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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by justyourlaugh on February 18, 2004, at 11:44:11
i havent a clue what i am suppose to be doing when i see my t every week..
i dont know how i am to act...what i am to bring up...what questions i shouldnt be asking..
i am a different person each time i see him..
i am confused sometimes i am teary ,other times indifferent...
i asked how he felt the sessions were going and he said i was making good use of the time...but i feel i have not...
i guess i wanted him to "fix" me by now...
maybe i am not even broken?
anyway yesterday all we talked about is fluff..and i wanted to tell him i feel so sad all the time..
i cried myself to sleep last night and i dont know why?
sorry this is sounding like a journal entry...
question...how to get around the fluff when you are not very good communicating or bringing up topics?
j
Posted by Dinah on February 18, 2004, at 11:51:32
In reply to all about the fluff...., posted by justyourlaugh on February 18, 2004, at 11:44:11
JYL, you express yourself very well in writing. Can you write what you'd like to discuss and bring it with you?
Posted by Karen_kay on February 18, 2004, at 12:36:48
In reply to all about the fluff...., posted by justyourlaugh on February 18, 2004, at 11:44:11
I feel your pain. I'm like the Queen of Distractions. I usually hide all of it, if I don't want him to see it...
But, a good way for me to start getting to what needs to be talked about when I don't want to talk aobut it is to casually bring it up. While we are tlaking fluff, I'll add in, "Oh yeah, I had a dream about my father last night..." I just spit part of it out. And I wait until there's only 20 minutes left. That way, if I don't want to get "too much" into it, I don't have to. And if I do, then we go over....
Hope that helps you hun! Hang in there... If your therapist says you're going great, it's a good sign. Usually they let you know if you aren't... We love you here, know it?
Hey, maybe it would help if you told us first??? Maybe kinda "practicing" may make a difference.. Only if you are comfortable, of course.. But before your session, a few days before, tell us what you want to say and then it may make it easier to sy it there???? Just thinking out loud I guess, but it may help too.. Trying to help you. Hoping I'm not rambling. "Lord, I was born a rambling man,,.,,, "
Posted by pegasus on February 18, 2004, at 14:38:56
In reply to all about the fluff...., posted by justyourlaugh on February 18, 2004, at 11:44:11
I deal with this by giving myself an assignment for each session. It'll be something like: Today I'm going to *at least* mention my sister, and ask my T if she has any crayons I could use, and whether she has talked to my old T.
I usually try to throw in something I want to know about, something fun, and something hard (but only a manageable piece of it). And I keep it short. The way this helps me, is that if I achieve my agenda, then I have a sense of acomplishment about the session. Of course, if I don't, then I feel like a failure and that's when I cry myself to sleep like you describe. That's why I keep it simple, but relevant. It helps me when I get discombobulated (which I always do). I just try to remember my minimal agenda, which is always relatively safe or at least limited, but topics that aren't totally irrelevant.
And if I find myself with 5 minutes to go, and I haven't covered my agend, I'll just blurt out the things that were on my agenda. Like, "Oh, I had wanted to tell you about my sister, and ask you if you had crayons, and whether you had talked to XXX, and I didn't manage to do it!" So, then usually we get to it the next time around.
Or if that fails also, then I write to my therapist everything that I wanted to say but didn't. Just getting it out seems to make me feel better.
It works for me. I hope you're able to come up with a strategy that helps you deal with therapy better too!
- p
Posted by All Done on February 18, 2004, at 23:49:33
In reply to all about the fluff...., posted by justyourlaugh on February 18, 2004, at 11:44:11
Hi, JYL. I'm wondering if you've discussed your goals with your therapist. If you haven't, maybe this would help to get and keep you on track during your sessions. Or if you already have, perhaps you can revisit them. I find that my goals in therapy are constantly changing, so my T and I have gone over them a couple of times together and I am always looking back at my journalling. This reminds me what I'm there to accomplish or talk about. Don't get me wrong, though, I still have my fair share of fluff sessions.
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