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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Augustina on June 20, 2005, at 9:58:44
In reply to Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by happyflower on June 20, 2005, at 8:30:24
hi happyflower,
i'm glad to know that i'm not the only who does this too!! i know i definitely put in a little extra effort in figuring out what i'll wear, getting my hair just right, even spritzing on a little perfume on my session days! you're right when you say it feels like a "date"...those are my sentiments exactly. but that's my little secret...i would never tell my T this! :-)
Posted by happyflower on June 20, 2005, at 10:16:54
In reply to Re: Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by Augustina on June 20, 2005, at 9:58:44
Posted by Shortelise on June 20, 2005, at 12:01:55
In reply to Re: Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by Augustina on June 20, 2005, at 9:58:44
I shower, wash my hair. I choose an outfit I feel comfortable in, that is not dressy. I make sure everything matches. Of course, I always make sure everything matches. My socks must match the outfit. My earrings match the outfit (I wear four).
I think maybe twice in the past seven years I have neglected to wash my hair before going to see my T. I only need to wash it once or twice a week, depending on the weather (it's very long). I almost always wear it down when I see him as it's the only really beautiful thing about me now. I often feel ugly in front of him, and so it's nice to have my hair there with me, looking lovely.
Interesting question, happyflower! I'm eager to see what others say.
ShortE
Posted by Aphrodite on June 20, 2005, at 13:35:40
In reply to Re: Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by Shortelise on June 20, 2005, at 12:01:55
> I almost always wear it down when I see him as it's the only really beautiful thing about me now.
>I seriously doubt that, ShortE. I've never seen you, but I'm sure that big heart of yours comes through your physical form as much as it comes across the internet.
Posted by Aphrodite on June 20, 2005, at 13:40:20
In reply to Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by happyflower on June 20, 2005, at 8:30:24
For one session, I go from work, so I usually am dressed up to a certain extent. The other session of the week is later in the evening, and I often go in T-shirts and jeans or shorts, and I don't worry much about the makeup and hair. I guess I'm not the norm:) The only thing about my appearance now that I focus on is being sure to wear waterproof mascara on therapy days:(
Maybe I should think about this. He always mentions something about my appearance. "You look comfortable today." "You look casual." "Ah, a suit, did you have a meeting today?" Maybe he's trying to tell me something;)
Posted by LadyBug on June 20, 2005, at 15:06:46
In reply to Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by happyflower on June 20, 2005, at 8:30:24
This idea has me laughing at myself. I try to look my best when I go. I like to go in the morning before I've had a chance to get "messed up". I want to look fresh! I want my hair to look perfect! Actually I won't let my hair color get grown out at all because I want my hair to be perfect and be the perfect blonde. We almost have the same color of hair! With a little help from our stylist I'm sure!! I want my clothes to be cute even though I always wear jeans. I want my makeup to look good, and I shave my legs too even though they never show! When I shop for clothes, I have therapy in mind. I don't like to go to appointments that are after work, or after I've been anywhere, even to a meeting.....I like to make it the first thing I do that day! My T. always looks really nice!! She dresses in suits mostly. I hate suits myself, but she likes to look professional. Some of her clothes are very dorky to me. I've seen her in jeans 2 times and it makes me feel more comfortable because that's what I wear. I'm not out to look professional like she is. I have to have the right shoes on too. And I like to use lotions instead of perfume. They are not so strong.
I wish I were going today! This makes me think about how I look forward to getting ready and loving the drive in as it takes me about 25 min. to get there. I have to listen to the right music on the way too. I want to set the mood!
What am I nuts???????
This is a great topic! I've been seeing my T. for over 8 years and I still care what I'm wearing every time!!LadyBug
Posted by Tamar on June 20, 2005, at 15:28:16
In reply to Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by happyflower on June 20, 2005, at 8:30:24
The first time I met my T was back when I was feeling pretty rough. I was wearing old track pants and a shapeless top; no make up, and my hair tied back in a pony tail that made me look like a twelve year-old.
Shortly after that (and only because my T was hot) I got my hair cut to a style that makes me look like a grown-up and I started wearing make-up and perfume to sessions. I was pregnant at the time, so I always wore maternity clothes. He never once mentioned anything about my appearance though :(
After my baby was born, all my maternity clothes were too big, but my regular clothes didn’t fit. The only thing that I could wear was something I’d bought years ago when I was fatter: a pair of leather jeans. I don’t know what he made of that! Probably didn’t even notice…
Posted by LittleGirlLost on June 20, 2005, at 15:35:27
In reply to Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by happyflower on June 20, 2005, at 8:30:24
I don't "dress up special" per se, although I do wear my work clothes which are professional. I have time to go home after work and change, but I choose not to, so I guess you could say in a way, I do dress up. I cannot imagine going there super casual, OR without my hair and make-up looking good. Weird how it influences me too, like I am not comfortable seeing her on a bad hair day.
Does anyone here think how they dress affects how they talk (especially if you are like me and have trouble talking and opening up)? I think I dress professionally for T so I can be "the professional" (me) and feel more equal. I honestly think that if I allowed myself to dress more casual and comfortable, it would be easier to talk. I guess that's why I don't. Anyone else?
~LGL
Posted by LittleGirlLost on June 20, 2005, at 15:39:33
In reply to Re: Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by LadyBug on June 20, 2005, at 15:06:46
LOL LadyBug, I could relate to everything you said! :)
Posted by Tamar on June 20, 2005, at 16:34:21
In reply to Re: Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by LittleGirlLost on June 20, 2005, at 15:35:27
> Does anyone here think how they dress affects how they talk (especially if you are like me and have trouble talking and opening up)? I think I dress professionally for T so I can be "the professional" (me) and feel more equal. I honestly think that if I allowed myself to dress more casual and comfortable, it would be easier to talk. I guess that's why I don't. Anyone else?Yes! Definitely! I have to get into character for certain things, and that includes therapy! In my case I didn't want to feel too comfortable because I was afraid I'd say something totally inappropriate (I never felt very comfortable with that erotic transference thing)... I just didn't trust myself to behave properly!
Posted by Jazzed on June 20, 2005, at 16:36:02
In reply to Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by happyflower on June 20, 2005, at 8:30:24
When I go to the p-doc, and now T, I like to make sure I smell good - freshly showered, but not neccessarily wear perfume. Maybe lotion or something. I want my make-up to look good - mascara, eyeliner, and lipstick, and my hair to be clean. I dress in jeans, gymers, and a t-shirt because it wouldn't be me to do otherwise, BUT I try to my jeans that don't make me look as fat. I don't dress up because I read about that somewhere, and would be self conscious if I did. I get self conscious very easily, and then what's the point?
Jazzy
Posted by Dinah on June 20, 2005, at 19:47:14
In reply to Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by happyflower on June 20, 2005, at 8:30:24
Or shorts.
And I make sure my hair has been washed no longer than the day before the day before my appt.
Other than that, no.
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on June 20, 2005, at 19:56:58
In reply to Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by happyflower on June 20, 2005, at 8:30:24
Yep! Typically, I make sure I have on makeup and clothes that are "slimming." I'm almost 100% sure that this is b/c my mom is always critical about my appearance.
I also often wear clothes that I think she would wear--scarves, big jewelry. I want to show that I can be like her--all grown up and together, or something.
One exception is that on days when I feel really hopelessly depressed (more so than usual) I don't wear makeup, wear sloppier clothes, and wear glasses rather than contacts. It's almost like I want to show her how bad I feel.
Great thread!
EE
Posted by cricket on June 21, 2005, at 11:55:49
In reply to Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by happyflower on June 20, 2005, at 8:30:24
This is a great topic Happyflower. I love it that we all have different takes on it.
I usually have to go in work clothes (and all my work clothes are black pants and sweaters) so not much variety there.
Sometimes though, if I can skip work in the morning, I wear this old pair of sort of greyish greenish jeans, almost like army pants. I don't know what I like about them (my husband hates them) but I love them and call them my "power pants". Maybe because I feel sort of tom boyish in them.
Anyway, now I'm off to therapy and I wish I had them on.
Posted by happyflower on June 21, 2005, at 12:04:23
In reply to Re: Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by cricket on June 21, 2005, at 11:55:49
>>>
> Anyway, now I'm off to therapy and I wish I had them on.
>
>
Good luck today at your appointment! Maybe you should store your power pants in your car and change before you get there!
Posted by cricket on June 21, 2005, at 15:14:13
In reply to Re: Do you dress up special for your T? » cricket, posted by happyflower on June 21, 2005, at 12:04:23
> >
> Good luck today at your appointment! Maybe you should store your power pants in your car and change before you get there!
>
LOL! Good idea.
Posted by messadivoce on June 21, 2005, at 19:14:13
In reply to Re: Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by cricket on June 21, 2005, at 15:14:13
Good question. When I had therapy with my male T, I always chose my best, most slimming outfit and made sure every hair was in place. It WAS like a date. Only worse.
But there was one week when I was sick and had a fever, but since I couldn't skip any of my classes that day, I decided to just do everything, including therapy. I really didn't look that good from a clothing or makeup standpoint. As soon as I went in there and sat down, he looked at me and said, "You look terrible." Thanks so much.... And then he said, "Are you sure you can do this today?" When I said yes we went on to have one of the most emotionally wrenching sessions ever.
Posted by Jazzed on June 22, 2005, at 8:52:12
In reply to Re: Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by messadivoce on June 21, 2005, at 19:14:13
>
> But there was one week when I was sick and had a fever, but since I couldn't skip any of my classes that day, I decided to just do everything, including therapy. I really didn't look that good from a clothing or makeup standpoint. As soon as I went in there and sat down, he looked at me and said, "You look terrible." Thanks so much.... And then he said, "Are you sure you can do this today?" When I said yes we went on to have one of the most emotionally wrenching sessions ever.Maybe we should dress how we're feeling, instead of dressing to impress! Sounds like it was beneficial, but difficult.
Jazzy
>
>
Posted by Shortelise on June 22, 2005, at 12:28:49
In reply to Re: Do you dress up special for your T? » messadivoce, posted by Jazzed on June 22, 2005, at 8:52:12
Brilliant, Jazz!
Sad? Blue clothes.
Rattled? lots of beads and bangles.
Dull? Faded blue jeans, faded shirt, tarnished silver.
Tense? Tight clothes.
Angry? Bright red, and boots, sw*shy (now, that's really strange. The auto-censor put an asterix where the "i" should be in that word. I can't imagine how sw*shy could be interpreted as a bad word...) skirt. Heavy jewellery that clanks.
Suicidal? Chokers. Crisply ironed clothes, a razor crease in the slacks. Black clothes, lots of black eye makeup - real gothic.
Avoidant? Sunglasses. Big sunglasses. Baggy clothes, lots of layers.
Regressed? Pig tails, bubble gum, knee socks. Pink.
Dissociated? Hm. That would necessitate wearing anything BUT what you might be feeling... that's a hard one.
Projecting? Wear just what your T wears.
Transference? Just mimic his body language. No special clothing required.
Heartbroken? Long strands of beads, long earrings, a long skirt, a long top, little flat shoes that need resoling.
Needy? No makeup, ever so slightly frayed collar and cuffs.
The possibilities are endless.
:-)
ShortE
Posted by cricket on June 22, 2005, at 12:44:15
In reply to dressing for feelings, posted by Shortelise on June 22, 2005, at 12:28:49
Posted by Tamar on June 22, 2005, at 13:47:54
In reply to dressing for feelings, posted by Shortelise on June 22, 2005, at 12:28:49
My family are staring at me asking me what's going on as I guffaw loudly, with tears streaming down my face!
I particularly liked Regressed...
I'd better run before my husband gets all sw*shy.
Tamar
Posted by Dinah on June 22, 2005, at 16:27:43
In reply to dressing for feelings, posted by Shortelise on June 22, 2005, at 12:28:49
Hmmm...
My every day attire is pink, with knee socks. And I often wear my hair in pigtails. No bubblegum though.
:)
Posted by Jazzed on June 22, 2005, at 16:38:27
In reply to dressing for feelings, posted by Shortelise on June 22, 2005, at 12:28:49
Wow shortE, you gave that a lot of thought! You're much more creative than I am. I was just thinkin' depressed - unkempt! Anxious lots of things to play with, like bracelets? That would say it all! When I was shy, I used to wear my hair in my face, like I could hide behind it or something.
Jazzy
Posted by Jazzed on June 22, 2005, at 16:40:37
In reply to Re: dressing for feelings » Shortelise, posted by Dinah on June 22, 2005, at 16:27:43
> Hmmm...
>
> My every day attire is pink, with knee socks. And I often wear my hair in pigtails. No bubblegum though.
>
> :)Hmmmm..... that IS coincidental Dinah! I did love the clothing for regressed. Well, I loved them all.
Jazzy
Posted by alexandra_k on June 23, 2005, at 2:44:53
In reply to Re: dressing for feelings » Dinah, posted by Jazzed on June 22, 2005, at 16:40:37
I try and go with comfortable.
But 'comfortable' is hard to do...
It usually mean that most things get thrown around the room because nothing 'feels right'.Sometimes I just feel comfortable. My clothes seem to fit okay and I feel alright. Sometimes I just feel awkward or wrong somehow. And so I try something else on and hope I find something that feels sort of okay.
So... My moods decide I guess.
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