![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by ksvt on January 30, 2001, at 12:52:37
I think everthing with Name has been blown way out of proportion and I think it could have been avoided if you could have found another way to respond to Cam's post (if you really felt a response was necessary) short of the dreaded "please be civil." I think Name's posts would have gone largely ignored or unresponded to if your post had not appeared to put Cam's participation on this board in jeopardy. It forced people to take sides and to ferret out the injustice of taking Cam to task but not taking Name to task.
The easy answer here is that neither really was out of line, or at least not so out of line so as to merit your admonishment. I think people are a bit offended by Name's
posts because his very analytical, exhaustive and impersonal style does not really seem to take into account those who are most likely to read his posts. (I think he's actually writing these to you and to no one else) Since he, in a very myopic way, refuses to acknowledge the benefits of this site to its many repeat users, he seems to draw an inference that we can't help but find a little insulting - ie that we're all too stupid to factor in the negatives or risks of internet self help groups when we endorse our own continued use of the board. It's as if he refuses to hear the other side and since the other side is the collective "us" what does that say about "us."I can understand your not seeing his comments as not being civil - if you can manage to distill what he writes (no mean feat) he does have an interesting point or two to make and as Mark observes, there is no value to stifling all discourse, even though some of it may be a tad sharp. However, Cam's points were valid also, if expressed more emotionally (and how could they not be?).
I personally feel, and have said before, that your trigger finger is a bit quick. Maybe you need to take a deep breath before you admonish folks to see if what appears to be an issue really just dies. If there are situations where you feel your intervention is needed but in which you don't really want to escalate warfare, maybe you can come up with words that fall short of the ones that you use when you're putting someone on notice that they've taken their last false step. JMHO ksvt
Posted by Dr. Bob on January 31, 2001, at 0:20:17
In reply to Dr. Bob - you started this..., posted by ksvt on January 30, 2001, at 12:52:37
> I think Name's posts would have gone largely ignored or unresponded to if your post had not appeared to put Cam's participation on this board in jeopardy. It forced people to take sides and to ferret out the injustice of taking Cam to task but not taking Name to task.
Nobody was forced to take a side, but that did happen, and has made the situation more difficult to resolve...
> (I think he's actually writing these to you and to no one else)
Interesting theory, but I don't know, wouldn't it be easier just to email me? :-)
> Since he, in a very myopic way, refuses to acknowledge the benefits of this site to its many repeat users, he seems to draw an inference that we can't help but find a little insulting - ie that we're all too stupid to factor in the negatives or risks of internet self help groups when we endorse our own continued use of the board.
Hmm...
> I personally feel, and have said before, that your trigger finger is a bit quick. Maybe you need to take a deep breath before you admonish folks to see if what appears to be an issue really just dies.
After not checking in for a while, it is in fact wonderful to see a problem arise and then just die or, even better, be resolved. But I think I'd rather be too quick than not quick enough. And it's a given that I'm going to be one or the other...
Bob
Posted by willow on February 1, 2001, at 8:04:53
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob - you started this..., posted by Dr. Bob on January 31, 2001, at 0:20:17
KSVT makes an excellent point. I've taught my children to count to ten, even a hundred. Also, that they can't govern another's thoughts and it is okay not to agree. And if this doesn't work it takes less effort to remove oneself from the situation them to try and move someone else.
I think it's up to each individual to weigh which fights are worth fighting.
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 1, 2001, at 23:39:22
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob - you started this..., posted by willow on February 1, 2001, at 8:04:53
> I think it's up to each individual to weigh which fights are worth fighting.
I agree, but there shouldn't be fights here at all! :-)
Bob
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Administration | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.