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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by octopusprime on September 2, 2005, at 13:03:58
hi, long time listener, first time caller (on this board, anyway :-)
me: 26 year old newlywed who moved to the US from Canada 8 months ago for a job. a bad performance review at work prompted me to call the employee assistance program (EAP). i feel the bad review is unjustified. they gave my coworker a bad review and are pushing her out of the team. the review i got was similar to the one she got last year, so i feel i am next to be pushed off the team. considering finding another job in [big co] or moving back to canada [which would please husband].
me continued: cyclothymia (mild bipolar) dxed last year, on and off mental health treatment for five years now, no counseling since 2002, medicated mildly (antidepressant and antipsychotic) managed by MD. parents are married to each other still and no history of abuse. addiction not a current concern (although i have gained weight). complicating factor: we were considering trying for a baby very soon before this review and related instability.
my goals: to help me decide whether i should stay at my job or go back to canada. i tend to run away and do something different in times of struggle. this impulse is something i need to learn to deal with. i have given myself a 4 month deadline for deciding whether or not i should return to canada and save my husband the immigration struggle. i can continue to go to work and search for jobs in [big co], but workplace is toxic and i need support.
him: doctoral student in clinical psych. licensed counselor in state. has MA. his write up talks a lot about the unconscious and alienated parts of self in collective psyche and dreams and fantasies and personal history and mythology. so more of the classic freudian stuff. he is a children's mental health specialist so office has sandbox and toys, this appeals to me somehow.
the first session (free, covered by EAP): i talk talk talk talk talk. he asks one billion questions. symptoms. personal history. medical history. relationships with family. social support with friends. etc. i tell him goals above. he says "i have some ideas about how to proceed. the first month will feel kind of vague. i think i can help you find some clarity in the time frame you propose"
oh babble matchmakers: do we have a match? i felt comfortable talking to him and communicating my needs and reasons for counseling at this time. i was somewhat surprised that i was matched with somebody considered a freudian - i thought everybody was CBT these days? anyway, i am comfortable talking to the dude but i am not super keen on vagueness. i am wondering if it is worth interviewing another T (with a CBT bend) if i basically think the guy i talked to is ok, if not necessarily clinically oriented in the way i think i need. i am willing to talk to him mercilessly about my goals of therapy and do not want to stay there forever. i have 30 sessions in my insurance and would like to drive to resolution of current crisis with some overall mood management techniques in those sessions and then terminate. however, i am busy busy busy these days and also not inclined to interview several potential T's of various clinical bends to help tend to a short term and immediate crisis (which of course is rooted in some of my longer-term problems).
what do you think: match or no match? how important is the stated clinical bend of the counselor if a client can articulate the goals of her therapy? and is therapy vague for the first four sessions or so by definition?
Posted by Annierose on September 2, 2005, at 16:23:09
In reply to going to the couch - calling t matchmakers (long), posted by octopusprime on September 2, 2005, at 13:03:58
I think the most important component of successful treatment is the relationship itself between the therapist and client. If you feel understood by the T and in time, learn to trust the relationship, then I think it's a good match. Only you will know.
I also think the first few sessions are "vague" (poor word choice, I think) because you are both getting to know each other. This is an intimate relationship. It takes time to build trust, comfort, etc. etc.
Good Luck in whatever you decide.
Posted by Phillipa on September 2, 2005, at 19:22:36
In reply to Re: going to the couch - calling t matchmakers (long) » octopusprime, posted by Annierose on September 2, 2005, at 16:23:09
A stressful job is not worth your sanity. Fondly, phillipa
Posted by fallsfall on September 2, 2005, at 20:04:45
In reply to going to the couch - calling t matchmakers (long), posted by octopusprime on September 2, 2005, at 13:03:58
Nice to see you! Welcome to the Psychology board!
Both the "freudian" and CBT approaches have things to be said for them. I think the biggest difference is that CBT works on the symptoms (makes the symptoms bearable), while the "freudian" approach works on the causes (makes the symptoms disappear). So it depends, in my mind, on how difficult the symptoms are for you (i.e. your tendency to run away).
Have you tried to address this problem in your therapy in the past? Was your previous therapy CBT? If you have worked on this issue in CBT therapy in the past and it still is a problem for you, then trying a different kind of therapy might help.
The fact that you felt comfortable with this guy is important. The relationship with the therapist is the most important element.
It is perfectly reasonable, though, to decide not to work with someone because of their orientation. What does your gut tell you? Does this guy really understand what you have told him? Does he have valid insights into things you have said?Hard decision. I hope that whichever way you go, it works well for you.
Posted by fairywings on September 3, 2005, at 6:00:31
In reply to going to the couch - calling t matchmakers (long), posted by octopusprime on September 2, 2005, at 13:03:58
Sounds like you were really comfortable with this guy, and he was asking all the relevent questions, and you covered a lot of ground. Because of that I sure wouldn't give up on him. I'd give it time to see where it goes over the next 3 - 4 appointments, and then determine if it's headed in the right direction. I agree that the type of therapy is far less important than the connection you make with the therapist. Anyway, the last therapist I went to was supposed to be CBT, and I told him I didn't want CBT, so we did insight oriented, although he did some CBT which was fine. I have no idea what my current T does, but I know we're not doing CBT.
Good luck figuring it all out!
fw
Posted by Poet on September 3, 2005, at 12:36:53
In reply to going to the couch - calling t matchmakers (long), posted by octopusprime on September 2, 2005, at 13:03:58
Hi Octopusprime,
You felt comfortable with him and that is a big match point.
Some part of you is thinking *looks like I can trust this guy even though I'm not sure about him being Freudian.* Another match point.
You are *willing to talk to him mercilessly about my goals of therapy and do not want to stay there forever.* Even if he's Freudian, he should understand that you are not looking for years of analysis (like anybody's insurance covers that!) Maybe what me meant by the first month being *vague* was that even if you only need short term therapy, it will take a few sessions to get to know each other before you really dig into your work issues?I would give him one or two more sessions to see if you are still comfortable with him. If it doesn't seem like he will be a good fit, then I would see someone else.
I was lucky and the first T I saw worked out. It's not short term- three years, but she likes me and I like her. I'm as comfortable with her as I can be with anyone and that's important.
Let us know how it goes.
Poet
Posted by Phillipa on September 3, 2005, at 18:15:04
In reply to Re: going to the couch - calling t matchmakers (long), posted by Poet on September 3, 2005, at 12:36:53
I once started a thread on how to find a good therapist. It was suggested interviewing a few but that costs money. I'm older and I would like someone my own age who can identify with me . And hopefully we'll be moving to a bigger area soon where there will be more. So how do you find a good one if you don't know anyone to give you a referral? Fondly, Phillipa
This is the end of the thread.
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