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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on February 23, 2006, at 9:40:24
Daisy's post to Mair got me thinking about why I think my therapist is good for *me*. I won't say perfect, but pretty good under better circumstances.
The most important thing is that he's so solid and feels so safe. I don't know how much of that is physical because he's a very large man with a very deep resonant voice. And darnit I think that may make a difference. Maybe I need a large male therapist...
The other really great thing he does (that's great for me anyway) is that he's completely nonconfrontative. And since I tend to have inherited my mother's tendency to be contrary (oh lordy, there's more than a few sessions), though of course not to the same degree, it gives me nothing to resist and if I try I just fall flat because there's nothing pushing back. Then I pick myself up and come to a reasonable conclusion myself that he couldn't possibly have pushed me into.
He's completely unflappable. Which is so important to me with two very flappable parents and a reasonably flappable husband. He does tend to get angry sometimes, and is more than a bit defensive, but by the next session he's forgotten it. Wait, the latter part might not be so good. There's nothing so annoying as being prepared to continue a fight from the previous week only to find a composed and calm and totally forgive and forget therapist.
He's inordinately patient. And he's someone who's willing to fight to relationship with me. He's willing to commit and to work on the relationship based on that commitment.
He doesn't use humor with me much, because I tend to be so literal. But he does use humor to view me. I love it when he laughs at me. Maybe just because Daddy did.
On the why he's not so good for me, I'd have to say that personally he's as disorganized a person as I have ever met. His life is not at all predictable or stable, and even before the hurricane he generally didn't know when he was leaving town till the day before. He keeps awful appointment schedules. Forget about expecting him to call when he says he will. He might even be a bit passive aggressive about it. He also tends to blurt things that I certainly wouldn't say and that can sometimes be hurtful. Off the cuff type things that don't seem related to his therapeutic purpose. I wish he would give more interpretive comments instead of always making me figure things out. Not push them, but just put them out there and let me mull them over even if I reject them.
But Daisy, any time your therapist registers to give a for credit course, my therapist says he'll attend as long as I pay his travel costs. It may well be worth it. :)
Posted by Tamar on February 23, 2006, at 18:51:25
In reply to Likes and dislikes?, posted by Dinah on February 23, 2006, at 9:40:24
Yeah, Dinah, solid and safe work for me too. My therapist is tall and also has a deep voice. I like it so much…
My therapist will challenge me, and I think that’s good for me. He’s also very good at keeping to his side of the room, which I think is best for me (even though I desperately want him to hug me sometimes).
I’m starting to believe that I can tell him absolutely anything and he’ll take me seriously. And also, I’m certain that he likes me and cares about me.
On the other hand, I wish he would encourage me more to talk about the process of therapy rather than simply the stuff I have problems with. I’m still considering trying to blindside him with a confession of love…
I see him tomorrow. And I’m still feeling as if he’s a trusted colleague. But there are parts of me who want more…
Good thread Dinah! And I would definitely pay my T’s travel costs to any course Daisy’s therapist might run…
Tamar
Posted by Poet on February 23, 2006, at 19:16:16
In reply to Likes and dislikes?, posted by Dinah on February 23, 2006, at 9:40:24
Likes
She understands my sarcasm and sense of humor. I can make her laugh and she can make me laugh or at least smile.
The few times she's pushed me, she always says *I know I'm pushing you and this is hard, but we need to talk about ____* If I say I don't want to talk about it, then she backs off and asks what I do want to talk about. I know this is just to trick me into thinking I'm in control, but she also knows I'll sit there with my arms and legs crossed and say nothing, so the trick works.
I think she really likes me even though I am in her own words *not easy to work with.* I like that she's honest, even if at times she's blunt, I'd rather hear the truth.
She does energy work plus therapy. She runs things she's just learned on me because she thinks I'm really receptive. She's taught me to run a particular type of energy on myself. I'm the only patient she's taught it to. So I like that she has confidence in me. I sure don't have confidence in me.
Dislikes
She still sometimes reschedules my appointments and I don't have a standing appointment anymore. She's gotten better- for too long it seemed like she was fitting me in where she could because she had better people to see. I know that's my paranoia.
She almost always calls me back when I leave a message, but a few weeks ago I was really in a panic state and she didn't call for two days. I guess I should have said major crisis, but still I said I was breathing into a paper bag...
Poet
Posted by Racer on February 25, 2006, at 2:23:37
In reply to Re: Likes and dislikes?, posted by Poet on February 23, 2006, at 19:16:16
>
> She almost always calls me back when I leave a message, but a few weeks ago I was really in a panic state and she didn't call for two days. I guess I should have said major crisis, but still I said I was breathing into a paper bag...
>
> PoetSorry -- it's just my mood, but that struck me as funny. "Yeah, I think that would be a tip off..."
I like your T for you, too, after reading your post. But I wish she had called you back sooner.
This is the end of the thread.
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