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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on November 12, 2003, at 0:34:31
On a related topic. :)
My sessions aren't in the mornings, although I think they might be more productive if they were. But I don't like to go directly from the stress of work to therapy. Not to mention the stress of driving in traffic to get there.
I like to arrive early and while I sometimes read in the car, I more often do some sort of meditation. I focus deeply on a point behind my eyelids and wait until I feel any tension leave my body, and my emotions are free instead of cooped up in my stomach like they usually are.
If I have something I wrote down to remind me to talk to him, I might glance at that as well.
I wish his waiting room was quieter, but I usually manage to make the noises fade into the background. I'm sure the receptionist thinks I'm, well, nuts. :) I sit there with my eyes closed while I wait.
Have I mentioned that I don't particularly mind looking a bit odd?
Posted by Tabitha on November 12, 2003, at 1:00:43
In reply to How do you gear up for sessions?, posted by Dinah on November 12, 2003, at 0:34:31
I don't seem to need wind-up. I think I respond to the therapy setting like pavlov's dogs. It does throw me a little if there's anything unusual in the waiting room. It's usually empty, with muzak, and there may or may not be a supply of people magazines. For a while the clock was broken, but now there are 2 clocks.
Posted by Dinah on November 12, 2003, at 8:21:25
In reply to Re: How do you gear up for sessions?, posted by Tabitha on November 12, 2003, at 1:00:43
Again, I'm impressed.
If I don't mentally prepare for a session, I usually end up meandering and unsatisfied after. But it does seem to take a lot of my concentration and effort, and reduces my productivity for the day.
Posted by Poet on November 12, 2003, at 9:10:48
In reply to How do you gear up for sessions?, posted by Dinah on November 12, 2003, at 0:34:31
If I'm early I wait in the car until a few minutes before my appointment before I go sit in the waiting room.
I keep mentally repeating things like don't be nervous, trust her, etc. There is no receptionist, the therapists just come and get clients themselves from the waiting room.
My therapist is always a few minutes late. I recognize her footsteps coming down the hall. This is when I start getting nervous. I understand your cooped up emotions hiding in your stomach.
Poet
Posted by justyourlaugh on November 12, 2003, at 11:33:16
In reply to Re: How do you gear up for sessions? » Tabitha, posted by Dinah on November 12, 2003, at 8:21:25
i have learned to live with odd..
i really "tic" when in waiting rooms..
ive even poured hot coffee down in my shirt while trying to surpress..
any how i like sitting next to a stranger and try to make them more at ease...and i end up feeling relaxed too..
i too do a form of medatation in the car...its a horrible habit because i go somewhere else..maybe i need to get off the highway first!!
i am always wonderfully glowing when i first enter his office..i have no idea why i try so hard to please him?
j
Posted by mair on November 12, 2003, at 19:18:09
In reply to How do you gear up for sessions?, posted by Dinah on November 12, 2003, at 0:34:31
I hardly ever leave enough time to get there so I arrive about a minute early, if not a minute late. I prefer cutting it close because I don't really like to run into the previous patient. A big obstacle to me is that I tend to suppress all thoughts of therapy between sessions so i can rarely remember what was talked about the last time. My therapist keeps notes so she reminds me of where we left off but I think I lose some continuity and it's probably not good that I'm not processing some things on my own between sessions. Therapy can be very anxiety producing for me. If I'm otherwise not doing particularly well, I dread going because the worse I feel the less I feel like talking. Ocassionally if I feel really anxious, i might take some xanax before I leave my office.
Mair
Posted by Dinah on November 12, 2003, at 19:47:51
In reply to Re: How do you gear up for sessions?, posted by mair on November 12, 2003, at 19:18:09
Do you still find it anxiety producing? I had hoped that it would get a bit easier for you over time. Does the idea of talking about you and only you for almost an hour make you feel pressured?
I've made a whole lot of progress in feeling more comfortable with the whole process, though that might change soon. At our last session, he rather ominously suggested that we needed to talk about him challenging me more without my falling apart. I understand, but I also hate the possibility of losing my safe space.
I always make a point of *not* taking klonopin before I go, though I might take a half of one after I return. I want to make certain I can access my emotions fully.
Posted by fallsfall on November 12, 2003, at 22:30:41
In reply to Re: How do you gear up for sessions? » mair, posted by Dinah on November 12, 2003, at 19:47:51
I am trying to prepare less before sessions. My old therapist told me that I was too scripted, and my new one seems to understand that sometimes I have to get information across to him, but most of the time he'd rather have me be more spontaneous. Spontaneous is hard for me always, so I'm trying to work on that in my sessions.
I always get there 10 minutes early so I can stop breathing hard from climbing the stairs.
I used to read the (substantial amount of) journalling that I had written the week before. But then I just end up "reporting" on what happened instead of "feeling" in the session.
Posted by judy1 on November 13, 2003, at 10:20:00
In reply to Re: How do you gear up for sessions?, posted by mair on November 12, 2003, at 19:18:09
I totally understand how you feel- going to therapy is easily the most anxiety-ridden situation I put myself in. at least you go, I keep breaking appts. even though I take xanax first. and it's not my therapist or shrink, they tip toe around me, it's just me hating to face my problems. I really go in phases, determined to heal, then hating to acknowledge that I have to heal. I'm in the denial mode now.
take care, judy
Posted by DaisyM on November 13, 2003, at 12:19:24
In reply to Re: How do you gear up for sessions? » mair, posted by judy1 on November 13, 2003, at 10:20:00
I spend a few minutes using deep breathing to calm myself and collect my thoughts. I often have a list of what I want to talk about but I think my Therapist has figured out how to get beyond this list with me. As in, I try to control where we go and what we talk about, but I am less and less able to predict where we will end up. I guess this is a good thing...but it pushes all my need to control buttons.
I hate the waiting room so I too stay in my car until just before it is time.
Posted by mair on November 13, 2003, at 14:41:48
In reply to Re: How do you gear up for sessions? » mair, posted by Dinah on November 12, 2003, at 19:47:51
" I always make a point of *not* taking klonopin before I go, though I might take a half of one after I return. I want to make certain I can access my emotions fully."Dinah - how brave. I think I take xanax sometimes because I don't want to access my emotions. I am particularly anxious about going on those days when I probably feel more emotionally unstable.
On the other hand, while it still can get very uncomfortable, I think it is getting a little easier. I feel a little more comfortable with letting her know that I don't want to be there and letting her know that there are topics I don't want to discuss. She does push me some, but not more than I'm willing to be pushed.
Mair
Posted by mair on November 13, 2003, at 14:49:08
In reply to Re: How do you gear up for sessions? » mair, posted by judy1 on November 13, 2003, at 10:20:00
Judy - I used to tell my therapist that the only reason I was there was because I was too polite to just not show up. Basically I am forced to go by my own inaction. By the time I've finished hemming and hawing about whether I should cancel, it's too late to cancel.
I used to particularly hate going there and not being able to talk because I was just too resistant to opening up. The silence just felt so uncomfortable and I sort of felt like a cornered animal looking for a way out. And really I'd seize up sometimes which prohibited me from thinking very clearly anyway, so by the time I was ready to say something, I'd have forgotten what her question was. I still do alot of clock staring and sometimes I can't leave fast enough. On the other hand, as I mentioned in my last post to Dinah, she and I have hashed all of this out so much that I've come to be slightly more comfortable with my own discomfort. And lots of times she'll start out by asking how I feel about being there so she anticipates when it's going to be difficult.
Mair
Posted by Dinah on November 13, 2003, at 15:19:03
In reply to Re: How do you gear up for sessions? » Dinah, posted by mair on November 13, 2003, at 14:41:48
I'm really glad it's getting easier and more comfortable for you. :) That's terrific progress on both of your parts. Even being able to admit that you're feeling horrid is progress.
I don't know that it's bravery so much as that... Hmmmm.... There is an enormous payoff in allowing yourself to be vulnerable with a person (ok, I'll be blunt here) you pay to be trustworthy. It feels really good when you've lept the hurdles and made your way to being open and vulnerable and accepted.
I mean the cognitive stuff is good, and fine, and useful. But it is really way more satisfying when you invest yourself by going as deep as you can possibly go.
Eeek. I'm an emotional junkie. A therapy addict. :) But it does keep me relatively stable and productive.
Posted by karen_kay on November 13, 2003, at 18:40:34
In reply to Re: How do you gear up for sessions? » mair, posted by Dinah on November 13, 2003, at 15:19:03
Gear up??? I have very precise notes... I practice conversations in my head and anticipate what he may say back. I have been seeing him since February and I still have butterflies in my stomach the morning I wake up and the appointment isn't until aobut 3 pm. Ughhh... it hurts to go sometimes. And I make endless lists of what to talk about. I'm extremely resistant. To the point that if he starts to discuss something that I don't want to I just start looking at my shoes. I won't even answer him. I'm sure sometimes he gets frustrated, but I'm just beginning to open up and it feels wonderful. And the butterflies aren't as bad as they used to be. And the lists aren't as long. And sometimes I answer his questions, even if I don't really want to. I'm beginning to trust him. And it feels great!!! Karen
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