Shown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by wendy b. on June 23, 2003, at 8:10:10
In reply to Re: please be civil » wendy b. » zenhussy, posted by Dr. Bob on June 23, 2003, at 4:40:06
Sorry, Bob, but I can't help but feel put down and maligned by that post. I know Dinah feels she would never ever do that, but if you read the entire exchange again, including the one on Admin over this topic, you might see that I was not uncivil in attributing these intentions to Dinah.
And it doesn't matter if she says she wouldn't do such a thing. She did do it. And then retracted a whole line of thought over anonymous posters, after hurting some genuine feelings.
It's not just a matter of "You read it one way, I read it another." Sometimes things are either calculated to assuage pain, or they are calculated to cause more.
As for Zenhussy's post, I'm sure she will say more, but I don't see anything more accusatory in Zenhussy's than in Dinah's:
("To speak of private matters in a public setting, in such a way that deliberately excludes others, that I would not do. To be proud of it.... That I do not even understand.")I'm sorry you felt that I expressed something inappropriate, and the intention was only to explain how it felt to me. I hope you did see my "I" statements... (Block if you must, it's probably time to bow out for a while, anyway.)
My apologies to you, Bob. It's a difficult job.
Wendy
______________> > > To speak of private matters in a public setting, in such a way that deliberately excludes others, that I would not do. To be proud of it.... That I do not even understand.
> >
> > this seems calculated to make SOMEBODY feel badly
> >
> > Wendy
>
> Please don't jump to conclusions about others.
>
> > I am baffled by the open arms and slobbery kisses offered up to some and the cold suspicious shoulder shown to others.
> >
> > There are many people here who have shown extreme kindness and empathy to almost anyone who comes to this space and to see those very same people shun a suicidal gal breaks my heart.
> >
> > zh
>
> Or post anything that could lead others to feel accused.
>
> Bob
>
> PS: Follow-ups regarding posting policies, and complaints about posts, should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration, thanks.
Posted by zenhussy on June 23, 2003, at 10:11:43
In reply to Re: please be civil - me and zenhussy » Dr. Bob, posted by wendy b. on June 23, 2003, at 8:10:10
wendy b.--->>Sorry, Bob, but I can't help but feel put down and maligned by that post. I know Dinah feels she would never ever do that, but if you read the entire exchange again, including the one on Admin over this topic, you might see that I was not uncivil in attributing these intentions to Dinah.
And it doesn't matter if she says she wouldn't do such a thing. She did do it. And then retracted a whole line of thought over anonymous posters, after hurting some genuine feelings.
It's not just a matter of "You read it one way, I read it another." Sometimes things are either calculated to assuage pain, or they are calculated to cause more.
______________
Dinah -->> To speak of private matters in a public setting, in such a way that deliberately excludes others, that I would not do. To be proud of it.... That I do not even understand.
wendy b. -->>> this seems calculated to make SOMEBODY feel badly> > > Wendy
Dr. Bob -->>> Please don't jump to conclusions about others.zenhussy -->> I am baffled by the open arms and slobbery kisses offered up to some and the cold suspicious shoulder shown to others.
> > > There are many people here who have shown extreme kindness and empathy to almost anyone who comes to this space and to see those very same people shun a suicidal gal breaks my heart.
> > > zhDr. Bob-->>> Or post anything that could lead others to feel accused.
> > Bob
> > PS: Follow-ups regarding posting policies, and complaints about posts, should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration, thanks.Dr. Bob,
So when wendy b. and I feel accused of something written by any other poster on these boards it isn't important enough to merit a pbc or please rephrase that but when we express our opinions regarding what wendy b. has so eloquently stated above we're the ones being told to be civil?
I truly do not understand the rhyme or reasons behind how certain posters "appear" to be allowed to post as they please, accusations and all, while others type a word or two and are immediately pbc'd.
Very confused about your policies,
zenhussy
Posted by fayeroe on June 23, 2003, at 21:54:21
In reply to when a spade is a spade---Dr. Bob , posted by zenhussy on June 23, 2003, at 10:11:43
zenhussy, you can always do what a few of us did. impose "self-blocks" and go about our lives away from this board. it's alot healthier that way.
good luck. p.s. you'll never understand what goes on here.........
Posted by zenhussy on June 23, 2003, at 22:20:38
In reply to Re: when a spade is a spade---Dr. Bob » zenhussy, posted by fayeroe on June 23, 2003, at 21:54:21
> zenhussy, you can always do what a few of us did. impose "self-blocks" and go about our lives away from this board. it's alot healthier that way.
> good luck. p.s. you'll never understand what goes on here.........I am not one who feels the need to file an adverse event report. I am able to disengage from this board when necessary for my own health.
Would you please restate or clarify your comment here: p.s. you'll never understand what goes on here.........
as it could be in violation of Dr. Bob's civility policy.Thank you and nice to see your name again after so long away. I thought you had gone off to another board. Welcome back.
zh
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 24, 2003, at 3:11:14
In reply to Re: please be civil - me and zenhussy » Dr. Bob, posted by wendy b. on June 23, 2003, at 8:10:10
> Sorry, Bob, but I can't help but feel put down and maligned by that post.
Because she said she wouldn't do something, or didn't even understand feeling a certain way, herself?
> My apologies to you, Bob. It's a difficult job.
Thanks, it can be, but somebody has to do it...
Bob
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 24, 2003, at 3:23:44
In reply to when a spade is a spade---Dr. Bob , posted by zenhussy on June 23, 2003, at 10:11:43
> So when wendy b. and I feel accused of something written by any other poster on these boards it isn't important enough to merit a pbc or please rephrase that
Sorry, in what post did you feel accused of what?
> but when we express our opinions regarding what wendy b. has so eloquently stated above we're the ones being told to be civil?
Depending on what opinions you express and how you express them, yes, I might ask you to be civil. Two wrongs don't make a right...
> Very confused about your policies
Sorry about not being able to spell them out any better. This isn't always easy, and I know I'm not perfect...
Bob
Posted by wendy b. on June 24, 2003, at 7:36:31
In reply to Re: feel put down » wendy b., posted by Dr. Bob on June 24, 2003, at 3:11:14
> > Sorry, Bob, but I can't help but feel put down and maligned by that post.
>
> Because she said she wouldn't do something, or didn't even understand feeling a certain way, herself?Well, that's pretty close... What she says she wouldn't do, I didn't do ("To speak of private matters in a public setting, in such a way that deliberately excludes others..."). I simply said I knew Sphynx personally; it was jumping to a conclusion to say I was therefore "excluding" others.
And then, after coming to the conclusion that I was deliberately excluding others because I knew the circumstances of ONE PERSON (a non-sequitor), she comes to another conclusion, saying that I am "proud of it." And that is just false.
I was offering SUPPORT to Sphynx, and information to those who felt concern for Sphynx. And pointing out that Sphynx's cry for help was not, as others had implied, some kind of hoax, or toying with people's heads.
So, it was difficult to understand the sentence: "That I would never do," "THAT" being some kind of exclusionary behavior on my part, and also, as I said, based on an incorrect assumption.But Dinah now says I am reading my own meaning into the entire exchange, and that she will not read my posts. So it's hard to have meaningful dialogue in this kind of milieu.
> > My apologies to you, Bob. It's a difficult job.
>
> Thanks, it can be, but somebody has to do it...Or just bail on the whole thing! Seriously, I can't say I'd blame you if you did.
:-]
Merci,
Wendy
Posted by Dinah on June 24, 2003, at 7:55:07
In reply to Re: feel put down » Dr. Bob, posted by wendy b. on June 24, 2003, at 7:36:31
To be honest, Wendy, that statement didn't refer to you or your actions. If you assumed I did, I'm sorry. But after that April incident, I felt it was better not to explain too much. And I still feel that way, so I'm not going to explain further. I made myself exceedingly vulnerable that time, and the results were not stellar. So this time I am feeling more self protective.
And for the record, I didn't say I wouldn't read any of your posts. I said I wasn't going to closely examine one particular post that seemed likely to upset me.
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 24, 2003, at 16:37:21
In reply to Re: feel put down » Dr. Bob, posted by wendy b. on June 24, 2003, at 7:36:31
> > > Sorry, Bob, but I can't help but feel put down and maligned by that post.
> >
> > Because she said she wouldn't do something, or didn't even understand feeling a certain way, herself?
>
> Well, that's pretty close... What she says she wouldn't do, I didn't do ... And then, ... she comes to another conclusion, saying that I am "proud of it." And that is just false.So then it was more that you felt accused of doing something and feeling a certain way that you actually didn't?
Bob
Posted by wendy b. on June 25, 2003, at 10:16:08
In reply to Re: feel put down » wendy b., posted by Dr. Bob on June 24, 2003, at 16:37:21
> > > > Sorry, Bob, but I can't help but feel put down and maligned by that post.
> > >
> > > Because she said she wouldn't do something, or didn't even understand feeling a certain way, herself?
> >
> > Well, that's pretty close... What she says she wouldn't do, I didn't do ... And then, ... she comes to another conclusion, saying that I am "proud of it." And that is just false.
>
> So then it was more that you felt accused of doing something and feeling a certain way that you actually didn't?
Yes, Bob, this is pretty close. But Dinah says she wasn't talking about me at all (!) and it's all my projection onto what she said, so, now it's just become totally moot. Which also feels bad, for some reason. I feel strongly if it wasn't ME, then I'd like to know who it was. Since I'm the only one who posted that I knew Sphynx personally, it's hard to understand who she could have been referring to.
But - whatever.I am glad you took the time to try to see my point of view, in any case. It makes me feel a bit better...
Best wishes to you Bob,
Wendy
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 25, 2003, at 11:48:17
In reply to Re: feel put down » Dr. Bob, posted by wendy b. on June 25, 2003, at 10:16:08
> Best wishes to you Bob,
Likewise Wendy,
Bob
This is the end of the thread.
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