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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by anxiety_free on September 17, 2004, at 2:11:31
Hey! I'm a young guy who just moved back home for a short while to attend a local college to up my GPA so I can transfer, get a decent degree, and go to an OK grad school. Problems? I'm lonely. My dad makes a point of disapproving of everything I do. My social anxiety is making it nearly impossible to go to any class...in fact, I just got dropped from one today. So, part of me wants to stay and "fight the good fight", try to get back into that class, take on my dad, etc. Part of me wants to crawl up into my bed and sleep until I'm 30. Realistically, though, what do I do? I have no car or money to buy one..my dad wants me to buy my own car with my own job (there are no jobs within walking distance). My dad's wise investment choices also nearly destroyed my college fund, so I don't have the funds to rent my own place. I'm sick of being lonely, unhappy, and dealing with my dad day in, day out. Any advice? I'd appreciate any input...thanks!
Posted by mcp on September 17, 2004, at 19:03:28
In reply to ANXIETY, family, and misery, posted by anxiety_free on September 17, 2004, at 2:11:31
You probably won't like this, but you probably already know the answer but are looking for validation. Maybe I am wrong. ANyways, one thing I have learned in my journey is trying to avoid pain in the short term only prolongs the agony. If you have a tough choice to make, then make it and stand by your convictions. Sure, it may cause some distress in the short term, but you may be a better person for it in the long run. I hate to speak in general terms here, but I hope you know what I mean. As far as the social anxiety, there are a number of routes. I would always espouse the therapy first route. Another thing I have learned is that by facing your fears over and over again certainly makes them subside in degree. In the meantime, try to link up with that higher power(in my case Jesus CHrist) and if He is truly sought then He WILL give you the strength to face your fears and do the right thing.
> Hey! I'm a young guy who just moved back home for a short while to attend a local college to up my GPA so I can transfer, get a decent degree, and go to an OK grad school. Problems? I'm lonely. My dad makes a point of disapproving of everything I do. My social anxiety is making it nearly impossible to go to any class...in fact, I just got dropped from one today. So, part of me wants to stay and "fight the good fight", try to get back into that class, take on my dad, etc. Part of me wants to crawl up into my bed and sleep until I'm 30. Realistically, though, what do I do? I have no car or money to buy one..my dad wants me to buy my own car with my own job (there are no jobs within walking distance). My dad's wise investment choices also nearly destroyed my college fund, so I don't have the funds to rent my own place. I'm sick of being lonely, unhappy, and dealing with my dad day in, day out. Any advice? I'd appreciate any input...thanks!
Posted by mattw84 on September 17, 2004, at 23:14:41
In reply to ANXIETY, family, and misery, posted by anxiety_free on September 17, 2004, at 2:11:31
I feel for you, in fact I am in a quite similar situation. Fall term starts on the 27th for me. Last term my social phobia got the best of me, didn't go to class... somehow managed to pass but by no means with flying colors. (Also dropped 2 of my 5 classes) I too wanted to just fight through it, but the more I fought it, it only seemed to fight right back that much harder. I gave up the fight this last couple weeks in fear of repeating last term... went to see the doc and have started Xanax treatment for the SA. In the last week I have been truly AMAZED by what an enormous difference it has made for me! 1 week ago I would just assume slept or stayed in all day, except for work. In the last week I have gone out, shopping, talked with neighbors, had conversations with random strangers, etc!! It is truly a whole new me! If you have the means, I highly recommend discussing treatment with a doctor. He may want you to try an SSRI (Effexor, Paxil, Lexapro, etc) which all may work for you. They just typically take a while to notice any changes. If you are in immediate need for changes I would recommend a benzo. Good luck!
Matt
Posted by sunshine211 on September 18, 2004, at 7:12:15
In reply to Re: ANXIETY, family, and misery - Bob redirect??, posted by mattw84 on September 17, 2004, at 23:14:41
we all have family misery! lol. seriously. and with school and having to work through and pay for everything, it is totally stressful. Make a goal. I know it sounds corny, but being so disappointed and let down, you need to do something positive for yourself. No sleeping until you are 30. I thought about it and realized things would get pretty gross after that amount of time. I have been there with you and it gets better.
if things are really tough, try and find a pdoc or therapist. outside insight is REALLY helpful in sorting things out. Check with your college health center. mine offers free sessions with psychologists and something like a $10 fee for pdocs.
In regards to classes/grades, back off and take less. Doing well and realizing it will help you build up to take more. sometimes you just get burnt out.
take care
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