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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pinkeye on March 29, 2005, at 20:30:57
Extremely stressed and find myself getting very anxious and tensed. My pain (due to an illness) is coming back because of the stress.
Huge marital conflict and dont know how to deal with. :-(
Posted by Dinah on March 29, 2005, at 20:39:21
In reply to Going down the drain again, posted by pinkeye on March 29, 2005, at 20:30:57
Stress is hard on the body. I'm sorry you're going through a rough time with your husband right now. Mine is being uncharacteristically calm. Maybe you'll hit a good spot soon. :)
Posted by 10derHeart on March 29, 2005, at 20:44:47
In reply to Going down the drain again, posted by pinkeye on March 29, 2005, at 20:30:57
I'm sorry, pinkeye. You were sounding sort of shaky and down lately. How 'bout I just push the plug down in that drain, and you stay right up here in the hot, soapy (sometimes icky) water with the rest of us! Okay?
Would it help to post just about the marriage stuff over on relationships? I'm sure you'd get tons of support, and maybe even a small idea or two to try....maybe? I remember you mentioning the general problems....you know sometimes if we're getting depressed, our view narrows and we see these things as hopeless, when they're not really. That's where Babble-friends can be a gift from God, IMO.
Wish I could help more. I'm sort of in a weird stage with my T. (appt. is tomorrow) and so I'm sort of - distracted and distressed. But not so bad, just a bump in the road, probably.
But I'm concerned for you. Do you have someone IRL to confide in about your hubby?
Posted by gardenergirl on March 29, 2005, at 21:18:35
In reply to Re: Going down the drain again » pinkeye, posted by 10derHeart on March 29, 2005, at 20:44:47
Posted by Shortelise on March 29, 2005, at 23:11:42
In reply to Going down the drain again, posted by pinkeye on March 29, 2005, at 20:30:57
Posted by pegasus on March 30, 2005, at 10:06:32
In reply to Going down the drain again, posted by pinkeye on March 29, 2005, at 20:30:57
So, sorry to hear it, pinkeye. There is not much rougher than having physical pain and marital pain at the same time. One or the other is bad enough.
I hope things take a positive turn for you soon. And in the meantime, i hope you can get the support you need IRL, through your T, or here with babble.
(((pinkeye)))
pegasus
Posted by Susan47 on March 30, 2005, at 11:57:57
In reply to Going down the drain again, posted by pinkeye on March 29, 2005, at 20:30:57
Oh, dear, you're so sweet and kind. Are you on AD's, I forget? Do you have someone to talk to about the conflict? Can anybody here help? You're so sweet and kind and helpful to others, Pinkeye .. you've been missing your ex-T lately too, and wanting to contact him but not able to, wanting to respect yourself and him. ((((Pinkeye)))) Can you see a new T?
Posted by 10derHeart on March 30, 2005, at 12:18:55
In reply to Re: Going down the drain again, posted by Susan47 on March 30, 2005, at 11:57:57
Hey there,
Glad to see you posting around the boards...
Re: our dear pinkeye...you might want to read thread just above re: her current T....
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050315/msgs/476832.html
Posted by pinkeye on March 30, 2005, at 12:34:31
In reply to Re: Going down the drain again » Susan47, posted by 10derHeart on March 30, 2005, at 12:18:55
Hi Guys,
All of you are so sweet and nice .. thanks a lot for your support. It means a lot.
I am too tired now to write to each of you and I am very stressed, but I wish I could thank each of you. Thanks all.I have to take a major life decision pretty soon - return back to my country or leave my husband.. and I am heavily conflicted and stressed..And I have tried my best, and it is just not working out - so will have to end up sacrificing one or the other. And my pain has again come back because of the stress..
I wish there were some magical answers . Sigh :-(.
Thanks again.
You guys are wonderful and babble is the warmest place I could be in.
Posted by pinkeye on March 30, 2005, at 12:39:27
In reply to Thanks guys » 10derHeart, posted by pinkeye on March 30, 2005, at 12:34:31
Posted by Tamar on March 30, 2005, at 15:16:09
In reply to Thanks guys » 10derHeart, posted by pinkeye on March 30, 2005, at 12:34:31
That does sound terribly stressful. Does you husband realize that his decision to return to your country could entail leaving you behind? Would he still want to go?
I hope you find a way to resolve the struggle, and I hope you find some relief from your pain.
Tamar
Posted by pinkeye on March 30, 2005, at 16:59:19
In reply to Re: Thanks guys » pinkeye, posted by Tamar on March 30, 2005, at 15:16:09
I think he would even if it means leaving me behind. It is partly my mistake also, because he told me before marriage that he wants to go bakc and I agreed without realizing how much it means to me.
There doesn't seem to be any easy solution. And the worst part is stress makes my disease (rheumatoid arhtritis) always come back with a vigor and I don't know what to do to keep the stress at bay or manage it better.
Posted by Dinah on March 30, 2005, at 17:04:12
In reply to Re: Thanks guys » Tamar, posted by pinkeye on March 30, 2005, at 16:59:19
Would it help to talk about it more?
Other than the moving back question, what are the other stresses?
I know you've said sometimes that living in a country where you weren't born leaves you somewhat isolated. Do you see any good points to moving back?
Posted by pinkeye on March 30, 2005, at 17:19:05
In reply to Re: Thanks guys, posted by Dinah on March 30, 2005, at 17:04:12
There are some good things about moving back for me also. I can visit my parents more frequently and stuff.
But I also have to live in with my in laws and that is hard for me. I wouldn't know how to adjust with them. Plus they interfere a lot - ask me to get up at certain times, cook etc, and I cannot imagine myself going through all that.
And I don't like my husband that much anyways to leave all this up and go back.
Plus my father wanted me to come to the US from my childhood, and it was a dream for me, so I struggled a lot to come here and establish myself here, so now giving all that up to move back because my husband wants to is difficult.
Plus I earn a lot more here, than I ever would in my country. And I have lot more security and freedom here.
Posted by Dinah on March 30, 2005, at 17:23:12
In reply to Re: Thanks guys » Dinah, posted by pinkeye on March 30, 2005, at 17:19:05
OK, living with inlaws sounds like a major problem. I like mine a lot, but I wouldn't have if I'd have lived with them.
Not liking your husband all that much also sounds like a problem.
Do you have any kids?
Posted by pinkeye on March 30, 2005, at 17:29:53
In reply to Re: Thanks guys » pinkeye, posted by Dinah on March 30, 2005, at 17:23:12
Yeah, having to live with the inlaws is difficult. Especially when I am not that mature enough. But even otherwise, I am so attached to the US to even think of going back. I am just not able to. I respected my ex T a lot, and he kept trying to persuade me to come, and I still couldn't. I sometimes feel, if he couldn't make me go back, then nobody would be able to.
I don't have any kids. I do like my husband, nowadays liking is increasing more and more. But till 2 - 3 months ago, I didn't like him at all. But now he is turning out to be somewhat a nice guy. And I would be sorry to lose this also.
This is the end of the thread.
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