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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by cricket on July 14, 2005, at 14:51:48
Instincts or intuition or a 6th sense or something.
We were in the middle of a session and he says, "For some reason a poem by Elizabeth Bishop, what's it called - The Waiting Room - just popped into my head. You know which one I mean."
I nodded. All I could remember was the situation - a young girl goes with her aunt to the dentist and looks at National Geographic.
He shrugs.
But then when I get home I look the poem up and it fits so much of what I have been feeling, feelings that I couldn't articulate, that I didn't even know were there until the poem kind of gelled them for me.
And he's done this before. Says a book, story or poem just popped into his head but he never gives exact details. Just shrugs it off (Perhaps that's a manipulation on his part)but whenever I re-read, he's always dead on.
He's not very caring or gentle like some Ts and a good deal of the time it feels like he can't even remember the specifics of my situation, but he has an incredible associative mind that can be delightful.
So what areas do your Ts excel in?
Posted by GreySkyEyes on July 14, 2005, at 15:39:07
In reply to My therapist has great ...., posted by cricket on July 14, 2005, at 14:51:48
At first I thought the wrong thing when I read your subject line! LOL. Just my dirty mind hard at work.
Empathy. My therapist is very empathetic. When we rehash painful past issues, she will pause and say (something along these lines) "that must have been very painful for you". I know it sounds trite, but she is utterly sincere at that moment. Something in her voice, her expression, her posture. I feel comforted merely to sit there in silence and take in her empathy. It is very soothing.
Posted by Daisym on July 14, 2005, at 18:48:27
In reply to Re: My therapist has great ...., posted by GreySkyEyes on July 14, 2005, at 15:39:07
at helping me say what needs to be said, and at allowing whatever is happening to happen. And he makes it feel very, very safe.
I'm glad you had such a nice experience today. I think it is cool that he brings stuff up like that. What a nice way to help you express your experience.
Posted by spalding on July 14, 2005, at 19:12:05
In reply to Re: My therapist is great..., posted by Daisym on July 14, 2005, at 18:48:27
My T. is great at challenging me in a very intellectual, complex way that makes me work issues out much more deeply that I could have ever imagined. And he does it with humour (when appropriate) and utter care. He's really terrific.
Posted by 10derHeart on July 14, 2005, at 19:14:57
In reply to Re: My therapist is great..., posted by Daisym on July 14, 2005, at 18:48:27
...at conveying kindness. It's like he's not just *regularly* kind and caring - but way, way up high on the scale.
It's different combinations of tone, timing of comments, silence filled with respect for my feelings (i.e, not talking over a hard moment, but letting it be...) and the words themselves.
Like this week - and I can't recall the exact start of the conversation - but I know I'd mentioned feeling that if I made a certain life-choice, it would end up, "wounding my spirit even more than it's already wounded." Then there was a long silence with tears trickling down, and me playing with the cap of a bottle and NOT looking at him. I think I said in a younger voice, "You don't understand that, do you?"
He said, "Yes. I think I do. By the way you look."
I asked, "How do I look?" (a very scary ? for me to ask anyone on several levels...)
He said, in a changed tone - the VERY KIND one, "Hurt. Like you're hurt just imagining that. And like you're...thinking...well, you're always thinking...but I mean, really thinking of how much that could hurt."
I can't speak when he does that, I'm so grateful.
Speechless with gratitude?My T. is good at several things, but, yeah, noticing expressions or body language, then delivering a dose of kindness - he's especially good at that. What he does with that is like the best medicine ever. Like emotional holding, I suppose. I can never get enough....:-(
I like my T. very much.
Posted by 10derHeart on July 14, 2005, at 19:16:10
In reply to Re: My therapist is great..., posted by spalding on July 14, 2005, at 19:12:05
Posted by happyflower on July 14, 2005, at 20:01:37
In reply to Re: My therapist is great..., posted by 10derHeart on July 14, 2005, at 19:14:57
Posted by pinkeye on July 14, 2005, at 20:08:45
In reply to Legs! HeeHee I know I saw! lol (nm), posted by happyflower on July 14, 2005, at 20:01:37
Posted by sleepygirl on July 14, 2005, at 22:24:33
In reply to Legs! HeeHee I know I saw! lol (nm), posted by happyflower on July 14, 2005, at 20:01:37
you're funny!! all I can see now are hairy man legs!!
Posted by happyflower on July 15, 2005, at 6:15:41
In reply to Re: Legs! HeeHee I know I saw! lol, posted by sleepygirl on July 14, 2005, at 22:24:33
> you're funny!! all I can see now are hairy man legs!!
How about nice "runners" hairy legs with a total sweetheart attached to them! lol :)
Posted by Jazzed on July 15, 2005, at 9:15:17
In reply to My therapist has great ...., posted by cricket on July 14, 2005, at 14:51:48
Hi Cricket,
Yep, i was right in there with the rest of the dirty minds!
Cricket, I think your T and mine must be a lot alike. I've read your posts, and I get the "press conference" feeling sometimes, although I never really thought of it like that b4, I thought of it more as a teacher mode, but I think you were right when you posted me awhile ago and told me it's just going to take some time to establish the trust and feel a connection. I think after our last appt. I'm starting to feel like there's something there. I like my T. He is really different than most of the Ts ppl post about here. I'm starting to see/feel the warmth and empathy, and he's smart, it's more like an older brother kind of thing I guess. Someone to not let me get away with my normal BS, someone to light a fire under me, and someone who I can be mad at and they're not going to walk away or get mad back.
Cool that yours quotes things that you can identify with, and that GGs quotes from movies she likes. Something there besides the T persona.
Jazzy
Posted by cricket on July 15, 2005, at 11:53:46
In reply to Re: My therapist has great .... » cricket, posted by Jazzed on July 15, 2005, at 9:15:17
Yes, I was being provocative with the subject. Just in that kind of mood :)
What my therapist is not is mushy. He doesn't believe in "tea and sympathy" as he says. He's not a soft cushion that I can curl up next to. He's all angles and edges. Perhaps more like a diamond than a cushion, if I'm not overdoing the metaphor. He's brillant and yes, there is a warmth deep inside. But not cozy.
And for me that's for the best. As much as I sometimes envy the support and attachment that I hear other Ts give, I think I may have fled long ago if he ever tried that route. Perhaps it is more like an older brother, as you say, than a mother.
I'm glad that you're making some progress with your therapist. It's certainly not easy, is it?
Posted by Jazzed on July 15, 2005, at 16:44:25
In reply to Re: My therapist has great .... » Jazzed, posted by cricket on July 15, 2005, at 11:53:46
Yeah, I'd say mine isn't mushy, but it was interesting, I"d been thinking after the last appt. that I would just like to climb into his lap and have him put his arms around me. He was really kind to me despite my annoyance at him. So I do think he could be a soft cushion. Of course, I'd never do that! LOL But it's a nice thought.
I'm starting to feel the warmth and empathy as well as a somwhat no BS manner. I really like that, but I'm sure I'd warm up to most Ts eventually.
Jazzy
Posted by sleepygirl on July 15, 2005, at 20:59:21
In reply to Re: Legs! HeeHee I know I saw! lol » sleepygirl, posted by happyflower on July 15, 2005, at 6:15:41
you're killing me..I love runners' legs. Where are these people outside of therapy?
Posted by Dinah on July 16, 2005, at 8:31:25
In reply to My therapist has great ...., posted by cricket on July 14, 2005, at 14:51:48
Wow, that's wonderful.
That sort of thing is my therapist's weakness. He appears to be rather lacking in insight. Or maybe it's his cunning plan to force me to be my own therapist in that way.
My therapist's strength is how he feels. We were discussing this the other day when I begged him to let the Oz effect stand. To let me, through transference, to see him as being the font of all safety. He feels open and receptive, with a solid core. He was a wee bit miffed, I think. He told me the curtain wasn't all that thick and that people had been telling him all his life that he has a soothing presence and that they feel safe when they are with him. I believe that. He does radiate calm, even when he's angry. He doesn't throw off sparks or explode like a volcano like the people in my life do when they're angry.
He's not the teensiest bit warm. Warm would have scared me senseless at first, but I think I'd like a teensy bit now.
Posted by Poet on July 16, 2005, at 12:10:03
In reply to My therapist has great ...., posted by cricket on July 14, 2005, at 14:51:48
My T has a great sense of humor. She can usually make me laugh even just a little bit when I am really feeling down.
She has great aim with pillows. I threw one at her and threw it back when I was completely off guard. Pillow throwing is allowed.
She's sarcastic, too. Just like me.
Poet
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