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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by cheesesteak on August 8, 2006, at 12:52:48
I see that there is an obvious division of those who support the civility guidelines and those who feel they are too restrictive. I have a question for the civility supporters: Where, in real life, is it OK to be corrected for incivility, as defined here? -
- parents to children (young or older)?
- spouse to spouse?
- friend to friend?
- sibling to sibling?
- bosses to employees?
- from/to complete strangers?...and any others you can think of.
Posted by james K on August 8, 2006, at 14:10:15
In reply to PBC Reality Check, posted by cheesesteak on August 8, 2006, at 12:52:48
> I see that there is an obvious division of those who support the civility guidelines and those who feel they are too restrictive. I have a question for the civility supporters: Where, in real life, is it OK to be corrected for incivility, as defined here? -
---Good question. I guess it depends on what OK means. The same right to free speech that allows one to be rude would allow another to correct. The same right to property that would allow one to remove an undesirable from a business would allow another to be removed from a website.
---There was an interesting article in the sport page today in the Couch Slouch column. It's about incivility in the sports world. He asks the question "Under what circumstances, in or out of a sports arena is it right to throw anything at anybody? Under what circumstances, in or out of a sports arena, is it right to shout out obsecenities and slurs? Under what circumstances, in or out of a sports arena, is it right to be uncivil, indecent, and impudent?"
---This obviously got me thinking about psychobabble and its structure.
I've been fired from a job for rudeness to a third party in the mail, off-site. I've had a neighbor slander me and try to get me fired from another job just because she has a problem with me. I guess I'm saying I've been on both sides of the problem in real life circumstances with real consequences.
I think we as humans are free to decide what it is ok or right for us to do and say, and that includes putting consequences on others if we have the power to do so. Laws of the various lands dictate to varying degrees what consequences are legal, But it still comes down to us using what agency we possess to make the world in the image we desire. A desire to not make anything of the world is still a desire.
If I think people shouldn't cuss in public or private, I am as free to ask them to stop as they are to continue. Only the strength of my will or reasoning and the power of ownership and control will ultimately determine whether the cussing continues.
What is actually right in a moral sense can be meaningless to the outcome. My sense of morality varies from day to day as my emotions and thoughts fluctuate.
> - parents to children (young or older)?
> - spouse to spouse?
> - friend to friend?
> - sibling to sibling?
> - bosses to employees?
> - from/to complete strangers?
>
> ...and any others you can think of.----So to actually answer your question, I think it is ok to correct another under any circumstance. If you are able to live with the consequences of rejection or counter-correction. If you (I) are (am) unable to live with the consequences, or don't desire to suffer the consequence, then I should reconsider my desire to correct.
james k
Posted by cheesesteak on August 8, 2006, at 14:38:06
In reply to PBC Reality Check, posted by cheesesteak on August 8, 2006, at 12:52:48
Therapist to patient and vice versa?
Posted by notfred on August 8, 2006, at 14:44:56
In reply to Addendum, posted by cheesesteak on August 8, 2006, at 14:38:06
You forgot the only one that matters, in this context:
List owner to list users.
But in general incivility needs to be pointed out when it happens.
Posted by AuntieMel on August 8, 2006, at 15:01:49
In reply to PBC Reality Check, posted by cheesesteak on August 8, 2006, at 12:52:48
That it is just as rude to point out rudeness as the original rudeness.
But - that is in social situations where everyone is supposedly on equal footing.
Here I think that the civility guidelines are there to *keep* everyone on equal footing. Without them (my opinion) there would be the online equivalent of bullies.
This is the end of the thread.
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