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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by woolav on December 21, 2004, at 18:00:40
Hello all, I have been fighting depression for years and every time i think things are getting better or my life is going in the right direction, something happens and i just cant take it anymore. I am on meds, and do well sometime, but the dreaded reaper always seems to come sneaking back...I guess so ppl just cant handle life and i may be one of them. I know its the easy way out, but in a sense i understand why ppl do it. they cant deal with it anymore.
i dont know anymore..........................
sandy
Posted by jujube on December 21, 2004, at 18:28:06
In reply to help, dont want to be here anymore........, posted by woolav on December 21, 2004, at 18:00:40
Sandy,
I am sorry to hear that you are going through a bad time right now. Are there things you can change about your current situation that may alleviate some of the pain you are experiencing? Sometimes it's a matter of getting out from underneath it all, and giving ourselves some space and peace and quiet to deal with the demons that our haunting us. Perhaps you can take some time for yourself (a couple of weeks away from home with a trusted friend or family member). Don't give up hope. I have seen what a good and generous friend you have been to others on the board, and that is truly a gift that you have and share with others. I hope that you will keep that in mind when you go through your dark periods - there are people who care about you, and even depression can not take that reality away.
Please take good care of yourself. My thoughts are with you.
Tamara
> Hello all, I have been fighting depression for years and every time i think things are getting better or my life is going in the right direction, something happens and i just cant take it anymore. I am on meds, and do well sometime, but the dreaded reaper always seems to come sneaking back...I guess so ppl just cant handle life and i may be one of them. I know its the easy way out, but in a sense i understand why ppl do it. they cant deal with it anymore.
> i dont know anymore..........................
> sandy
Posted by woolav on December 21, 2004, at 20:13:03
In reply to Re: help, dont want to be here anymore........ » woolav, posted by jujube on December 21, 2004, at 18:28:06
Thanks for your kind thoughts. I just feel like i cant get away from the demons of my past. I have alot of issues that no one understands. My father is dying, my daughter is growing up. I feel like when he is gone, and my daughter is off in college, i wont have 1 reason to stay here. I know i have to fight this, but its sooo hard. My grandmother killed herself when i was 2, and I never understood why she would do that to her family, but i do understand and that is what scares me now....
I will try to hold on and keep fighting though.
hugs. sandy
Posted by jujube on December 21, 2004, at 20:29:40
In reply to Re: help, dont want to be here... jujube......., posted by woolav on December 21, 2004, at 20:13:03
I know that anything I say will seem hollow, but I do want to say that what we did in the past is in the past, and we should be able to forgive ourselves for our mistakes and move on from them. I know that is easier said than done, and I don't want to offend you or come across as trying to tell you what to do. It may be just me, but I find it is usually the kind, gentle souls who have a healthy and maybe overactive conscience, that seem most unable to forgive themselves. Forgiveness is part of the healing process, and, IMOH, you owe to yourself (nobody else) to let go of any self-loathing you have been harbouring. We are all worthy of love and respect, and the feeling of being needed and appreciated. And, even though your daughter is going off to college, she is still going to need her mom. The relationship may evolve somewhat, but a daughter always needs her mother. I moved out of the house when I was 18, but I have always stayed close to both of my parents (wasn't easy with my dad at first because of history), and feel that, as an adult, I have a friendship with my mom that is probably one of the most important friendships in my life.
Please take good care of yourself. If you need to talk, don't hesitate to babblemail me.
Tamara
> Thanks for your kind thoughts. I just feel like i cant get away from the demons of my past. I have alot of issues that no one understands. My father is dying, my daughter is growing up. I feel like when he is gone, and my daughter is off in college, i wont have 1 reason to stay here. I know i have to fight this, but its sooo hard. My grandmother killed herself when i was 2, and I never understood why she would do that to her family, but i do understand and that is what scares me now....
> I will try to hold on and keep fighting though.
> hugs. sandy
Posted by anastasia56 on December 21, 2004, at 20:44:48
In reply to Re: help, dont want to be here... jujube....... » woolav, posted by jujube on December 21, 2004, at 20:29:40
i agree with jujube. your daughter will always need you. i have read your posts in the past and you have been a huge help to a lot of people. they need you too.
are you unhappy due to depression or is it your path in life?
anastasia
Posted by beppe on December 22, 2004, at 5:09:53
In reply to help, dont want to be here anymore........, posted by woolav on December 21, 2004, at 18:00:40
i know how you feel i think about it a least once a day but do u have any loved ones? i just think of how bad it would hurt my family and friends and then they would feel as misrable as we do... i know i would never wish this pain on anyone.....
Posted by woolav on December 22, 2004, at 17:44:57
In reply to Re: help, dont want to be here anymore........ » woolav, posted by beppe on December 22, 2004, at 5:09:53
I guess its the depression that just takes over my brain sometimes. I hate feeling the way i do and i feel like no medication will ever help me forever. I have been depressed for so many years now, (thought it was situational) but changed my life and boom its still here. I feel like normal ppl have thoughts of a future and what they want to see or do in life and most of the time i think of just "disappearing" - I used to think that God gave me my daughter so I wouldnt end up doing something bad to myself. I know i have to get through this, but it seems more frequent that I am having these thoughts...
Posted by jujube on December 28, 2004, at 18:12:32
In reply to help, dont want to be here anymore........, posted by woolav on December 21, 2004, at 18:00:40
This is the end of the thread.
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