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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by GreySkyEyes on July 1, 2005, at 16:02:34
Hi everyone,
I'm new here but I've been lurking for months now (see post on newbies)... the event that triggered my FINALLY getting the courage to post is the fact that my T is on vacation next week! She hasn't even left town yet and I'm feeling anxious. When she told me 2 months ago that she'd be out of town, I shrugged it off -- I think I surprised her with my nonchalance. But yesterday I was driving to my session and it hit me on the way. I had no idea I was so attached to her! I mean, I respect her, I love my sessions with her, but I didn't think this would bother me. I had no problem missing 2 sessions when I was out of town for a week. I guess it's OK for me to leave, but not her! I told her that and she smiled. She did tell me to leave her a message on her cell phone if I needed to touch base. And to journal during my usual session times if I want to. Aaaugh, it’s going to be a long week! :( Which is why I’m turning to you babblers... you all seem to have experience with this sort of thing. How do you get through it??
Thanks for reading... and I look forward to "meeting" all of you, you all seem so nice.
~ gse
Posted by Shortelise on July 1, 2005, at 16:32:46
In reply to T on vacation!, posted by GreySkyEyes on July 1, 2005, at 16:02:34
I don't get it - what's wrong with these guys, going out of town. Vacation? Holiday? From ME? Who needs a vacation from ME?
They have a lot of nerve, needing to get away from ME!
ShortE
Posted by daisym on July 1, 2005, at 23:57:37
In reply to T on vacation!, posted by GreySkyEyes on July 1, 2005, at 16:02:34
I'm glad you've decided to start posting so we can support you. Last summer we had a TOV club (therapist on vacation) and we knew who was gone and who was about to go and we all celebrated when they came back. So, welcome to the club!
What do you want to do with the time (and money) while your therapist is away? Can you do something fun and decadent for yourself? I'll also recommend coloring (I did that today with a 4 year old and it was sooo soothing) or chocolate anything.
Keep in touch and let us know what you might choose to do to cope.
Hugs from me,
Daisy
Posted by Dinah on July 2, 2005, at 10:23:28
In reply to T on vacation!, posted by GreySkyEyes on July 1, 2005, at 16:02:34
I get through it not well at all. :)
I shut myself down while he's gone.
Nice to meet you. I'm glad you posted.
How long have you been seeing her? I really hated my first realization that he was important to me.
It sounds as if she's sensitive to why you're upset though. My therapist always says something stupid like "Most of my clients are happy to get a week off from therapy. They feel like it's a vacation to them too."
Posted by Dinah on July 2, 2005, at 10:41:49
In reply to Re: T on vacation! » GreySkyEyes, posted by Shortelise on July 1, 2005, at 16:32:46
lol. You're quite right.
If we say we need a vacation, need to get away from the grind of work, that's ok. But we don't want to think *we're* the grind of work.
Whenever my therapist says something like that I want to say (and think I will next time) "Ummm... You do realize you're talking about me and our time together, don't you?"
The least he could do is say "I'm really looking forward to getting away from work, except for seeing you of course. I'll miss seeing you."
Posted by Daisym on July 2, 2005, at 16:56:17
In reply to Re: T on vacation! » Shortelise, posted by Dinah on July 2, 2005, at 10:41:49
Sorry, just had to say, MY therapist said he'd miss me and think about me and I have it on voice mail for proof!
Last year I made the mistake of saying, "so has today been full of people in tears, like me, over this?" He said (without thinking I'd guess) "no, not really. I think you are the most upset." Then he saw the look on my face and said, "but in the past I've had this kind of reaction many, many times. I can understand why it is so hard." Urg...
I did not ask that question this year. I did however yell at a friend of mine who is a therapist who is going to Germany for 3 weeks. "How can you leave your clients?!" I was aghast. She said she doesn't have anyone really attached right now. *sigh*
Another blow to the ego.
Posted by GreySkyEyes on July 2, 2005, at 22:28:04
In reply to Re: T on vacation! » GreySkyEyes, posted by Shortelise on July 1, 2005, at 16:32:46
> I don't get it - what's wrong with these guys, going out of town. Vacation? Holiday? From ME? Who needs a vacation from ME?
>
> They have a lot of nerve, needing to get away from ME!
>
> ShortELOL! Not like they have a stressful job, right? We make it so easy on them...
Posted by GreySkyEyes on July 2, 2005, at 22:33:40
In reply to Re: T on vacation! » GreySkyEyes, posted by daisym on July 1, 2005, at 23:57:37
> I'm glad you've decided to start posting so we can support you. Last summer we had a TOV club (therapist on vacation) and we knew who was gone and who was about to go and we all celebrated when they came back. So, welcome to the club!
>Thank you! This does seem to be a common complaint. I'm sooo glad to find people who understand... if I whine about how my T is on vacation, my friends will just stare at me and back away slowly.
> What do you want to do with the time (and money) while your therapist is away? Can you do something fun and decadent for yourself?
Mmmmmmm, could be a license to get even more Starbucks than usual! Or, aha, I've got it, the perfect excuse for hubby as to why I'm Allowed to Go Shopping!
>
> Keep in touch and let us know what you might choose to do to cope.
> Hugs from me,
> DaisyThanks for the hugs... they mean a lot. Hugs to you too Daisy, you seem to have been going through a bad time with this too.
~ gse
Posted by GreySkyEyes on July 2, 2005, at 22:39:46
In reply to Re: T on vacation! » GreySkyEyes, posted by Dinah on July 2, 2005, at 10:23:28
> I get through it not well at all. :)
>
> I shut myself down while he's gone.I had a bad evening Thursday... I'm hoping it was just a coincidence and not b/c she's leaving. I wanted to call her the next day but was afraid she'd see it as wanting extra attention with her leaving... you know how Ts read into everything! I did journal so she'll get an earful. Um, eyeful.
> Nice to meet you. I'm glad you posted.
>Nice to meet you too!
> How long have you been seeing her? I really hated my first realization that he was important to me.
A little over a year. Yeah, the realization was a bit strange. I've read all about people's attachments here and thought, man am I glad that I don't have that issue. Boy was I wrong! :)
~gse
Posted by Dinah on July 3, 2005, at 13:21:35
In reply to Re: T on vacation! » Dinah, posted by GreySkyEyes on July 2, 2005, at 22:39:46
It gets better, I think. It takes different amounts of time for different people, but it does get better.
A year is a long time to see someone. It isn't at all unusual that you would grow attached.
When do you next see her?
Posted by GreySkyEyes on July 5, 2005, at 9:57:17
In reply to Re: T on vacation! » GreySkyEyes, posted by Dinah on July 3, 2005, at 13:21:35
July 11th. (sigh) It just seems so far away.
I saw a T for about 5 years before and don't recall this ever happening, but I was 13-18 so I imagine therapy was a lot different at that stage in my life. Interestingly I don't remember much about it! Although I recall him being very tough on me... I was a bit of a snot so I suppose I deserved it. :) I had a T before him that I saw for maybe 6 months and was devastated when she moved. So I guess it all depends on the combination of T and patient.
It's just annoying to be my age (29) and feel so dependent on someone besides my DH. I was never this attached to even my parents. Hmmm, transference? :)
This is the end of the thread.
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