![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by allisonross on October 25, 2005, at 15:33:15
Hi, all....new here ..I've been reading all the posts on people in love with their t's.....I could write a book about what has transpired in 3 years with my t (actually, I have.written..my memoir: Ghost Child to Triumph/from a child with no voice, to someone who speaks up against injustice), and have a publisher interested......The bottom line is (and I will work my way backwards, here, LOL) I realize that my t (still a brilliant, sensitive, empathic, the most intelligent man I ever met, etc, etc., etc.)and I don't say that because I love him (I felt that way BEFORE I fell in love with him. I realize I should leave him, because what he is doing is called "sex exploitation:) No, we are not having sex or kissing (not that that is not...what I want), LOL....and I have read tons of material about the t relationship, etc., and understand intellectually about boundaries, the frame, holding, etc., etc.....I went to him because my church (of 31 years wanted to vote me out of membership, cause I got a divorce after 31 years of abuse); he was an expert in spiritual abuse....and journeyed with me like an angel who just appeared at the precise moment I needed him...He taught me the most valuable words I'd ever heard: Restorative Justice--This is what you did..this is how it made me feel.....so incredibly empowering to someone (except for 3 years in the army) abused for a lifetime (in childhood/physical, emotional, molested), and then that pesky little 31 years of verbally abusive marriage (also physical abuse) ..I know I am jumping around, so forgive me; I would like to share my story, and there is so much...if you would like the Reader's Digest Version: www.psychiatricjournal.com...entitled: The Transcendent Child on Overcoming Verbal and Spiriual Abuse (amazing to be published by the psych's! I also have my own site: www.churchabusepoetrytherapy.com....poems of anguish, healing, hope and comfort (faith-based)....I fought the church for 18 months, and in the end, had my name put up on a big screen, followed by the words: CONDUCT UNBECOMING A CHILD OF GOD. I was standing up for all of the women who had been "counseled" by the pastor (of disaster, LOL), and 2 of them were suicidal! Anyway, understanding transference, as my t explained it, it isn't a word that is difficult to understand, and he said "most people misinterpret it; it simply means the feelings we engender in one another....but we ALL experience transference; it just means the feelings you feel for someone else in interactng with them, or that they engender in you...of course there is the technical transference which Freud spoke of (my t doesn't remind me of anyone I know or anyone in my past)---at least CONSCIOUSLY! LOL ... We joke and tease outrageously; he has said "I don't want to hurt you." I could write of a 100 things he has said and done that say: I am attracted majorly/and or/Iove you. He said: "As long as we discuss it, it isn't dangerous" Well, we have discussed it lots. it is the "elephant in the living room!" Double entendres......lots of stuff I don't feel comfortable including here...just wanted to vent, and so grateful for all of you! I have been counseling abused women for past 15 years (Consider myself an "expert" in verbal abuse, I lived it (except for 3 years in the army) for a lifetime, and did extensive research. Verbal abuse is rampant on our planet, and rarely noticed nor dealt with; ot even by therapists, unless they have been specifically trained. The book which i believe should be required reading: The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans; saved my mind (found it after 25 years of abuse) My t and others tell me I would make "a wonderful therapist." Thought of getting my license, but feel I can reach people a t will never see, and think I am where I am supposed to be....the old I can help everyone else, but not myself, LOL, LOL....Actually I KNOW what I should do (confront him)....leave, but I choose not to do this at this time....I think the only fear I ever had was that of being abandoned (every man in my life has abused or abandoned me), and here I am, alone for the 1st time in 36 (with the x for that long) years.....it has finally happened, but I am doing well and coping.....I really (please) don't want advice/because it would feel like criticism, and you know how we sensitive types are, LOL, LOL, but I would LOVE feedback, and be honored by whatever you will say...I know by reading, that you are all such lovely and caring people, all hurting people on the planet; hoping and looking to stay out of pain, in whatever way you can; if we can all be gentle and sensitive to one another...what a gift, eh? Love and hugs to you all ...aren't you glad I finally stopped?! LOL, LOL...P.S. Ironic isn't it....I am the client and I "get it"---as to what is going on, but I (being the hungry, needy for love, touch, etc....not even....to MENTION......sex, ahem!), but I....repeat I.....keep the boundaries! Wait til I tell you what I have planned for Halloween (wait til I tell you what I did LAST Halloween!)...Yup, i am crazy, a real mess, but i am...in a .controlled way!! So, enough about ME, what do YOU think about ME?! Beat me kick me, make me wright bad checks...On a serious note, a favorite quote: "I am more impressed by what someone has overcome, than by what they have accomplished."
Posted by orchid on October 25, 2005, at 15:37:35
In reply to Boundaries Bending (Love w/T)or: Abusing Myself, posted by allisonross on October 25, 2005, at 15:33:15
A simple suggestion if you don't mind.
It is hard to read your post. Can you format it little better?
Posted by Tamar on October 25, 2005, at 17:20:19
In reply to Boundaries Bending (Love w/T)or: Abusing Myself, posted by allisonross on October 25, 2005, at 15:33:15
Hello Allison,
I’ve read a few of your posts, so I’m familiar with your story, but I don’t think we’ve communicated directly before. It’s nice to meet you.
If I understood correctly, you were asking for feedback about your feeling that you should leave your therapist because you say what he is doing is sex exploitation.
I will admit I’m not certain what you mean by sex exploitation. You say there’s no sexual contact between you and no kissing. So I’m not entirely sure what’s exploitative. Did you mean the sense you have that he’s attracted to you but not telling you?
If that’s the case, I guess I’d say that I don’t think attraction in itself is exploitative. If he were suggesting that he’s interested in having a relationship with you outside therapy, then I think that would be a cause for concern. And if you feel he's bending boundaries, then I think the best course of action is to talk to him about it, but I know it's not easy to do.
If there are specific things that worry you that you don’t want to post on a public forum, feel free to Babblemail me. In case you haven’t done it before, you can click on the blue underlined name Tamar at the top of this post and your computer will give you a new form that you can type in. It’s email based so anything you say will be private and won’t appear here on the message board.
Of course, you can always reply here if you prefer.
Best wishes
Tamar
Posted by allisonross on October 26, 2005, at 8:05:44
In reply to Re: Boundaries Bending (Love w/T)or: Abusing Myself » allisonross, posted by orchid on October 25, 2005, at 15:37:35
> A simple suggestion if you don't mind. Not at all!
>
> It is hard to read your post. Can you format it little better? Since I am not very "techie" not sure what you mean by this. Can you explain? I'll be glad to do it, if I understand....Thanks! Allison
Posted by allisonross on October 26, 2005, at 8:17:09
In reply to Re: Boundaries Bending (Love w/T)or: Abusing Myself » allisonross, posted by Tamar on October 25, 2005, at 17:20:19
> Hello Allison, Hi, Tamar: so nice to meet you, too!
>
> I’ve read a few of your posts, so I’m familiar with your story, but I don’t think we’ve communicated directly before. It’s nice to meet you.
>
> If I understood correctly, you were asking for feedback about your feeling that you should leave your therapist because you say what he is doing is sex exploitation.
>
> I will admit I’m not certain what you mean by sex exploitation. You say there’s no sexual contact between you and no kissing. So I’m not entirely sure what’s exploitative. Did you mean the sense you have that he’s attracted to you but not telling you?.....sex exploitation/sex contact includes: suggestive remarks, sitting too close. I'll find that quote and write again, so I get the wording properly. He does the double-entendre innuendo stuff; he has (recently gotten physical)...maybe I will write more about this later.
>
> If that’s the case, I guess I’d say that I don’t think attraction in itself is exploitative. No, of course attraction isn't exploitive; no one can help how we feel; only how we behave, and I tease him outrageously, and he does...also......we are so much alike, it is scary (self-disclosure here) If he were suggesting that he’s interested in having a relationship with you outside therapy, then I think that would be a cause for concern. No, he has never indicated that, but he certainly IS having in a sense....a personal relationship with me IN the office. He said last year: "This is starting to look like a personal relationship." Duhhh..... And if you feel he's bending boundaries, then I think the best course of action is to talk to him about it, but I know it's not easy to do. I have confronted him many times about things that upset me, etc., and it has worked out beautifully (takes all of my guts to confront anyone, and to confront your t.....wow! I just am not ready to go there yet; matter of fact; I called him Monday (2 days ago), to discuss how upset I was by some things he said on Sunday night; told him I didn't want the anger to fester; wanted to confront it, resolve it and forget it---he said: "good job"!!! Confrontation always difficult for me, but I trained myself to do it, because if i don't, it s the same as abusing myself; well I could write a ton more, but will stop for now. That is the nightmare of the situation. I see the reality and KNOW what I should do, but I don't want to. I only live for my appointment (it is 2 hours----for awhile it ws 3 hours, and then he had a conversation with me about boundaries of time, etc; like I care, LOL< LOL >
> If there are specific things that worry you that you don’t want to post on a public forum, feel free to Babblemail me. In case you haven’t done it before, you can click on the blue underlined name Tamar at the top of this post and your computer will give you a new form that you can type in. It’s email based so anything you say will be private and won’t appear here on the message board.
>
> Of course, you can always reply here if you prefer.
>
> Best wishes
> Tamar
>
>
Posted by Tamar on October 26, 2005, at 10:21:48
In reply to Re:Tamar: Bending Boundaries/or: Abusing Mysel, posted by allisonross on October 26, 2005, at 8:17:09
Hi again,
>.....sex exploitation/sex contact includes: suggestive remarks, sitting too close. I'll find that quote and write again, so I get the wording properly. He does the double-entendre innuendo stuff; he has (recently gotten physical)...maybe I will write more about this later.
Yes, your definition makes sense. I guess I’m still trying to picture the context. Does he make suggestive remarks and innuendo in inappropriate situations? Does he do it in response to things you’ve said? I’m not sure what you mean when you say he has recently gotten physical. Has there been hugging? Is it something you want or not? Or perhaps you want it but don’t want it at the same time? And I’m hearing some mixed messages: on the one hand you say he told you it was starting to look like a personal relationship, but on the other hand you say he talked to you about time boundaries. So it sounds as if you’re not sure what his intentions are. It’s his job to make sure things are clear to you, but I suppose it’s also up to you to ask him to clarify things.
I think part of it is about context and part of it is about how you feel. If you feel humiliated about the double-entendres and innuendo, or if you feel you would rather he didn’t talk like that, then maybe you should tell him you feel uncomfortable. But if when he says those things you feel flattered and attractive, then … well, I guess you should still talk about how you feel… this is therapy after all!
I think there’s a fine line between flirting and sexual harassment. It’s like the difference between someone telling you that you look like a model and someone telling you that you look like a stripper. Either way, they like how you look, but one is more of a compliment than the other.
If you make flirtatious remarks and he responds by flirting gently back, then perhaps he’s doing it because he wants you to feel comfortable about yourself. I don’t think a little bit of mild flirting in therapy is inherently harmful; I think it can be helpful for women who have a profound sense of worthlessness. But at some point I think he’d be wise to ask you about how you feel when you’re being flirtatious if it’s something you do a lot. There’s nothing wrong with being flirtatious, of course, but for some people it becomes difficult to relate to the opposite sex in any other way, and that can get in the way of forming more balanced relationships. And a lot of flirting can be an indication that a woman sees herself as an object that people do things to, rather than as someone who makes her own decisions about what she wants. Not necessarily, but sometimes.
If you feel flattered and sexy when he talks like that, but at the same time a little bit as if you’re not completely in control, then I think you really need to speak to him about it. It’s not unusual for women with a history of abuse to find flirting enjoyable and bit frightening at the same time. And that’s definitely the sort of thing therapy should be able to help with.
Does that make sense? Or have I misunderstood what's going on?
Tamar
Posted by allisonross on October 26, 2005, at 13:32:35
In reply to Re:Tamar: Bending Boundaries/or: Abusing Mysel » allisonross, posted by Tamar on October 26, 2005, at 10:21:48
>Hi, Tamar! Hi again,
>
> >.....sex exploitation/sex contact includes: suggestive remarks, sitting too close. I'll find that quote and write again, so I get the wording properly. He does the double-entendre innuendo stuff; he has (recently gotten physical)...maybe I will write more about this later.
>
> Yes, your definition makes sense. I guess I’m still trying to picture the context. Does he make suggestive remarks and innuendo in inappropriate situations? Well, we BOTH flirt like crazy (that chemistry is on.....kill)....Does he do it in response to things you’ve said? He does it with...or without a response from me. I’m not sure what you mean when you say he has recently gotten physical. Has there been hugging? Unfortunately the hugging thing is a real bugaboo with me; after a year of hugs, he stopped because (I had confronted him on something he said---confrontation being excruciatingly difficult for me, but i have trained myself to do it; I know if I do not, it is abusing myself), so after the little "blow-up"---we talked, etc....he said he realized the innuendos and so on, and he didn't feel comfortable in hugging me (anymore), because HE didn't want it to feel too good. So, i feel it is cruel not to give someone a hug, etc....I want it very much (I even have an article for him to read regarding that subject; parallelling another woman's experience, and saying she "felt like a scolded child" when her t stopped hugging her; taking away something that was important to her....i told my t that it was never a sexual thing for me (apparently it was for him); I am going to give him the article shortly. There isn;t anything that shocks him, (I get shocked...a lot! LOL....or...that he won't discuss---authentic) Is it something you want or not? Or perhaps you want it but don’t want it at the same time? Oh, I WANT it, and have been, for a year and a half.... And I’m hearing some mixed messages: on the one hand you say he told you it was starting to look like a personal relationship, but on the other hand you say he talked to you about time boundaries. It's as i had said to a friend, it is the "Push me, pull me thing"----Come here, go away, etc......professional vs. personal/social....So it sounds as if you’re not sure what his intentions are. It’s his job to make sure things are clear to you, but I suppose it’s also up to you to ask him to clarify things. Oh, I know this, just can't go there now.
>
> I think part of it is about context and part of it is about how you feel. If you feel humiliated about the double-entendres and innuendo, or if you feel you would rather he didn’t talk like that, then maybe you should tell him you feel uncomfortable. No, I LOVE it; it's fun....But if when he says those things you feel flattered and attractive, then … well, I guess you should still talk about how you feel… this is therapy after all!
>
> I think there’s a fine line between flirting and sexual harassment. I don't see it as sexual harrassment, because that is UN-wanted behavior; i am enjoying the heck out of it!! It’s like the difference between someone telling you that you look like a model and someone telling you that you look like a stripper. Either way, they like how you look, but one is more of a compliment than the other.
>
> If you make flirtatious remarks and he responds by flirting gently back, then perhaps he’s doing it because he wants you to feel comfortable about yourself. He already knows I am comfortable with...and...about myself; as I told him "comfortable in my skin" I don’t think a little bit of mild flirting in therapy is inherently harmful; I think it can be helpful for women who have a profound sense of worthlessness. I love myself, and feel i am my own best friend (except for allowing myself to be exploited 'cause I need that stuff) haveBut at some point I think he’d be wise to ask you about how you feel when you’re being flirtatious if it’s something you do a lot. There’s nothing wrong with being flirtatious, of course, but for some people it becomes difficult to relate to the opposite sex in any other way, and that can get in the way of forming more balanced relationships. And a lot of flirting can be an indication that a woman sees herself as an object that people do things to, (nahhh) rather than as someone who makes her own decisions about what she wants. Not necessarily, but sometimes.
>
> If you feel flattered and sexy when he talks like that, but at the same time a little bit as if you’re not completely in control, (I -underline the word....I...am the one in control, and it's so amusing, he says he is "always in control," but either he is out of control with what he is doing, or "in control"---either one isn't very good! then I think you really need to speak to him about it. It’s not unusual for women with a history of abuse to find flirting enjoyable and bit frightening at the same time. I tease and flirt (in a gentle way with others) a lot; I enjoy it and it's fun and harmless (except with the t, doncha know)....my t says I am "dangerous' cause I do things in a subtle way! And that’s definitely the sort of thing therapy should be able to help with.
>
> Does that make sense? Or have I misunderstood what's going on?
> Sure, it makes sense......I will give you ONE example of the double entendres (without me making any comments; came out of the blue)...i bring candles (so peaceful), and he allows it....he went to light them and said: "isn't it amazing how these wicks are all lying down, and you light a fire on them, and they all stand right up?......then he says: "But you wouldn't know anything about wicks standng up....would you." As naive as I can be, I picked that up---immediately...and you would need to see his face, and the inflection in his voice, and it would be unmistakable! Smiles, Alice
> Tamar
>
>
Posted by Tamar on October 26, 2005, at 13:56:55
In reply to Re:Tamar: Bending Boundaries/or: Abusing Mysel, posted by allisonross on October 26, 2005, at 13:32:35
Hi Alice,
Thanks for your response. Yeah, I can understand that not getting hugs any more must feel like a rejection. Ouch.
It sounds as if you feel comfortable with the double-entendres and the chemistry between you. From what you say, you don’t feel he’s harassing you. And that’s good!
But it does sound as if you might benefit from a chat with him about boundaries. Especially if you’re feeling pulled one minute and pushed the next.
Thanks for the example of his use of double entendre. It’s certainly more flirtatious than anything my therapist ever said to me. I’m trying to imagine those words with my therapist’s voice and that look on my therapist’s face… I think it’s funny. But I think if he’d said something like that in a session I would have blushed so much!
I imagine a lot of people here would agree that their therapists don’t usually talk with them like that. I know you say you like it. I can imagine you want it to continue. And yet I can also imagine that many people might think it was a little inappropriate. However, your therapy is your own personal thing and I’m not going to criticise it!
So I guess I’d ask you: do you think it’s therapeutic for your T to flirt with you in session? If so, how is it helping you?
Of course, you don’t have to answer my questions if you don’t want to!
Take care,
Tamar
Posted by orchid on October 26, 2005, at 15:31:52
In reply to Re: Boundaries Bending (Love w/T)or: Abusing Mysel, posted by allisonross on October 26, 2005, at 8:05:44
Hi,
There are a few things which you can do to make your posts more easily readable.
I will try to share what comes to my mind when I write or read a post.
1. Split your post into paragraphs. Preferably, each paragraph should not contain more than 6 - 7 lines.
2. Write each paragraph with one theme or one point. Don't clutter too many things in one paragraph.
3. Don't use capitals unnecessarily, and use the punctuations so that it is easily readable and is fluid.
4. Use simple and full language and avoid unnecessary shortening of words.
5. When you reply to someone, check on the add name of previous poster on the form, so that the poster knows that you are writing to her.
6. When you include the original post, write your replies in separate lines and maybe mark it so that the reader can differentiate easily between what the different posters write.
You can perhaps do something like
>> original poster's post
----Allison
followed by your postThese are some general guidelines. Usually a paragraph which is more than a few lines is hard to read and grasp. Splitting into mulitple small paragraphs is much easier for people to comprehend.
Hope it doesn't sound too lecturish :-)
Nice to meet you.
Posted by allisonross on October 27, 2005, at 7:57:19
In reply to Re:Tamar: Bending Boundaries/or: Abusing Mysel » allisonross, posted by Tamar on October 26, 2005, at 13:56:55
> Hi Alice,
Hi, Tamar!
>
> Thanks for your response. Yeah, I can understand that not getting hugs any more must feel like a rejection. Ouch.Yup, really bites. Espcially since I am alone (divorce) now.
>
> It sounds as if you feel comfortable with the double-entendres and the chemistry between you.Yes, i do.
From what you say, you don’t feel he’s harassing you. And that’s good!
>
> But it does sound as if you might benefit from a chat with him about boundaries. Especially if you’re feeling pulled one minute and pushed the next.Well, I know what I should do. i have no problem in confronting him on anything that bothers me, but I can't risk losing the fun part right now.
>
> Thanks for the example of his use of double entendre. It’s certainly more flirtatious than anything my therapist ever said to me. I’m trying to imagine those words with my therapist’s voice and that look on my therapist’s face… I think it’s funny. But I think if he’d said something like that in a session I would have blushed so much!Oh, I do blush, and tell him things like he is so bad!
>
> I imagine a lot of people here would agree that their therapists don’t usually talk with them like that. I know you say you like it. I can imagine you want it to continue. And yet I can also imagine that many people might think it was a little inappropriate.It is.
However, your therapy is your own personal thing and I’m not going to criticise it!
>
> So I guess I’d ask you: do you think it’s therapeutic for your T to flirt with you in session?Definitely therapeutic for me.
If so, how is it helping you?
Simple one. It is fun. I enjoy it. I am of the life is short, have fun scenario.
>
> Of course, you don’t have to answer my questions if you don’t want to!> Oh, I don't mind at all. I am honored that you would care enough to ask.
> Take care,
> TamarYou, also Tamar. Hugs and grins to you.
>
>
>
Posted by allisonross on October 27, 2005, at 8:00:06
In reply to Re: Boundaries Bending (Love w/T)or: Abusing Mysel » allisonross, posted by orchid on October 26, 2005, at 15:31:52
Hi, Orchid: Thank you so much; I was drowning in a sea of technology! LOL, and you came and rescued me. I didn't think of it as "preachy" at all. So great to meet you too! I've already started to post the way you told me too. Hugs n Smiles, Alice
Posted by Susan47 on November 4, 2005, at 20:22:51
In reply to Re:Tamar: Bending Boundaries/or: Abusing Mysel, posted by allisonross on October 26, 2005, at 13:32:35
You said this "....i told my t that it was never a sexual thing for me (apparently it was for him);...."
but you couldn't say that today, could you? What made the difference between then and now? And were you even telling him the truth, Ally? I wonder if you were, and if you weren honest with you, because it doesn't sound like your attraction to him is all that recent.. you seem to be quite happy playing around with your attraction to him and not getting down to the business you know is at hand. So I'm wondering what this therapist is doing saying looking and hinting at that's keeping you stuck. And I'm wondering why he's doing it. And I'm thinking, Ally, you're not the only one. He has other women he does this with, maybe not right now, maybe not always, but you're not the first or the last either. Be careful Ally, you're going to learn, as I did, that you're playing with a shark. And you're a little old angelfish, well at least I was ... I remember when I used to try to dress the shark up in angel stripes. It didn't work, because he just kept proving that what mattered was him. Which is okay, because he's human and I can't fault him for that.
He just didn't know I was smart. Hell, I didn't know I was smart, why would he know?
Posted by Susan47 on November 4, 2005, at 20:34:54
In reply to Orchid: Guidelines, posted by allisonross on October 27, 2005, at 8:00:06
I'm wondering, you know, if you're not just enjoying all this apparently mutual flirtation so much because you trust him with it. Maybe it's not a problem for you, and I believe it probably isn't. You seem happy and all. But I am wondering whether it's a problem for him.
Here.
He's supposed to be the gatekeeper. He doesn't let anyone in who isn't authorized with the proper key.
You're the keymaster, you know you are, on some level you believe you are or you want to believe it anyway.
But if he's not keeping the gate guarded, and you're the reason why, then no one will ever need a key; this makes you purposeless, and him useless.
That annihilates both of you.
Therefore, you need to make sure you play both keymaster AND gatekeeper, or both of you will.. die. Yes.
I'm definitely maniacally sick. Ill.
Posted by allisonross on November 8, 2005, at 12:32:10
In reply to Re:Tamar: Bending Boundaries/or: Abusing Mysel » allisonross, posted by Susan47 on November 4, 2005, at 20:22:51
> You said this "....i told my t that it was never a sexual thing for me (apparently it was for him);...."
It wasn't.
> but you couldn't say that today, could you?
yes, I could. A hug is just that to me. A hug, just like when I hug anybody.
What made the difference between then and now?
No difference. i was in love back then.
And were you even telling him the truth, Ally?
It was the truth. I am always authentic with him. if i don't want to answer, I don't lie, I just tell him I don't want to answer.
I wonder if you were, and if you weren honest with you, because it doesn't sound like your attraction to him is all that recent.
It isn't----2 years.
. you seem to be quite happy playing around with your attraction to him and not getting down to the business you know is at hand.
There isn't any business at hand, other than it is good to have him, since I am alone now for the 1st time in 31 years, and he realizes I basically still come to socialize, but just like he says; even if I am not talking about the issue (divorce, lonliness), I am still....in a sense...talking about it. He is right on there.. I went to him because my church was going to kick me out of membership, and he is an expert in spiritual abuse.
So I'm wondering what this therapist is doing saying looking and hinting at that's keeping you stuck.
I don't feel stuck. I can walk away, I just choose not to. He is the pleasure in my .life right now.
And I'm wondering why he's doing it. And I'm thinking, Ally, you're not the only one. He has other women he does this with, maybe not right now, maybe not always, but you're not the first or the last either. Be careful Ally, you're going to learn, as I did, that you're playing with a shark. And you're a little old angelfish,
well, people call me a "fairy-child"
well at least I was ... I remember when I used to try to dress the shark up in angel stripes. It didn't work, because he just kept proving that what mattered was him. Which is okay, because he's human and I can't fault him for that.
> He just didn't know I was smart. Hell, I didn't know I was smart, why would he know?I get what is going on, and realize it isn't good for me. It is painful, but i would rather be WITH him in the pain, that alone with it. We discuss it.
This is the end of the thread.
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