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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pinkeye on July 21, 2005, at 15:22:18
I had a session today.. (2 more to go before I terminate with her)
I told her about my husband's hitting.. She asked me if this is something I invited upon myself since I am in a confusion about leaving to India - if I did anything to aggravate the situation and pick up a fight.. I said no. I was just making tea, and we had a very smooth day till that point. She asked me why I didn't call the cops.. I said I didn't have a visible mark or damage to show the cops even if I called.. Plus I don't want to treat my husband like that. She said if he continues to do that, I should call the cops - that it is like sticking up for myself..
I told her about my intention to hurt myself.. and my intention to get attention from my ex T - how I felt so manipulative.. She said, well, you can write without hurting yourself physically and express your grief.. I said I wrote to him already, and he didn't respond.. Then she asked what if he didn't respond after you hurt yourself? I don't know the answer to that.. But I told her I want him to realize what he has put me through.. How much I am hurt and angry.. She said that I have to own responsibility for my part in this.. That I put him in a pedestal and kept him up so high, that it is hurting me so very much. She said I have to stop doing that - putting people (especially men) in a pedestal.. She said, it was clear that my ex T had indicated long back that he was not able to help me through emails.. SHe knows about my repeated emails to him for the past 2 years and him responding only sporadically with a brief message.. She said, he had made it very clear that I was to leave him and find someone else here.. Only that I didn't take the clue and leave. And I kept him up in the pedestal and gave him this super important status in my life, which he didn't want, and didn't need, and I kept hurting myself and wishing it would change and trying harder every time.. and it all ended up in huge and immense frustration..She had said before the problem is my relaitonship with my dad - how he had molded me to expect that kind of relationship with men.. and that I was just replaying the same thing.
I told her how it felt guilty for me to keep talking about my ex T even when we are about to terminate, and how I felt guilty about not forming an attachment to her even though she had been the best with me.. SHe said she really didn't want that kind of intense attachment.. I told her she helped me a lot.. and she was happy. She said I need to talk to women more to get a better sense of myself..
I had to get it out of my chest..
Posted by spalding on July 21, 2005, at 15:34:30
In reply to My session today., posted by pinkeye on July 21, 2005, at 15:22:18
Wow, pinkeye, that sounded really intense. I'm glad you told her she has helped you, and she responded positively to that. For you to hear all that about your former T. and be able to tell her that was awesome, I think.
I hope you can feel good things about your session. Take good care.
spalding
Posted by Jen Star on July 21, 2005, at 15:56:50
In reply to My session today., posted by pinkeye on July 21, 2005, at 15:22:18
hi pinekeye,
I"m glad you trusted your T and were able to talk to her about this strong and personal event. I hope you found her to be supportive. It's always good to have someone to talk to and lean on in real life as well as on the web!I hope you're doing ok.
((pinkeye))
JenStar
Posted by pinkeye on July 21, 2005, at 16:54:33
In reply to Re: My session today. » pinkeye, posted by Jen Star on July 21, 2005, at 15:56:50
Thanks both of you..
She is just awesome!!! Damn smart and intelligent.She also remarked, how I always tend to view myself as being helpless, and how I always wished to be rescued.. She said I keep wishing that my ex T would rescue me.. and that I have to realize it is not going to happen. She said I always have a tendency to view myself as being a helpless little child victim and that I need to stop viewing myself like that.. and stop wishing for a rescuer to come and solve my problems.. I said I need someone in that role to give me approval.. that I can't go on on my own.. she said it is that way, only because I think that way. That I am capable of functioning on my own without getting support from men. That I infact, am better off by myself, without the men I have in my life..
Posted by rubenstein on July 21, 2005, at 19:28:49
In reply to Thanks.., posted by pinkeye on July 21, 2005, at 16:54:33
> Thanks both of you..
> She is just awesome!!! Damn smart and intelligent.
>
> She also remarked, how I always tend to view myself as being helpless, and how I always wished to be rescued.. She said I keep wishing that my ex T would rescue me.. and that I have to realize it is not going to happen. She said I always have a tendency to view myself as being a helpless little child victim and that I need to stop viewing myself like that.. and stop wishing for a rescuer to come and solve my problems.. I said I need someone in that role to give me approval.. that I can't go on on my own.. she said it is that way, only because I think that way. That I am capable of functioning on my own without getting support from men. That I infact, am better off by myself, without the men I have in my life..I often feel like that myself. Sounds like you had a good but difficult session. I will be thinking of you in the coming weeks. Take care
Rubenstein
Posted by crazy teresa on July 21, 2005, at 21:05:24
In reply to My session today., posted by pinkeye on July 21, 2005, at 15:22:18
What wonderful news! Congratulations!!!!
Posted by rabidreader on July 22, 2005, at 12:22:17
In reply to Re: My session today. » pinkeye, posted by crazy teresa on July 21, 2005, at 21:05:24
It sounds like you had an amazing session. I hope it helped and gave you some strength and pride in yourself (for being so forthright).
This is the end of the thread.
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