buidling hates us cuz you can hear us screaming at each other all the time. She has no idea how i feel and the pain and suffering I am going thru. I am so depressed right now, and I am just fed up with life. It is so complicated and then I have to hear her scream and b*tch when she comes home over the stupidest things. Yesterday I almost threw a plate of food in her face, she had me so worked up. A couple years ago, my doctor told me to move out, and stay away from her. She is not helping my anxiety and depression. My doctor even said that she may be the reason for my problems. I love her to death, but she is really driving me insane. But I can't support myself and there is nothing I can do about it :( I have to deal with it. She is never home, works 7 days a week and I only see her late at night. And all we do is fight. So I understand how you feel. It is so hard, the person that you love the most can bring you so down and make you so depressed. You just have to distance yourself from her for awhile. Avoid conflicts, I walk out of the room and just ignore her and end up going out with friends to cheer me up. Anyways, I wish you luck!! The key thing to remember is, avoid conflicts!
Posted by Pandabear on February 15, 2004, at 14:12:37
In reply to Re: Too Easy to become depressed, posted by panic_attack on February 15, 2004, at 13:46:31
Yeah, thanks for responding, I have moved out of my parents house. I moved out after I graduated in 1998 from high school and only moved back home once...for a few weeks...I CANNOT live with my family anymore...once you move out, its pretty much a rule that you will never live with your family again because you get accustomed to your own way of living and moving back under your parents rule is extemely difficult for both you and them. The relationship that my mom and I have is very hard and I can talk to my dad about it but, he is in a hard place because although he understands my frustration and my depression and anxiety issues, he is still needing to support my mom as well and it isnt fair for him to take a side..so it gets hard at times. My sister and I have talked but, she and I are completely different and she is more on my moms side of thinking than I am and so I cannot talk to her much. My therapist wants me to consider family therapy with my mom..(my therapist is a LMFT and although she just sees me ..she would be willing to see my mom and I yet, my mom doesnt want to and I am to scared to try it. My mom has something against therapist and cannot stand mine even though she hasnt met her. I like my therapist better than my mom right now because she completely understands me...I dont think that my relationship with my mom will never be any better...and im starting to become ok with that...even though it depresses me.
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 16, 2004, at 18:57:12
In reply to Re: Too Easy to become depressed, posted by Pandabear on February 15, 2004, at 14:12:37
> Yeah, thanks for responding, I have moved out of my parents house...
Sorry to interrupt, and sorry about your difficulties, but I'd like to redirect this thread to Psycho-Social-Babble. Here's a link:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040209/msgs/314266.html
Thanks,
Bob
This is the end of the thread.
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