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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on May 22, 2007, at 13:10:28
At first I was terrified to ask my pdoc about klonopin. He has written me 3 Rx in the last 6 mos or so. I take about .5mg-1.5mg on bad days, and try to convince myself that I don't need it on regular days.
The problem is that I don't know what a regular day feels like anymore.
For those of you that don't know me well (because I usually post elsewhere), I've just finished up my dissertation, and can't seem to calm down. I haven't been eating well, or sleeping well, unless I am with friends.
I am scared for my upcoming move, and have a lot to worry about. Mostly the prospect of having to find a mini-job until I can apply for post-docs with a somewhat clearer mind, and an idea of what I want to do.
So, I'm wrapping things up with my pdoc, who has been very supportive and flexible and available and moving to a new area, where I don't know any pdocs (although I have interviews with a few T's in the area). I'm scared of what it will be like without a new pdoc.
Will current pdoc Rx me klonopin for the summer? Will my klonopin run out before I find a new pdoc (or even a GP, for that matter?).
And now the piece de resistance- why am I SO resistant to taking klonopin. One of the reasons is that I don't like the fact that it takes away my ability to be vigilant of my surroundings. muffled's right. Some of us abuse caffeine in order to feel "on edge".
The edge is familiar, but the consequences may be scary. On one side is incapacitating general anxiety and acute anxiety and panic. On the other side is the feeling of not being part of this world because I am not aware of the minutiae of those events around us.
Falling off either side of the edge could lead to bad consequences. Get too panicked and I shut down all systems and get really depressed. Get too sedated and I'm tempted to withdraw and get depressed too. And don't even mention the dissociative trances that happen when I'm in terror (which is far too often) or when I experience an extreme emotion or something that hits too close to sensitive spot.
Sorry for such a long post. Just thought it might be relevant to have a full psychological report, rather than a run-down of current meds and current symptoms.
-Ll
Posted by Phillipa on May 22, 2007, at 15:08:00
In reply to Non-compliance with klonopin, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on May 22, 2007, at 13:10:28
Lurpsie take the klonopin. I can't stress that more strongly knowing your history. It will be available as long as you need it. Stop fighting your docs orders. You've been such a compliant patient so far and look what you accomplished? Love Phillipa
Posted by lcat10 on May 22, 2007, at 20:45:24
In reply to Non-compliance with klonopin, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on May 22, 2007, at 13:10:28
Falling off either side of the edge could lead to bad consequences. Get too panicked and I shut down all systems and get really depressed. Get too sedated and I'm tempted to withdraw and get depressed too. And don't even mention the dissociative trances that happen when I'm in terror (which is far too often) or when I experience an extreme emotion or something that hits too close to sensitive spot.
LurpsieNoodle
I would suggest that you talk about the above you wrote with you pdoc. What you write are things to talk about with your pdoc and are not things to ignore or things to just go along with to be the nice compliant patient and then start to feel annoyed, angry, whatever. Talk about it. Most pdocs are good about this. lcat10
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on May 22, 2007, at 21:56:32
In reply to Re: Non-compliance with klonopin, posted by lcat10 on May 22, 2007, at 20:45:24
> Falling off either side of the edge could lead to bad consequences. Get too panicked and I shut down all systems and get really depressed. Get too sedated and I'm tempted to withdraw and get depressed too. And don't even mention the dissociative trances that happen when I'm in terror (which is far too often) or when I experience an extreme emotion or something that hits too close to sensitive spot.
>
> LurpsieNoodle
>
> I would suggest that you talk about the above you wrote with you pdoc. What you write are things to talk about with your pdoc and are not things to ignore or things to just go along with to be the nice compliant patient and then start to feel annoyed, angry, whatever. Talk about it. Most pdocs are good about this. lcat10
>
>
Thanks 1cat10,
As it turns out I sent pdoc a long email about this stuff earlier today. he already replied. We'll talk about it at my next appt. in 2 weeks. until then...well. I'll be lucky if I can stay compliant with eating. I feel so dimwitted with not enough food in me. I guess I should stop now. not making any sense to myself. my moment of clarity has passed.-Ll
Posted by lcat10 on May 22, 2007, at 22:35:59
In reply to Re: Non-compliance with klonopin » lcat10, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on May 22, 2007, at 21:56:32
It's okay; could your pdoc see you sooner? Does you pdoc know how awful you feel? No shame in letting this person know. We all have our really bad times. Two weeks is way too long to wait it seems for as badly as you are feeling.
lcat10
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on May 22, 2007, at 23:21:17
In reply to Re: Non-compliance with klonopin » LlurpsieNoodle, posted by lcat10 on May 22, 2007, at 22:35:59
he said i should wait it out for another week and then check back in with him to see how lamictal was treating me- we just increased my dose.
I'm perfectly capable of making myself go crazy. it wouldn't take much at this point. But I have to keep going. not a lot of options, really.
so, I guess, in the spirit of not going insane, I should munch on the klonopin. Just like I should be eating and sleeping. sh*t. T on thursday. I might give T a call tomorrow if I have another day spending 9 hours in bed, feeling like utter hell.
thanks for understanding, and no, I am not ashamed of letting pdoc know how crappy I feel. Except for one looming thing. next appt. is my last with this pdoc. I've been with him for well over a year, a big year for me.
I'm so sad to have to say goodbye. really really sad...
Posted by lcat10 on May 23, 2007, at 12:02:42
In reply to Re: Non-compliance with klonopin » lcat10, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on May 22, 2007, at 23:21:17
<thanks for understanding, and no, I am not ashamed of letting pdoc know how crappy I feel. Except for one looming thing. next appt. is my last with this pdoc. I've been with him for well over a year, a big year for me.
I'm so sad to have to say goodbye. really really sad... >
This is a big reason why you feel like crap. When someone has been helpful and understanding and then you have to say goodbye, it feels awful. And this has been a big year for you. If you are leaving the area to go to a new area where you do not know anyone, that will contribute to the unsettling feelings as well. Has you pdoc been able to help with a referral to someone else where you are going? I would hope so. Take care.
lcat10
This is the end of the thread.
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