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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 49 to 73 of 75. Go back in thread:
Posted by crushedout on May 11, 2005, at 14:14:09
In reply to Re: does every T bring up sex at some point? » Dinah, posted by Tamar on May 11, 2005, at 6:27:15
I haven't talked much about fantasies, either, but I really think if you can talk about it, it is very useful therapeutic fodder. If you can get past the embarrassment, that is, which has always held me back. I would really like to get to a place where I can bring this stuff into my therapy, though, and I intend to.
Posted by LittleGirlLost on May 12, 2005, at 13:38:58
In reply to (((((LGL))))) so nice to see you, posted by TofuEmmy on May 10, 2005, at 19:19:10
Thanks Emmy. :)
So good to see you too. (((((Emmy)))))~LGL
Posted by crushedout on May 12, 2005, at 20:01:08
In reply to Re: does every T bring up sex at some point? » Tamar, posted by crushedout on May 11, 2005, at 14:14:09
I didn't get into anything really embarrassing, but I used the word "sexual" and "sexually" several times, and the word "penis" came up (she said it) so it got slightly explicit. I didn't turn bright red. I feel like this is a good start. The door is open.
Posted by Dinah on May 12, 2005, at 20:44:15
In reply to I talked about sex today, posted by crushedout on May 12, 2005, at 20:01:08
It gets easier with time. I came close to actually saying what I wrote on the yellow post it note. In fact I typed it and allowed him to read it.
You'll be saying all the words before you know it.
Posted by crushedout on May 12, 2005, at 20:58:37
In reply to Good for you! » crushedout, posted by Dinah on May 12, 2005, at 20:44:15
what do you mean you typed it? in his office? i'm confused.thanks, d. i'm excited about being able to talk about this stuff.
i kind of want to ask her how comfortable she is talking about it. i think maybe if she tells me she's totally comfortable, that will help me feel comfortable.
Posted by Dinah on May 12, 2005, at 21:08:33
In reply to Re: Good for you! » Dinah, posted by crushedout on May 12, 2005, at 20:58:37
No, I typed it at home, and brought it in. But that was a big step for me on this particular topic.
I asked my therapist (not sure if I've already shared this) and he said he felt a bit uncomfortable just because you don't talk so explicitly everyday but he could handle it. I told him if it got too much for him to let me know. Then he ended up shocking me!
Posted by happyflower on May 12, 2005, at 22:08:12
In reply to Re: Good for you! » crushedout, posted by Dinah on May 12, 2005, at 21:08:33
> .
>
> I told him if it got too much for him to let me know. Then he ended up shocking me!What was the shock? I guess I am just nosey, sorry.
Posted by Dinah on May 12, 2005, at 22:24:24
In reply to inquiring minds want to know! lol, posted by happyflower on May 12, 2005, at 22:08:12
Hmmm... I think I'd better not say. I don't think Dr. Bob's filter is up to it.
I did however verify it with my husband.
It must be something men learn about somewhere or something, because my husband is no more a sophisticate than I am. And my therapist strikes me as being way more conventional than I am.
Posted by crushedout on May 13, 2005, at 8:20:35
In reply to Re: inquiring minds want to know! lol » happyflower, posted by Dinah on May 12, 2005, at 22:24:24
I'm not pressuring you to tell (although I am curious) but I just want to make sure I understand the civility rules (I guess I should move this conversation to admin):there's no ban on explicitly sexual stuff, is there? as long as we don't use vulgar or offensive terms. i mean, we can be as explicit as we want as long as we're clinical right? just want to make sure we all know this, assuming i'm right.
Posted by Dinah on May 13, 2005, at 11:28:10
In reply to Re: inquiring minds want to know! lol » Dinah, posted by crushedout on May 13, 2005, at 8:20:35
That's my understanding. We're allowed to be explicit, but not vulgar.
What shocked me would fall into vulgar.
Posted by crushedout on May 13, 2005, at 11:34:30
In reply to Re: inquiring minds want to know! lol » crushedout, posted by Dinah on May 13, 2005, at 11:28:10
alright, if this is something that there's no way to say using clinical terms then you've got me REALLY intrigued. i can't even *think* of anything like that.
Posted by Dinah on May 13, 2005, at 11:52:48
In reply to Re: inquiring minds want to know! lol » Dinah, posted by crushedout on May 13, 2005, at 11:34:30
are you on messenger right now?
I could tell you.
Posted by crushedout on May 13, 2005, at 11:59:28
In reply to Re: inquiring minds want to know! lol, posted by Dinah on May 13, 2005, at 11:52:48
i'll download it. i'm at work
Posted by happyflower on May 13, 2005, at 12:16:07
In reply to Re: inquiring minds want to know! lol » Dinah, posted by crushedout on May 13, 2005, at 11:59:28
Posted by Dinah on May 13, 2005, at 12:29:23
In reply to I want to know too, I have IM (nm), posted by happyflower on May 13, 2005, at 12:16:07
It was just the (im)proper term for the hole in the cubicle wall of an adult bookstore I went to over twenty years ago for a bachelorette party. I had thought it was a peephole for management to keep an eye on the customers.
Posted by 10derHeart on May 13, 2005, at 16:43:46
In reply to I've probably been too mysterious, posted by Dinah on May 13, 2005, at 12:29:23
So it shocked you that he knew a vulgar, slang term for it, or that he said it out loud to you...or both?
(I hope it doesn't mean anything too warped that this thread is waaay too interesting to me....can I blame crushed somehow....?)
Love ya', crushed....::: --- ))))
Posted by Dinah on May 13, 2005, at 17:54:26
In reply to Re: I've probably been too mysterious » Dinah, posted by 10derHeart on May 13, 2005, at 16:43:46
I think I was shocked that there was such a thing. Well, maybe not in abstract, but definitely someplace I had been. No matter how disgusting I had found the place my thoughts hadn't sunk that far. I was shocked that something like that had come so close to innocent young me.
And a bit shocked that he told me. Perhaps a teensy bit shocked that he knew, though since my husband does too, I imagine it's not all that shocking.
But mostly just absolutely humiliated that I had been to such a place, and more than a bit embarassed that I had described what I saw as a management attempt to regulate what went on in there. (blush)
Posted by Tamar on May 13, 2005, at 18:46:11
In reply to Re: I've probably been too mysterious » 10derHeart, posted by Dinah on May 13, 2005, at 17:54:26
> I think I was shocked that there was such a thing. Well, maybe not in abstract, but definitely someplace I had been. No matter how disgusting I had found the place my thoughts hadn't sunk that far. I was shocked that something like that had come so close to innocent young me.
>
> And a bit shocked that he told me. Perhaps a teensy bit shocked that he knew, though since my husband does too, I imagine it's not all that shocking.
>
> But mostly just absolutely humiliated that I had been to such a place, and more than a bit embarassed that I had described what I saw as a management attempt to regulate what went on in there. (blush)I asked my husband about it and he knew immediately what I was talking about. I guess it's a Y-chromosome thing. I would have thought the same as you.
My only comparable experience was going to a gay sex store with a friend and backing into (by accident) a big display of b*tt pl*gs. They all fell down, I ran from the store...
Posted by 10derHeart on May 13, 2005, at 20:52:46
In reply to Re: I've probably been too mysterious » Dinah, posted by Tamar on May 13, 2005, at 18:46:11
>>My only comparable experience was going to a gay sex store with a friend and backing into (by accident) a big display of b*tt pl*gs. They all fell down, I ran from the store...
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I thought I had a good story about a sex store with a friend years ago, but compared to yours it's completely boring......oh, my sides hurt from laughing as I pictured those falling to the floor....sorry, Tamar, but you know I'm laughing *with* you (hope you're laughing...now anyway?) and at the excellent way you wrote that, not *at* you, of course.
...okay, I think I can breathe now...
PS - So glad you clarified by telling us you backed into them "by accident" because certain smart *ss posters such as myself would have (pardon the possible pun) jumped all over that one!
Posted by 10derHeart on May 13, 2005, at 21:02:48
In reply to Re: does every T bring up sex at some point? » Dinah, posted by Tamar on May 11, 2005, at 6:27:15
Wow, Tamar, I understood every single thing you wrote in this post so well, it's absolutely uncanny.
Especially about going home and writing the story down. And the asterisks. Wow.
Let's just say if anyone could get past the (very weak and simplistic, I'm sure) basic security safeguards on my laptop computer and read a certain long story....they could blackmail me to high heaven if they threatened to let former T. see it....I shudder just to think...
...oh dear, I'm scaring myself, I guess I need to delete that.
But I still re-read it sometimes. {massively blushing}
Posted by crushedout on May 13, 2005, at 22:13:35
In reply to Re: I've probably been too mysterious » Dinah, posted by Tamar on May 13, 2005, at 18:46:11
Tamar, you just made me laugh my *ss off, thank you. that's a hilarious image. i'm so cracking up right now. i could kiss you. :)
Posted by crushedout on May 13, 2005, at 22:17:41
In reply to Re: I've probably been too mysterious » Tamar, posted by 10derHeart on May 13, 2005, at 20:52:46
My favorite part is her running from the store. it's worthy of a woody allen movie or something. it's frickin' hysterical. such a good laugh.
Posted by 10derHeart on May 13, 2005, at 23:08:40
In reply to Re: I've probably been too mysterious » 10derHeart, posted by crushedout on May 13, 2005, at 22:17:41
Posted by Dinah on May 14, 2005, at 8:16:49
In reply to Re: I've probably been too mysterious » Dinah, posted by Tamar on May 13, 2005, at 18:46:11
ROFL
I laughed so hard that my son was disturbed from his TV reverie enough to ask what was funny.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who would have made the more innocent assumption.
Posted by Jazzed on May 15, 2005, at 13:51:28
In reply to Re: does every T bring up sex at some point?, posted by cricket on May 9, 2005, at 12:50:33
> He does bring up sex sometimes. Out of the blue, he will ask "So how's your sex life?" which can be quite funny.
>
> But not as funny as the one time he instructed me how to talk to my husband about sex. My T pretended like he was me and said, "You know, {husband's name}, that was really wonderful. But I would really like it if you did more of {explicit sexual act}."
>
> Just hearing my T act like he was me in a post-coital moment was very strange. It felt like there were one too many people in the bed.
>
Geeze! I just happened on this board and HAD to join because this thread was SO interesting, you all rock! LOLJazzed
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