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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by henrietta on October 29, 2004, at 18:58:55
Go out and do something imp0ortant, for x's sake:
teach an illiterate child, drive a voter to the polls, feed a homeless person, build a house for Habitat for Humanity , write a letter to the FCC about Sinclair Broadcasting--anything but this absurd diversion, this ... this...... within the civility rules I cannot even name it. Months of your lives, days of your lives, hours of your lives are being spent on THIS? On Psychobabble Administration???? On 3 post rules? This distraction from what is important in the world and in yourselves? Please stop and think. Your time can be better spent elsewhere. And so can mine. Adio-f'in-os.
Posted by Gabbix2 on October 29, 2004, at 20:43:22
In reply to STOP, posted by henrietta on October 29, 2004, at 18:58:55
> Go out and do something imp0ortant, for x's sake:
This is an on-line community not a board game, the support given here is crucial to many, a life-line, and therefore administration of this site *is* important. Each post is written by a person, a person with pain as real as someone who needs help being driven to the polls.
>hours of your lives are being spent on THIS? On Psychobabble Administration???? On 3 post rules? This distraction from what is important in the world and in yourselves?
I can't understand why you would make the assumption that the caring and empathy shown by the posters here is limited to their actions on the board. I know at least two posters who do advocate for the homeless, and I'm sure they are not the only two.
> Please stop and think.Please do.
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 30, 2004, at 7:02:53
In reply to STOP, posted by henrietta on October 29, 2004, at 18:58:55
> this absurd diversion
Please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by JenStar on October 30, 2004, at 22:53:14
In reply to STOP, posted by henrietta on October 29, 2004, at 18:58:55
Henrietta,
I agree with the spirit of your request!Folks, it does seem that too much energy gets expended on some of the arguments here.
Yes, this board is important to many. But if you sweat too much of the small stuff, how can you get the big work done? Frankly, some of the arguments and extendo-requests and multiple nitpickings here on admin seem very petty and childish. It's because of this kind of nitpicking that I've been staying away a lot lately. It just doesn't seem healthy or fun to be here anymore! Like H. suggests -- the 'real world' is a pretty cool place to hang out! And when my blood pressure rises from the arguments here, I know it's time to get off the computer for a while.
I don't mean this to be an attack on anyone. I honestly like many of you and enjoy reading posts and being part of discussions. But over the past few months I've noticed a distinct and disturbing trend to ire and mean-spiritedness here.
I hope this gets better....I'll keep checking periodically....and hope to find a sweeter place in a while.
take care,
JenStar
Posted by Gabbix2 on October 30, 2004, at 23:23:45
In reply to Re: STOP » henrietta, posted by JenStar on October 30, 2004, at 22:53:14
> Henrietta,
> I agree with the spirit of your request!
>
> Folks, it does seem that too much energy gets expended on some of the arguments here.
>That's the way it appears to you, it's not up to you to decide what is an important issue to someone else.
> Yes, this board is important to many. But if you sweat too much of the small stuff, how can you get the big work done? Frankly, some of the arguments and extendo-requests and multiple nitpickings here on admin seem very petty and childish.
One persons quest for fairness and reason can easily appear to be nit-picky to someone else.
I don't think anyone here has to be told what the real world is like --- Unless the assumption is that if we don't announce what we do for ourselves and others during the day (other than post on Babble) the assumption will be that we do nothing but sit in a dark room with the curtains closed and watch the administration board.
As a person who has depression, one thing
I get really tired of is people *telling* me what would be good for me,especially when it's compounded with the assumption that it's a revelation that never would have occured to me on my own. As a group I think those who have depression and other illnesses, are more introspective and aware than anyone I know.
Posted by JenStar on October 30, 2004, at 23:35:27
In reply to Re: STOP » JenStar, posted by Gabbix2 on October 30, 2004, at 23:23:45
I agree that people with illnesses have a great deal of introspection, and that can serve us all (me too! I'm one!) well.... I just worry that sometimes the introspection leads to the nitpicking that I mentioned. It's well-intentioned at the onset...but I think it's easy to get caught up in the details to the point of losing sight of the bigger picture.
I absolutely don't think that you sit in a dark room and do nothing but babble! I think (and hope, for sure) that everyone here has rich, rewarding lives in all arenas, on and off line. But for me personally, and this may vary for others, I find that when I AM mentally stronger and least depressed, that is when I spend more time involved in multiple off-line pursuits, and I think it continues the positive-feedback loop of health. I DO like babble, a lot, but it really does frustrate me when things on admin get so tied up in intricate gordian knots.
I really DO believe that some people get TOO wrapped up in the fine details of the site, or worry too excessively about the details, and that they COULD benefit from fresh air (not all the time! Just when babble gets too convoluted! and I'm not saying that they never get fresh air!)
Anyway, I hope you're having a good evening & weekend.
take care,
JenStar
Posted by Gabbix2 on October 31, 2004, at 0:45:02
In reply to Re: STOP, posted by JenStar on October 30, 2004, at 23:35:27
It's true, a balanced life is important, I don't think anyone would argue that, or take issue with it. I was irked by the thread opening post which you supported because it the inference was that the posters here needed to hear the "revelation" that there are people to be helped in the 3-D world. I was offended by that especially because the 'babblers' I know personally are involved in altruistic pursuits in an amount disproportiantly high compared to the other folks I know.
Judging by the intelligence of people here, I'd guess that people can pick their own battles too.
Some stay when things get rough and don't just pop in when it's happy, because they they have the strength, and are aware of the importance of trying to change something seen as unfair, or at least offer moral support to others.
Trust me, I've been the centre of at least two admin battles that may have looked ridiculous or nit-picky to an outsider, and though my supporters probably knew they could change nothing on my behalf their support at that time meant the world to me, I also understand that people need to walk away, but I think people do a pretty good job of guaging when to do that for themselves.I hope you have a good weekend too!
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 31, 2004, at 11:25:42
In reply to Re: STOP » henrietta, posted by JenStar on October 30, 2004, at 22:53:14
> if you sweat too much of the small stuff, how can you get the big work done?
It's been a concern of mine, too, that we might be distracted from our primary goals, support and education.
> some of the arguments and extendo-requests and multiple nitpickings here on admin seem very petty and childish.
Still, please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by AuntieMel on November 1, 2004, at 13:37:43
In reply to Re: please be civil » JenStar, posted by Dr. Bob on October 31, 2004, at 11:25:42
I don't call any of this a distraction.
One of my main problems is getting up the courage to speak up for myself and others when I think I should.
This is actually good practice for me - speaking up, while controlling my outward emotions and trying at the same time to respond with a logical argument.
All skills I need to improve.
Posted by Gabbix2 on November 1, 2004, at 14:42:25
In reply to Re: distraction? » Dr. Bob, posted by AuntieMel on November 1, 2004, at 13:37:43
> I don't call any of this a distraction.
>
> One of my main problems is getting up the courage to speak up for myself and others when I think I should.
>
> This is actually good practice for me - speaking up, while controlling my outward emotions and trying at the same time to respond with a logical argument.
>
> All skills I need to improve.And it feels pretty real to me too, at least I know I'm real, are you? : )
Posted by Bobby on November 1, 2004, at 15:01:39
In reply to Re: distraction?, posted by Gabbix2 on November 1, 2004, at 14:42:25
Hi Gabbi!
Long time no see. hope your life is swell. If not--eat two bananas and call me in the morning.:)
Posted by Dr. Bob on November 1, 2004, at 15:18:53
In reply to Re: distraction? » Dr. Bob, posted by AuntieMel on November 1, 2004, at 13:37:43
> I don't call any of this a distraction.
>
> This is actually good practice for me - speaking up, while controlling my outward emotions and trying at the same time to respond with a logical argument.That's a good point, and it's come up before:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20040112/msgs/300134.html
Still, the *primary* goals of this site are support and education, not assertiveness training. :-)
Bob
Posted by Gabbix2 on November 1, 2004, at 15:29:07
In reply to Re: goals, posted by Dr. Bob on November 1, 2004, at 15:18:53
>> Still, the *primary* goals of this site are support and education, not assertiveness training. :-)
>
Learning assertiveness is education.
Posted by AuntieMel on November 1, 2004, at 17:02:19
In reply to Re: goals, posted by Dr. Bob on November 1, 2004, at 15:18:53
I'm not talking about mere assertiveness. What I've got is a major phobia. So, just like this site can be good practice in learning how to deal with others in a civil manner, it can also be good to work on other things.
Posted by JenStar on November 3, 2004, at 18:00:52
In reply to Re: please be civil » JenStar, posted by Dr. Bob on October 31, 2004, at 11:25:42
Posted by JenStar on November 3, 2004, at 23:12:20
In reply to Re: STOP » JenStar, posted by Gabbix2 on October 31, 2004, at 0:45:02
hi Gabbi,
sorry if my post upset you the other day...rereading it I wish I hadn't written it using such harsh words. Sometimes when I get frustrated here I just spew out without taking time to edit.Anyway, I hope you're doing well & enjoying all the exciting election coverage on TV (ha!) and preparing for a good weekend. It IS coming in a few days....right?
take care,
JenStar
Posted by Dr. Bob on November 4, 2004, at 9:09:59
In reply to Sorry, will do: Re: please be civil (nm) » Dr. Bob, posted by JenStar on November 3, 2004, at 18:00:52
This is the end of the thread.
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