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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 26. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by beardedlady on April 7, 2003, at 18:54:18
Will someone please explain to me what happened?
Here's what I see:
Someone wrote a post asking for help because she was addicted to war coverage. She couldn't get going or motivated to do anything and would just sit all day watching the war. I suggested she use the telly as a reward for getting other things done. She absolutely couldn't watch the war coverage unless she accomplished certain things, and then she could allow herself a little bit of time, but she'd have to do other things to get more time.Oddipus Rex posted something to me that wasn't exactly kind. How could I call watching the war a reward, she wanted to know. It's as if her radar zoomed in on a word without zooming in on a context.
A week or so later, on PB, I was talking about how people who are crying for help will usually leave clues about suicide or talk about plans for it. I mentioned that my neighbor didn't do those things, but she tried it in her house and left the stereo blasting so someone would have to come in. I added something to the effect of, "Of course, she tried it with Tylenol." My meaning was that she wouldn't die quickly, so the girl's mom would find her when her mom got home from work.
Oddipus posted that she didn't know what I was "implying" with that "comment."
Now she posts on PBA that she's looking for an apology from Dr. Bob, a man who never apologizes. I'm with her on this, of course. So I say, "You're kidding, right?" because none of us has ever seen Bob go back on or apologize for a PBA or a comment he's made.
And then I'M told not to post to HER again.
Maybe I'm the one who doesn't get it. Here I am thinking she constantly accuses me of having some other meaning, of being underhanded, of being a cheerleader for televised death, of who knows what with Tylenol, and now I'M being told to lay off.
Go figure.
beardy
Posted by Dinah on April 7, 2003, at 19:22:01
In reply to I don't get it. Will someone explain?, posted by beardedlady on April 7, 2003, at 18:54:18
Ahhh Beardy. This is why I had reservations about this policy. It hurts. (Of course, I think it hurts Lou too.)
I think it needs some tweaking before implementation.
You know, I really greatly admire Oddipus.
I think there's just been some misunderstanding. It happens. As I said before, I think you sometimes get the idea that I'm mad at you or dislike you, when I really am not, and do not. It would be very hurtful to me if you were to say you never wanted to hear from me again, when I'm pretty sure that things could be worked out.
And I'm sure things could be worked out between you and Oddipus too, should you both be willing.
I hate misunderstandings and needless pain. On both sides.
Posted by fayeroe on April 7, 2003, at 19:22:33
In reply to I don't get it. Will someone explain?, posted by beardedlady on April 7, 2003, at 18:54:18
beardy, dear, some things are best left unexplained because there is no rationale for them. see you later! pat
Posted by beardedlady on April 7, 2003, at 19:31:20
In reply to Re: I don't get it. Will someone explain? » beardedlady, posted by Dinah on April 7, 2003, at 19:22:01
It doesn't hurt my feelings. I don't have any. It does boggle my mind, but that kinda feels good.
I don't think of you as the kind of person who gets mad at someone. You have the patience of a saint. That's what makes you you. And though we disagree on a lot of things, it doesn't make either of us bad people.
But I'm also perfectly comfortable with the fact that some people don't get along and don't belong in the same cage.
This lab rat is outta here. I don't like cages. But I do like to have fun and laugh. It's a shame when even that is forbidden around here.
beardy
Posted by Dinah on April 7, 2003, at 19:38:53
In reply to Don't worry. » Dinah, posted by beardedlady on April 7, 2003, at 19:31:20
I really really am.
Of course you have feelings. I've seen them hurt before??
And I do hope you weren't referring to me in the cage reference. Just because we disagree about many things doesn't mean I don't enjoy a lot of things about you too, and always have.
(My head is cocked to one side in a very perplexed way. I want to give a clear indication of my lack of understanding.)
Are you saying you're leaving Babble? Laughing and having fun is very much encouraged here. Oh, oh, my head is spinning.
Sometimes I wonder how on earth things happen.
Posted by beardedlady on April 7, 2003, at 19:46:29
In reply to Re: I'm totally confused » beardedlady, posted by Dinah on April 7, 2003, at 19:38:53
Will probably get (happily) blocked anyway. I wasn't speaking of you with my cage reference. This is an experiment, and we're all lab rats. Some disagree, and that's O.K. It's when they start to bite that it's time to break out.
beardy
Posted by Dreamerz on April 7, 2003, at 19:55:45
In reply to No, not you. Yes, leaving. » Dinah, posted by beardedlady on April 7, 2003, at 19:46:29
...experiment , we are all rats-mere humans~being human...best not to think..encourages the mental torture..
Administration Street.
Posted by Dinah on April 7, 2003, at 19:57:18
In reply to No, not you. Yes, leaving. » Dinah, posted by beardedlady on April 7, 2003, at 19:46:29
Until you learn to appreciate each other?
Posted by beardedlady on April 7, 2003, at 20:03:37
In reply to Re: Can't I lock you two in a room?, posted by Dinah on April 7, 2003, at 19:57:18
We are already locked in a room. And it is perfectly O.K. for people not to like each other. It doesn't bother me. You shouldn't let it bother you.
I am a happy girl. I like my life. I'm going to put my little sweetie to bed, brush my teeth, get in the tub, and read my good book. And then I am going to snuggle up next to my husband (until he starts snoring, at which time I'll go into the guest room to sleep until morning!).
I hope you all have a wonderful night.
beardy : )>
Posted by Dinah on April 7, 2003, at 20:07:05
In reply to Dinah the peacemaker » Dinah, posted by beardedlady on April 7, 2003, at 20:03:37
I'm glad we seem to be ok again. It *may* be ok for people to dislike each other, but it stinks to feel like someone you like is mad at you.
Posted by beardedlady on April 7, 2003, at 20:09:12
In reply to Re: Well.... » beardedlady, posted by Dinah on April 7, 2003, at 20:07:05
I can't make a beard up there. : )>
Posted by noa on April 7, 2003, at 21:07:18
In reply to Dinah the peacemaker » Dinah, posted by beardedlady on April 7, 2003, at 20:03:37
Beardy, I hope you stick around here. I'd miss you.
Maybe I have to concede something to Dr. Bob--that he could have been right about how hot the war issue is, that it would be hard to have civil conversations about it? Perhaps I underestimated its power.
What if, before deciding to go, you had that goodnight and that bath, and gave it a little time?
Posted by Dr. Bob on April 7, 2003, at 21:42:59
In reply to I don't get it. Will someone explain?, posted by beardedlady on April 7, 2003, at 18:54:18
> It's as if her radar zoomed in on a word without zooming in on a context.
>
> Maybe I'm the one who doesn't get it. Here I am thinking she constantly accuses me of having some other meaning, of being underhanded, of being a cheerleader for televised death, of who knows what with Tylenol, and now I'M being told to lay off.Please be sensitive to the feelings even if yours are hurt. And please don't post anything that could lead them to feel accused or put down. It tends to be more civil to talk about how you feel than what someone else did, ie, to use "I-statements". Thanks,
Bob
Posted by shar on April 7, 2003, at 21:54:49
In reply to Re: I don't get it. Will someone explain? » beardedlady, posted by Dinah on April 7, 2003, at 19:22:01
> Ahhh Beardy. This is why I had reservations about this policy. It hurts. (Of course, I think it hurts Lou too.)
>
> I think it needs some tweaking before implementation........Dinah,
.......This policy will self-tweak and get worked out just like it's happening here. I didn't get the impression that Beardy was hurt, just rather agog and/or maybe exasperated at OR's take on things........I would vote for leaving it as is. If OR doesn't want Beardy's wonderful wit and wisdom, it's OR's loss.
......Beardy, correct me if I'm wrong about you feeling hurt (I know, I know, I didn't really even have to ask...).
......Shar who favors the option to say buzz off (but in a more civil manner)
>
> You know, I really greatly admire Oddipus.
>
> I think there's just been some misunderstanding. It happens. As I said before, I think you sometimes get the idea that I'm mad at you or dislike you, when I really am not, and do not. It would be very hurtful to me if you were to say you never wanted to hear from me again, when I'm pretty sure that things could be worked out.
>
> And I'm sure things could be worked out between you and Oddipus too, should you both be willing.
>
> I hate misunderstandings and needless pain. On both sides.
Posted by Dinah on April 7, 2003, at 22:00:36
In reply to Re: I don't get it. Will someone explain? » Dinah, posted by shar on April 7, 2003, at 21:54:49
Well, I would be terribly hurt if someone told me to buzz off, no matter how politely.
And I find it remarkable that others wouldn't be.
Dinah... who prefers to work out misunderstandings, even with temporary tense silences, and gradual warming trends
Posted by Krissy P on April 8, 2003, at 1:54:19
In reply to Re: Well.... » beardedlady, posted by Dinah on April 7, 2003, at 20:07:05
Posted by Krissy P on April 8, 2003, at 1:55:10
In reply to Re: Dinah the peacemaker, posted by noa on April 7, 2003, at 21:07:18
Posted by leapingtall on April 9, 2003, at 11:47:19
In reply to Re: I don't get it. Will someone explain? » beardedlady, posted by Dinah on April 7, 2003, at 19:22:01
Posted by Dinah on April 9, 2003, at 13:10:45
In reply to you sleepin with bob dinah? (nm), posted by leapingtall on April 9, 2003, at 11:47:19
Posted by bobby on April 9, 2003, at 13:37:07
In reply to Re: why do ya think he's smilin Kristen (nm) » leapingtall, posted by Dinah on April 9, 2003, at 13:10:45
Posted by Dinah on April 9, 2003, at 13:47:45
In reply to you sleepin with bob dinah? (nm), posted by leapingtall on April 9, 2003, at 11:47:19
It seems like you're feeling pretty upset. I had an emergency appointment with my therapist this morning and it really helped. Do you have someone in real life that you might be able to call?
And if it's none of my business, I'm sorry for intruding.
Posted by bobby on April 9, 2003, at 13:54:07
In reply to Re: Seriously Kristen, posted by Dinah on April 9, 2003, at 13:47:45
I gotta hand it to you Dinah---you are too kind and understanding...In a good way
Posted by Ron Hill on April 9, 2003, at 14:12:13
In reply to Re: why do ya think he's smilin Kristen (nm) » leapingtall, posted by Dinah on April 9, 2003, at 13:10:45
I'm always the last one to figure this stuff out and I don't like being so slow. How'd ya do it?
-- Ron
Posted by Dinah on April 9, 2003, at 14:21:39
In reply to Dinah, how'd you know that leapingtall is Kristen? » Dinah, posted by Ron Hill on April 9, 2003, at 14:12:13
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030407/msgs/217783.html
Posted by Dinah on April 9, 2003, at 14:23:29
In reply to Double go Dinah!, posted by bobby on April 9, 2003, at 13:54:07
I felt an awful lot like Kristen does now, last night. I don't know when hubby will give me back computer power cord. :((
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