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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by muffled on November 29, 2005, at 14:04:50
this time. This time. I'm going away now.
Bye.
Posted by alexandra_k on November 29, 2005, at 15:57:09
In reply to Gotta go away again. Caught it even sooner ..., posted by muffled on November 29, 2005, at 14:04:50
(((muffled)))
remember... children can be little firey balls of emotion at times... and somtimes... it is more about expressing their pain then it is about talking literal truths...
but yeah, sometimes little kids have insight and can call us on our sh*t.
maybe...
you can ask her to be more careful with you???
tell her about how you are feeling.
maybe... you can help comfort each other?
try and draw a picture
or watch some tv
or go for a swing
or something(((muffled)))
Posted by gardenergirl on November 29, 2005, at 22:01:06
In reply to Re: Gotta go away again. Caught it even sooner ..., posted by alexandra_k on November 29, 2005, at 15:57:09
Can you...
Throw some ice into the tub?
Rip up paper?
Find some blocks or other safe stackable things, make a tower, and then knock it down?
Dance wildly about the house to some loud music?
Sing something at the top of your lungs?
Be safe.
gg
Posted by muffled on November 29, 2005, at 22:04:01
In reply to Re: Gotta go away again. Caught it even sooner ..., posted by alexandra_k on November 29, 2005, at 15:57:09
> (((muffled)))
***Thank-you. Ahhhh.:)
>
> remember... children can be little firey balls of emotion at times... and somtimes... it is more about expressing their pain then it is about talking literal truths...
***Tell me about it. The more I get to be able to communicate with her the more we 'communicate' all right! Grrrrrr! She gets mad so all of a sudden and I don't even know why.
>
> but yeah, sometimes little kids have insight and can call us on our sh*t.
***Thats what she's been doing. I'm afraid she's proly right about some stuff. It sucks. I don't understand how she knows this stuff. Well I suppose I should! Its VERY confusing. She's ok, but got a bit of a mean streak.
>
> maybe...
>
> you can ask her to be more careful with you???
***she's very self-centered
> tell her about how you are feeling.
***haven't done that, keep thinking she just ought to know somehow....?
> maybe... you can help comfort each other?
***Hmmmmm, have to think on that one. I think i try and comfort her but she just thinks I'm full of sh*t.
> try and draw a picture
***Hmmmm
> or watch some tv
> or go for a swing
> or something
***she loves the forest, maybe I'll try to bond with her in the forest.
>
> (((muffled)))***Thanks again, all hugs gratefully recieved and enjoyed. I'm feeling a bit battered with this crazy kid.
You're sure great. Thanks Alex :)
Muffled
Posted by muffled on November 29, 2005, at 22:38:39
In reply to Re: Gotta go away again. Caught it even sooner ..., posted by gardenergirl on November 29, 2005, at 22:01:06
> Can you...
Throw some ice into the tub?
> Rip up paper?
> Find some blocks or other safe stackable things, make a tower, and then knock it down?
> Dance wildly about the house to some loud music?
> Sing something at the top of your lungs?***I'm ok now GG, but those are good ideas.
>
> Be safe.
***Ya, I don't get nearly so crazy (thanks T!), just got a sad fist and even sadder wall! But thats ok. WAY better than it used to be.
>
> ggThanks for posting gg, funny how it helps to think you not alone in your nuttiness.
I thinkk you gave me hugs on an earlier post, thanks! and thanks for that post too.
It is a tad overwhelming at times.
Muffled
>
Posted by alexandra_k on November 29, 2005, at 22:57:45
In reply to I'm back » alexandra_k, posted by muffled on November 29, 2005, at 22:04:01
hmm.
if she has a 'mean streak' thats probably her hurts... and sometimes when people hurt they lash out and so when she is hurting... well, that might be when she lashes out at you.and it can be really very hard to be kind and patient with someone who is lashing out...
but maybe... thats what she really wants / needs.
there might be some truth to what she says...
but maybe she needs to learn something about being more understanding of your perspective / situaiton / feelings etc.
sometimes it isn't so much WHAT is said but the WAY it is said.
and if you feel really very hurt in response to what she is saying...
that says more about her (being hurt) than it does baout you (because she has found some truth about you)it can be hard to get along...
yeah, maybe go for a walk in the forest...
sometimes a run can vent some of that energy too:-)
Posted by muffled on November 29, 2005, at 23:16:53
In reply to Re: I'm back, posted by alexandra_k on November 29, 2005, at 22:57:45
if she has a 'mean streak' thats probably her hurts... and sometimes when people hurt they lash out and so when she is hurting... well, that might be when she lashes out at you.
***Thats good. when she does the all of a sudden mad thing I need to try and figure maybe she's HURT. I'm such a ditz. I will try that next time.
>
> and it can be really very hard to be kind and patient with someone who is lashing out...
***Tell me about it. She can e completely and utterly unreasonable.
>
> but maybe... thats what she really wants / needs.
***hard to be kind and patient with someone WHO DOESN"T EVEN EXIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!I think thats a stumbling block for me. She's screaming 'I exist', I'm muttering,'your just and ego state or something.' I don't think I really treat her seriously, I do and I don't. Sh*t, this is so freaking NUTS. I am ME, who the f*ck she is, I don't know. Maybe I've been impregnated with an alien worm or something!!!!!!!Wouldn't be any weirder in reality. Sh*t. Sh*t I say.
>
> there might be some truth to what she says...
> but maybe she needs to learn something about being more understanding of your perspective / situaiton / feelings etc.
> sometimes it isn't so much WHAT is said but the WAY it is said.
> and if you feel really very hurt in response to what she is saying...
***I'm not hurt, I'm confused and annoyed.> that says more about her (being hurt) than it does baout you (because she has found some truth about you)
***God, I don't want her to exist
>
> it can be hard to get along...
>
> yeah, maybe go for a walk in the forest...
> sometimes a run can vent some of that energy too
>
> :-)
Thanks Alex, you're sure smart. I'm just so confused. So freaking confused. I think I'm getting scared too.
Sh*t.
Muffled
Posted by alexandra_k on November 30, 2005, at 2:45:27
In reply to Re: I'm back » alexandra_k, posted by muffled on November 29, 2005, at 23:16:53
> ***hard to be kind and patient with someone WHO DOESN"T EVEN EXIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!I think thats a stumbling block for me. She's screaming 'I exist', I'm muttering,'your just and ego state or something.' I don't think I really treat her seriously, I do and I don't. Sh*t, this is so freaking NUTS. I am ME, who the f*ck she is, I don't know.She is you and her feelings are your feelings and her thoughts are your thoughts...
Because they arise from your brain processes just like you do.
It is just that... It doesn't SEEM like she is you. But that is what she IS.
So I guess when SHE is mad
That means part of you is mad
And you feel hurt in response to her being mad
And get mad at her
And round and round it goes...And the only way to jump off is to be kind to yourself
And to her
Because she is a part of you
Posted by gardenergirl on November 30, 2005, at 9:41:48
In reply to Re: Gotta go away again. Caught it even sooner ... » gardenergirl, posted by muffled on November 29, 2005, at 22:38:39
Posted by muffled on November 30, 2005, at 18:21:27
In reply to Re: I'm back » muffled, posted by alexandra_k on November 30, 2005, at 2:45:27
>
> She is you and her feelings are your feelings and her thoughts are your thoughts...
>
> Because they arise from your brain processes just like you do.
>
> It is just that... It doesn't SEEM like she is you. But that is what she IS.
>
> So I guess when SHE is mad
> That means part of you is mad
> And you feel hurt in response to her being mad
> And get mad at her
> And round and round it goes...
>
> And the only way to jump off is to be kind to yourself
> And to her
> Because she is a part of you***Now thats cool. I am trying to get along, and really we are getting along WAY better. Its just hard to reconcile some of the differences, but its getting better.
Thanks yet again.
You really get me thinking.
:)
Muffled
Posted by alexandra_k on December 1, 2005, at 1:48:11
In reply to Re: I'm back » alexandra_k, posted by muffled on November 30, 2005, at 18:21:27
> ***Now thats cool.
:-)
And that means... She is just as real as you are.
Her feelings are just as real as yours are
So you better take them seriously ;-)>I am trying to get along, and really we are getting along WAY better. Its just hard to reconcile some of the differences, but its getting better.
:-)
Yeah. Internal conflict can be hard...
But working on intra-personal relations...
Can help us out with inter-personal relations too...
Posted by muffled on December 1, 2005, at 19:37:14
In reply to Re: I'm back » muffled, posted by alexandra_k on December 1, 2005, at 1:48:11
> And that means... She is just as real as you are.
> Her feelings are just as real as yours are
> So you better take them seriously ;-)
>
***That hit me like a 2x4 upside the head.
Muffled
Posted by alexandra_k on December 1, 2005, at 23:11:00
In reply to thats an epiphany THX., posted by muffled on December 1, 2005, at 19:37:14
hmm.
well i should probably say thats *my* theory
and most would probably disagree with me.i think most people...
emphasise that they aren't real...
but then how real is a self supposed to be?
maybe her reality as *other* is negotiable
(or hopefully she won't seem so *other* one day...)
but her feelings etc...
well they arise from your brain / body
just like yours do
so...
i would think...
they would be just as real as yours
and thus need to be taken as seriously as yours...and in my own experience...
i've found that trying to ignore them...
trying to say
'i made you up and you aren't real and i don't have to listen to you'
makes them worsei think...
they just want some acknowledgement
some acceptance and care
same as me
same as you
same as the next person...but i guess thats just my thoughts...
Posted by cricket on December 2, 2005, at 11:56:50
In reply to Re: thats an epiphany THX., posted by alexandra_k on December 1, 2005, at 23:11:00
> and in my own experience...
> i've found that trying to ignore them...
> trying to say
> 'i made you up and you aren't real and i don't have to listen to you'
> makes them worse
>
Oh yeah. I tried that a lot too. I can't post what they said back. It would really challenge Dr. Bob's asterick system.
Posted by muffled on December 2, 2005, at 12:00:56
In reply to Re: thats an epiphany THX. Muffled Alex, posted by cricket on December 2, 2005, at 11:56:50
> > and in my own experience...
> > i've found that trying to ignore them...
> > trying to say
> > 'i made you up and you aren't real and i don't have to listen to you'
> > makes them worse
> >
> Oh yeah. I tried that a lot too. I can't post what they said back. It would really challenge Dr. Bob's asterick system.***This stuff is so helpful, you guys proly saving me major stress.
I'm tired of my kid.
She's driving me crazy.
:(
Muffled
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