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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by cockeyed on June 14, 2005, at 23:14:43
I stopped because I was scared. now I'm not. But I'm lying. And I don't care. that's what bothers me. I like getting a buzz on. I like to go out and party. But I'm not 'sposed to and I find that sobriety is, for me, a neurotic dance thru a society I can't understand or deal with unless I get good and depressed. Then I'm acceptable. Bummed out and tame. And lame. That's the way it is with me. I'm starting to live a lie-I never before hid my drinking-now I feel I have to. And that makes me want to take another hit. But will I pay for it? Frankly, I've led my life doing the right thing. Now I'm slinking around ...and I like it. There is some thing in me that does not love the wall I was bricked up in since I was a kid. The old good boy syndrome...you wake up one day and say, hey, I'm miserable even when I do well.
Oh, heck, i can't stand this sniveling. I'm p*ssed off that the things that have meaning and power to me are alien to most of my family. Jeez, I can't wait for the next thrilling chapter when I get caught and have to hem and haw and do the old good boy dance again. Cockeyed
Posted by Jazzed on June 15, 2005, at 8:05:52
In reply to drinking again, posted by cockeyed on June 14, 2005, at 23:14:43
Cockeyed are you in therapy? Sounds like you could use some help understanding those emotions that are so confusing.
Please, whatever you do, don't drink and drive. My sons and I were almost killed the other day by a very drunk driver.
Jazzed
Posted by Jazzed on June 15, 2005, at 16:49:25
In reply to drinking again, posted by cockeyed on June 14, 2005, at 23:14:43
I'm sorry cockeyed, now I remember new T and possible EMDR. I hope you can get to the T with all those feelings so you can get them worked out.
Jazzed
Posted by john berk on June 19, 2005, at 18:46:11
In reply to drinking again, posted by cockeyed on June 14, 2005, at 23:14:43
hi! i understand where you are coming from completely!! sobriety is a neurotic dance through society for me as well, [excellent description], and although i now have 6 month's sober, i think about a drink every weekend. [week nights too, lol] i would love to be "out" there, partying in the clubs, but i'm in a position where i have to stay sober too.
i find life very boring and lame without alcohol, although i do so well sober, work, running,family relationships], but i don't feel well sober either, i'm doing therapy to figure out why, but i would assume it is just my love of getting high, a way for me to have something of my own, a refuge at times. to others it may sound sad, but i would prefer to drink over the sober life style anytime!! i wish you luck in finding your way, i just wanted you to know there is someone else in the same "boat" !! please take "jazzed" advice though, don't drink and drive. peace....john berk
This is the end of the thread.
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