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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by JenStar on September 7, 2005, at 23:06:25
hi all,
I recently wrote a post about wanting to start therapy again. I was interested in seeing a T my friend had recommended, and I decided to see her. But then -- after I made my very first appointment -- I cancelled it!I told myself and my hubby it was about $$$, but it was also something else. I'm afraid to start therapy, even though I think I could really benefit from it.
Maybe I just would prefer to push all my problems down into a small little bundle and then ignore them, instead of dealing with them. But they don't smoosh down very well lately...
I'm afraid that therapy will bring up worse issues, that I won't improve, that I'll dredge up things that make me worse...etc. what if I get a bad case of transference? What if my T is mean? What if I want to run for public office someday (unlikely, ha) and someone finds out my medical records and calls me "crazy" because I've been to a T? Why do I even CARE about that?
Do you all feel that therapy is worth the trouble? how did you get over the hurdle of actually STARTING therapy?
thanks!
JenStar
Posted by 10derHeart on September 7, 2005, at 23:27:58
In reply to Afraid to start therapy - will it be worth it?, posted by JenStar on September 7, 2005, at 23:06:25
>> Do you all feel that therapy is worth the trouble?Not every minute of every day, or after every session...there are always some doubts, but overall.....YES YES YES! My quality of life and understanding of myself (and surprisingly to me, at first...) of others, has improved greatly.
>>How did you get over the hurdle of actually STARTING therapy?
This probably won't be too helpful, but when I started in 2002, there WAS no choice any more. I was a MESS with out of control ADD symptoms making every day too hard to manage, depression and severe anxiety I didn't recognize as such.....my grown daughter (age 20 then) pretty much gave me an ultimatum to "go get help!" one night, after listening to me whine, cry, and freak out over how awful I felt....again...
So, you see, I just had no choice.
My problem, which I really don't want to face, will be *stopping* therapy. It's become so very important to me.
But I'd choose that problem any day over not getting this kind of help for all the other stuff.
Posted by luvdove on September 7, 2005, at 23:35:01
In reply to Afraid to start therapy - will it be worth it?, posted by JenStar on September 7, 2005, at 23:06:25
Hi Jenstar,
I remember being in that place... I think I always knew that I would have to do therapy at some stage, and for me the pain of not doing it became greater than my fear of doing it, so I hunted round and found my t.I don't think you can know what will happen in therapy, or what will come up, or how you will feel about it. It is soo hard sometimes, and I had no idea it was going to be like that but sometimes things have to get worse before they can get better and when it gets better then it all becomes worth it!!! It's not an easy thing to do, but I think that anyone can benefit from it (if they put the work in) so my answer to your question is YES it's worth it!
About starting.. you may not find the 'right' therapist straightaway, and it might take a bit of shopping around until you do. It can be disconcerting to meet with one and not like them or connect with them and that may mean you need to try someone else. You can never know what will happen in the transference, but any good therapist will *not* be mean to you, it's more like the opposite of tough love which I know I'd experienced enough of. They're bound to very strict rules with confidentiality, so as long as you find a t with good credentials this should never be an issue...
Hope this is of some help, but I would say to you make the appointment and go!! I remember being excited about starting therapy, like more hopeful about getting past some of my issues, but it is scary and you gotta push past that to get to the good stuff...
luv
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on September 8, 2005, at 13:43:28
In reply to Afraid to start therapy - will it be worth it?, posted by JenStar on September 7, 2005, at 23:06:25
Mental health problems, just like other problems just get worse when you don't address them. You just have to take the plunge. It IS very scary. For the first 2 months of therapy I was so anxious before my appointment that I could barely stand it. I even felt a little sick. But my therapist is kind and gentle and we made it though. Now it is a great source to comfort to me and I look forward(a strage way to put it?)to our sessions.
Good luck!
EE
Posted by fairywings on September 8, 2005, at 13:59:32
In reply to Afraid to start therapy - will it be worth it?, posted by JenStar on September 7, 2005, at 23:06:25
>
I got to that place too Jen, I was anxious, and started getting really angry and I knew why but I didn't know why. I was already being treated for ADD, but no therapy to resolve anything, so like you nothing smooshed anymore.I'm terrified that my therapist will find out that there's something seriously wrong with me, and that they'll give me some scary diagnosis, and that I won't be able to handle it, because I wouldn't be able to handle that, and I'd feel like I didn't have control of my life, just like when I was younger. Yikes! Yep, I know how you feel. All this came up when I was writing the last thing for my new T, and I decided before giving it to him, I'd discuss all of these feelings with him, SO....I can let you know what he says! My appt. is tonight.
If your T is mean, you can get a new one. My last one said some mean things, and he could be harsh. I liked him as a person, and I made some great changes to my personal life - things are better with my husband and my kids, but he said things like, "At some point you've got to quit whining about what a bad job your parents did, and get on with being a strong adult." Well, okay, I got on with being a strong adult, and got a new T! LOL You can too if you get a mean T!
If you run for public office, maybe we'll all vote for you cause gosh knows we need better mental health care coverage, and you'd get that through, right? We don't care what your records say! ; ) Just go ahead and start, and if you don't like it you can always quit.
fw
Posted by fairywings on September 8, 2005, at 20:06:07
In reply to Afraid to start therapy - will it be worth it?, posted by JenStar on September 7, 2005, at 23:06:25
Hi Jen,
Well, I wanted to get back to you about talking to my new T about my fears about "doing therapy" and what if he finds out that there's really something wrong with me, etc...
He said, first of all, that he won't make me go anywhere where I'm not comfortable going. That he'll push as far as I'm comfortable, but when I say stop, he'll stop, or if I tell him that I don't want to work on something, that he won't open it up, unless or until I tell him I want to work on it. He is so nice, and I feel so safe with him. I don't feel like there's anything I can't tell him, which is NOT the way I felt with the last T. I hope you can take the plunge and find someone just as nice, and just as caring.
As far as diagnosis, he kept the diagnosis that my p-doc had, I guess they do that w/in the office. I didn't ask him if he'd keep it that way, but I don't think he'd change it, or add to it w/o telling me first because it's such a big deal to me, and he knows it. Maybe I'll ask him specifically next week.
fw
Posted by Shortelise on September 9, 2005, at 14:04:50
In reply to Afraid to start therapy - will it be worth it?, posted by JenStar on September 7, 2005, at 23:06:25
It wasn't a hurdle for me. The problems I was having were interfering with my life, I was too unhappy, I had to do something.
Will it be worth it? Maybe.
Good luck. It doesn'thave to be something that takes your life over.
ShortE
Posted by Dinah on September 9, 2005, at 19:39:12
In reply to Afraid to start therapy - will it be worth it?, posted by JenStar on September 7, 2005, at 23:06:25
I was pushed into it by increasingly difficult to bear panic attacks.
One thing I remember about being afraid of starting medication was that it was last card. That if it didn't help, nothing ever would. And I was afraid to play that card.
It didn't work like that of course. Medication helped some, didn't help some, but continued therapy ended up helping a lot.
It might be worth it, or it might not. At the very least you should learn some healthy ways to cope, if your therapist is from the most common therapy tradition, CBT.
Posted by orchid on September 13, 2005, at 9:21:37
In reply to Afraid to start therapy - will it be worth it?, posted by JenStar on September 7, 2005, at 23:06:25
Hi JenStar
You don't really have to go to therapy unless you really feel the need for it.
From what I have observed, you seem to be doing more or less fine, and generally quite well. Maybe you just don't need it. Unless you are struggling with some thing, or not feeling well, maybe therapy isn't worth it.
But if you feel you really need to work on something, or if you suspect something is bothering you deep down, therapy would be worth it.
If you are just bored and want to do something, I would suggest something more positive like taking up a music class or things like that. Therapy is like doing an operation - unless required, it is not needed neither it is helpful in making you feel better.
Just my 2 cents
-- Orchid.
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