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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by llrrrpp on June 6, 2006, at 18:56:22
So, good session with T.
2 weeks in a row, he says I'm making good progress, and responding well to medication.
now. to change my worldview.
the fun stuff!yay.
hello world, I, llrrrpp have a problem with guilt. The most toxic emotion. the one that is not productive. guilt is a lose-lose emotion.
how to dump the guilt, and keep the llrrrpp? keep the compassion, and the kindness, and my inner bleeding heart liberal? How to change, when I've been so well trained?
Posted by orchid on June 6, 2006, at 19:00:21
In reply to Goodbye Depression, Hello Guilt, posted by llrrrpp on June 6, 2006, at 18:56:22
> how to dump the guilt, and keep the llrrrpp? keep the compassion, and the kindness, and my inner bleeding heart liberal? How to change, when I've been so well trained?----I am the last person to help you with guilt - because if there ever was a person on this earth who has done things all her life out of guilt, then that is me. Of course trying to change that for sometime, but not anywhere near.
Posted by sleepygirl on June 6, 2006, at 19:24:36
In reply to If you ever understand, teach me :-) » llrrrpp, posted by orchid on June 6, 2006, at 19:00:21
ah yes...the inner messages, what a pain in the butt those can be
a kinder to yourself, gentler to yourself kind of llrrrpp
sounds nice...now you can benefit from your own compassion
last thing I give myself I'm afraid (most of the time)
Posted by curtm on June 7, 2006, at 11:17:18
In reply to Goodbye Depression, Hello Guilt, posted by llrrrpp on June 6, 2006, at 18:56:22
I have lived most of my life without guilt. I have done bad things to myself and others and had no conscience about it. Some things were even premeditated, others experimental, perhaps. I have not committed misdemeanor or felony crimes against people, but have caused emotional harm to myself and others. Even in the form of harmful, hateful thoughts that they aren't aware of.
I don't deal with my past because of it. And I don't deal with it because of my past. It all just "happened."
The dam of guilt has started to crack, though and pinholes are starting to sray through. I can only patch so much at a time, it wears me out.
The don't when the wave will hit with full force, but if I don't let it, it will continue to grow.
I'm kinda scared.
Posted by llrrrpp on June 7, 2006, at 11:48:47
In reply to Re: Goodbye Depression, Hello Guilt **trigger**, posted by curtm on June 7, 2006, at 11:17:18
Oh,
((((curt))))
the holes in the dam where we hold our past in are scary. And you feel the wave coming. that's scary too. Keep talking about it. There's a lot of stuff that we don't allow ourselves to feel, because... well, we can't process it. But talking about it, putting it in context will help you a lot. You're not alone. You're not the only one who has done bad things. You may discover that your actions and your behaviors and your emotions may not have been your fault, or even your choice. I'm so glad you're going to be able to talk to T about this stuff. Nobody should have to be a dam. We should all just be a burbling mountain stream. meandering. sometimes finding a new path, sometimes flooding, but always flowing.My problem is that I learned very early that everything that happens in life can be "blamed" on someone. A person, not just a situation. All the crap that happens in my life can be assigned a specific person to blame. More often than not, blamed myself. Rather than attributing things to chance, bad luck or a crap*y situation, I thought that I was the agent. It's part of being raised by a scientist-atheist to become a scientist myself. There's no room for luck, no room for faith. It's all cause and effect. And the cause is a human, and the human is me. yep.
Today I make choices. I choose to be on time to my appointments. I choose to treat myself. I choose to love and to feel. Then I don't need to blame myself . Because if things don't work out, at least it's not my fault.
This is the end of the thread.
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