![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rabble_rouser on July 26, 2005, at 12:50:33
Hello,
Am wondering - does anyone know any good practical techniques for lowering the 'snapping' point, that is the level at which you lose it under stress?
My personal issue is that I respond very badly to any kind of mocking, even when its light hearted. Intellectually I know its meant to be fun, and can accept that a bit of verbal rough and tumble is a bonding experience, but Mr Brain doesnt see it that way.
When I get laughed at, BAM - off we go with the fight or flight response: tunnel vision, raised heart beat, anger, desire to fight back. Very difficult to be 'light hearted' when your brain is in caveman land ... My reaction is more internal also - I tend to just feel depressed and become very quiet, which is a particular pain in the *ss if you then get the "oh i didn't mean to offend you" remark - its impossible to act in a way that says you arent offended!!
I get the same thing with criticism, and hostility from others. I wanna be able to keep my cool!
Dont fancy going back on drugs just for one problem - any ideas / techniques?
Thank you!
Ross
Posted by pinkeye on July 26, 2005, at 13:52:13
In reply to Anyone know how to raise the adrenaline bar?, posted by rabble_rouser on July 26, 2005, at 12:50:33
Posted by rabble_rouser on July 26, 2005, at 15:30:29
In reply to Try Meditation. That really helps. (nm) » rabble_rouser, posted by pinkeye on July 26, 2005, at 13:52:13
Tried that - but my ability to get into state has bitten the fat one lately. Maybe its just a side effect of being in a place I'm really not happy with at the moment. Thankfully I'm starting a new job, in a new city, with my own place VERY SOON. I have a feeling a lot of this latent stress will go ...
Posted by pinkeye on July 26, 2005, at 15:34:36
In reply to Re: Try Meditation. That really helps., posted by rabble_rouser on July 26, 2005, at 15:30:29
What meditation do you try? Some of the real meditation methods are really hard to do - they need you to focus intensely on an image or light etc.. and I don't do that. I do some form of chanting - where I repeat the same mantra again and again and I have found that it is much easier to do, and pretty much same effectiveness.
If you wish, you can babble mail me, and I can tell you more about what I do.
Posted by Tamar on July 26, 2005, at 15:35:56
In reply to Anyone know how to raise the adrenaline bar?, posted by rabble_rouser on July 26, 2005, at 12:50:33
Hello Ross
> When I get laughed at, BAM - off we go with the fight or flight response: tunnel vision, raised heart beat, anger, desire to fight back. Very difficult to be 'light hearted' when your brain is in caveman land ... My reaction is more internal also - I tend to just feel depressed and become very quiet, which is a particular pain in the *ss if you then get the "oh i didn't mean to offend you" remark - its impossible to act in a way that says you arent offended!!
I am familiar with that feeling! I think for me it's become easier to deal with over time, which is fortunate because many of my colleagues engage in friendly banter that I once would have found highly distressing.
I suspect that a little CBT could help with this. If you have feelings that are out of proportion to the context, CBT can help you identify the thoughts that accompany the feelings. You can learn to challenge those thoughts and thus modify the way you feel. It doesn't work for everyone or everything, but I think this is the kind of situation that it can help with.
Tamar
Posted by gardenergirl on July 26, 2005, at 16:47:41
In reply to Re: Try Meditation. That really helps. » rabble_rouser, posted by pinkeye on July 26, 2005, at 15:34:36
Good advice, pinkeye. Actually any kind of repetitive action or thougth can help induce a relaxation state. I like types of meditation where you don't have to keep your mind clear, per se, but when you do get distracted you just go back to whatever repetitive thing you were thinking/doing.
Mantras and chanting are very good for that. So is following your breath.
Hmmm, take your own advice, GG. :)
gg
Posted by rabble_rouser on July 27, 2005, at 3:23:26
In reply to Anyone know how to raise the adrenaline bar?, posted by rabble_rouser on July 26, 2005, at 12:50:33
Hi all,
wow, thank you all for such a quick response! re the meditation, you are right - I have been using 'body awareness', breathing and visualisation type of meditation. I can make it work better when I use a CD, but I tend to fall asleep :P I have downloaded some 'morning mantra' stuff by Wayne Dyer which has chants - maybe I'll give it a double-click and see if it works - thanks pinkeye!
Re CBT - I agree. I had a year of CBT with a therapist which I suppose if I'm honest DID help me to lower the point at which I snap. The incident that sparked me at work yesterday was a real snowballer and took me by surprise - it was a person I had not met before, who was quite boisterous and confident and I found her quite attractive. I guess I felt like I had just suddenly been made a target 'for no reason', and I thought "oh no, why me again?!".
Thing kicker is , I realised after that the comment wasn't even a put down OR aimed at me - I just took it that way! Talk about 'the map is not the territory' - I was convinced that everyone was laughing at me so WALLOP, off goes my adrenaline! What I really hate is, because my sense of humour takes a vacation at that precise moment, witty come-backs are impossible too :(
I laughed at myself after, but was still angry that I had reacted like that. It makes me feel like such a party-pooper! Can I ask, Tamar, if this happens to you, do you feel deeply ashamed afterwards? I always do.
OK so - I am going to fill out a CBT sheet and do some mantras! I have also been teaching myself some NLP techniques on phobias and responses - I'll let you know if they work!
Thank you
Ross
Posted by Dinah on July 27, 2005, at 7:09:49
In reply to Re: Try Meditation. That really helps. » pinkeye, posted by gardenergirl on July 26, 2005, at 16:47:41
I like to focus on an internal picture rather than do anything with words. So I guess that's an option in meditation as well?
Posted by rabble_rouser on July 28, 2005, at 4:24:44
In reply to Re: Try Meditation. That really helps. » rabble_rouser, posted by pinkeye on July 26, 2005, at 15:34:36
Cor! The chanting really works!
The moment I feel the vibrations moving through my chest and body, I can't think of anything!
Of course, when doing it on a train, I have to hum at the pitch of the engine so no one thinks I'm a quarterback short of a football team, but its just so effective! I also didnt realise my voice could be so deep and resonant(and sexy... lol :D)
Anyway, thanks for the advice. I hope to reach enlightenment by next thursday.
:)
Rabble
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.