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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by happyflower on June 17, 2005, at 11:12:22
How about a weekend chat! I guess I wish I didn't know that he was going in for a colonospy next week. I wish I didn't know about his family history concerning pollups and colon cancer.
Maybe I am just sensitive because my dad died from it at 50, getting it at 48. And they say that if it runs in your family that you should get one done 10 years before the person who got it was dianosed. Well I am 36, so I hope they come up with a more comfortable way in 2 years.
Posted by jazzed on June 17, 2005, at 13:15:48
In reply to Things you wish you didn't know about your T, posted by happyflower on June 17, 2005, at 11:12:22
> Maybe I am just sensitive because my dad died from it at 50, getting it at 48. And they say that if it runs in your family that you should get one done 10 years before the person who got it was dianosed. Well I am 36, so I hope they come up with a more comfortable way in 2 years.I can understand your concerns, both regarding your T and for yourself! It runs in my husbands family too, and he has to get them. Bleh! I don't want to have to do it either. Let's hope for a better way soon.
Jazzy
Posted by thewrite1 on June 17, 2005, at 14:09:55
In reply to Things you wish you didn't know about your T, posted by happyflower on June 17, 2005, at 11:12:22
I have had older people in my life just suddenly die. It's been hard for me and being that my T is in her 60's, I worry about her a lot. I just can't help it. I wish I didn't know her age 'cause she doesn't really look it.
But then, I wish I didn't know anything about her family either. I feel jealous that she cares for them in ways she will never care for me. Mostly I've accepted it, but it still hurts sometimes.
In short, I know what you mean.
Posted by pegasus on June 17, 2005, at 15:43:32
In reply to Things you wish you didn't know about your T, posted by happyflower on June 17, 2005, at 11:12:22
A T once told me that he and his wife had had an abortion many years earlier. I was talking about one I'd had a long time ago, and how hard it had been and how I regretted it. I guess he thought it would be helpful, but it kind of got in the way to know that.
Also, once when his wife was having a baby, and he had to cancel my appointment, I wished I didn't know about the baby. It made therapy awkward for a while. He was back in the office a week later (I suspect even before that, but that's when I had my next appointment). My issues were not important enough to bring him to his office with a week old baby at home. I felt really sorry for his wife. And I wanted to ask him about the baby, but I guess that wasn't an appropriate thing to talk about, because he was very brief when I mentioned anything about it.
pegasus
Posted by Dinah on June 18, 2005, at 0:05:09
In reply to Re: Things you wish you didn't know about your T, posted by pegasus on June 17, 2005, at 15:43:32
I don't think there's any way my therapist could keep a baby from me. He's not very blank slate. But that would be a killer. I'd just be too jealous of an infant. Terrible, isn't it? But that's the level of connection I want. Parent/infant.
I think the main thing I wish he hadn't told me was how many times he's failed. Two divorces, being fired several times, etc. I mean, I realize he wanted me to be comfortable with failure. But I rely on this guy for my very life. I may not *need* to know how comfortable he is with failure.
Posted by Tamar on June 18, 2005, at 11:49:11
In reply to Things you wish you didn't know about your T, posted by happyflower on June 17, 2005, at 11:12:22
I don't think my ex-T would ever have voluntarily told me something about his health. Once he had to reschedule less than 15 minutes before our appointment because he had to go to the doctor and I was surprised at how worried I felt. I saw him later the same day and he didn't seem to be seriously ill, but I didn't like to ask what was wrong with him.
It's definitely worrying to think of Ts as physically vulnerable, and no doubt even more worrying when that vulnerability strikes a chord in our own lives.
I hope for your sake that someone develops a new and easy method of investigating this disease, and of course that your T gets the all clear.
Tamar
Posted by pegasus on June 18, 2005, at 14:51:11
In reply to Things you wish you didn't know about your T, posted by happyflower on June 17, 2005, at 11:12:22
So, one session he mentioned that he'd run into a bear while he was biking on one of my favorite mountain bike rides. So, then, whenever I went on that ride after that, I'd worry that I'd run into him. Dang it! I'd rather just not know that he went up there too. And I never did run into him there.
pegasus
Posted by All Done on June 20, 2005, at 11:41:38
In reply to Things you wish you didn't know about your T, posted by happyflower on June 17, 2005, at 11:12:22
I wish I didn't know about or see his tattoo.
Posted by happyflower on June 20, 2005, at 12:06:43
In reply to Re: Things you wish you didn't know about your T, posted by All Done on June 20, 2005, at 11:41:38
> I wish I didn't know about or see his tattoo.
What kind of tatto is it?
Posted by All Done on June 20, 2005, at 12:35:44
In reply to Re: Things you wish you didn't know about your T, posted by happyflower on June 20, 2005, at 12:06:43
> What kind of tatto is it?
I'm not entirely sure as I just got a glimpse, but it's one of those that goes around the arm - just a design. I think it has colors.
Posted by LittleGirlLost on June 20, 2005, at 15:28:55
In reply to Re: Things you wish you didn't know about your T » happyflower, posted by thewrite1 on June 17, 2005, at 14:09:55
> I have had older people in my life just suddenly die. It's been hard for me and being that my T is in her 60's, I worry about her a lot. I just can't help it. I wish I didn't know her age 'cause she doesn't really look it.
thewrite1,
I seldom post so I hope you don't mind me responding to you. My T (I found out) is also in her 60's. Like you, it worries me. I'm afraid to say anything to her because I feel like I would be calling her "old", and that would be rude. I worry about her dieing... Well, I would worry about anyone dieing regardless of age, but she is of the age where it's more likely than say someone in there 30's. kwim?
Similarly, we were actually talking last week about what I think she may think of me. I was saying something like, "I wonder if you wonder how you got stuck with me, how you will get rid of me, etc." Of course she denied feeling this way and says that she likes working with people in long term therapy, but a part of me just wanted to ask, what about retirement! But again, I was afraid it would sound insulting, like I am calling her old.
So how do you handle this?
Oh and PS... I worry about her being "older", but I'm glad she's not young either... I'd be way too jealous at the thought of her having kids!
~LGL
Posted by happyflower on June 20, 2005, at 21:08:56
In reply to Re: Things you wish you didn't know about your T » thewrite1, posted by LittleGirlLost on June 20, 2005, at 15:28:55
> > >
> I seldom post so I hope you don't mind me responding to you.
It is nice to meet ya! I love your name, it is how I feel sometimes. :)
>
> >
> So how do you handle this?
>
How long have you been seeing your T? If you have a open relationship, why not just ask her what she wants to do someday when she retires. This way you aren't saying geez, you are an old geezer, WHEN are you going to retire! lolGood luck on what you decide on what to do, let us know how it turns out. P.S. Please post again, I like you.
Posted by LittleGirlLost on June 24, 2005, at 11:09:19
In reply to Re: Things you wish you didn't know about your T, posted by happyflower on June 20, 2005, at 21:08:56
> > I seldom post so I hope you don't mind me responding to you.
>
> It is nice to meet ya! I love your name, it is how I feel sometimes. :)
> >Thanks HappyFlower! I like your name too; it's uplifting.
> > So how do you handle this?
> >
> How long have you been seeing your T? If you have a open relationship, why not just ask her what she wants to do someday when she retires. This way you aren't saying geez, you are an old geezer, WHEN are you going to retire! lol
>
> Good luck on what you decide on what to do, let us know how it turns out. P.S. Please post again, I like you.awwww thanks for saying that; I really really needed that.
So I've been seeing my therapist for almost 2 years and we have a very good relationship that I know she would want me to say something if it were on my mind, but it's just hard for me because of how it would sound. One day I will though, I know she would appreciate my honesty.
Thanks HappyFlower. :)
LGL
Posted by happyflower on June 24, 2005, at 11:28:15
In reply to Re: Things you wish you didn't know about your T » happyflower, posted by LittleGirlLost on June 24, 2005, at 11:09:19
It sounds like you have a great relationship with your T. :) Honesty is the best ! I would be a little worried too, and I bet you wouldn't be the first to ask her because of her age. Good luck !
Posted by LittleGirlLost on June 25, 2005, at 13:44:43
In reply to Re: Things you wish you didn't know about your T » LittleGirlLost, posted by happyflower on June 24, 2005, at 11:28:15
> It sounds like you have a great relationship with your T. :) Honesty is the best ! I would be a little worried too, and I bet you wouldn't be the first to ask her because of her age. Good luck !
Thanks Happy, We do have a good relationship. It really amazes me how she really wants to know everything I'm thinking and feeling. (So different from how I was raised!) But I think she's even more interested because she knows how hard it is for me to open up. She tries to make it as easy as possible for me. I'm so lucky. :)
lgl
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