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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by orchid on June 9, 2006, at 12:33:20
I was listening to Fox news (just tuned in for the last few minutes though), and there is a new book on SI and the doctor was saying that SI is very prevalant among IVY league students etc.
Didn't catch the full broadcast so missed the name of the book, but incase anyone did and could share, maybe it will help some folks with SI out here? I don't know if there has ever been a book for SI specifically.
Posted by Dinah on June 9, 2006, at 12:50:49
In reply to A new book on SI? And IVY league students cut too?, posted by orchid on June 9, 2006, at 12:33:20
I have several good books on SI. Some of them help me feel understood, and some of them have ideas for reducing the behavior.
But I didn't reduce the behavior until I was faced with the knowledge that someone really cared. Not that they thought it was odd or disgusting. But that they cared about me enough not to want to see me hurt, even by me.
And they didn't put it that way, and I didn't really understand it that way, until I held my son and told him that, in exactly those words. But even though I didn't understand, it made me want to quit SI for them, even if I didn't care enough to do it for me.
Which is all a very long way of saying that intellectual reasoning and books didn't help all that much. It took an emotional motivator to help.
But the books did make me feel less alone and helped me reframe my behavior.
Posted by wishingstar on June 9, 2006, at 14:14:24
In reply to A new book on SI? And IVY league students cut too?, posted by orchid on June 9, 2006, at 12:33:20
I didnt catch this broadcast, but like Dinah said, there are several books out there on SI actually. They vary in how theyre presented, so it depends what kind of support/understanding you're looking for, but a few I have liked...
"Cutting" by Steven Levenkron (sorry, couldnt find the link on amazon)
"A Bright Red Scream" by Marilee Strong (I believe)
"Bodily Harm" by Karen Conterio
I also have seen "Women Who Hurt Themselves" by Dusty Miller but I havent read it.
There is also a memoir I read several years ago called "Skin Game" by Caroline Kettlewell on her experience with cutting. I wouldnt pick it up unless you're feeling safe though - it has a lot of potentially triggering material in it.
If you do hear what the other book was called, please let us know.. I'd love to check it out. As you might can tell, I read somewhat compulsively about all the "issues" I can relate to. :)
Posted by wishingstar on June 9, 2006, at 14:16:57
In reply to A new book on SI? And IVY league students cut too?, posted by orchid on June 9, 2006, at 12:33:20
Here's the link to "Cutting" by Steven Levenkron.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0393319385/drbobsvirte00-20
Posted by orchid on June 9, 2006, at 14:22:32
In reply to Re: A new book on SI? And IVY league students cut too? » orchid, posted by wishingstar on June 9, 2006, at 14:14:24
Actually I thought this was the first book on SI. I didn't know there were this many books on it before. I don't have a problem with cutting so I never checked it out before. If I catch the broadcast later today sometime when they rebroadcase I will be sure to get the name of the book. The doctor seemed good - so maybe it will be helpful.
Posted by wishingstar on June 9, 2006, at 14:38:47
In reply to Didn't know there were so many books already » wishingstar, posted by orchid on June 9, 2006, at 14:22:32
Oh, then I guess I didnt need to list them all out for you... sorry about that. I guess I just assumed you were asking because it was something you personally had struggled with. I shouldnt have assumed that, I'm sorry. But you know, even the half dozen books that are out there is really a tiny amount in my opinion, given the huge numbers of people hurting themselves these days. I wish I could have focused my masters thesis research on the topic, but unfortunatley there was no one in my program who would support the idea (due to lack of knowledge, but any bias or disbelief). Oh well. Rambling. :)
Posted by fallsfall on June 9, 2006, at 15:13:23
In reply to Didn't know there were so many books already ? wishingstar, posted by orchid on June 9, 2006, at 14:22:32
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,198224,00.html
In this month's issue of Pediatrics. Ask your local library if they have online access to the journal.
Falls, your local librarian
Posted by llrrrpp on June 9, 2006, at 16:22:55
In reply to Re: Didn't know there were so many books already, posted by fallsfall on June 9, 2006, at 15:13:23
NO! [gasp!]
Oh my god!!!
IVY league students? they hurt themselves?!?! Impossible! The kids with the pressure from all sides to be perfection. To have an application that represents the pinnacle of achievement? Community Service, Test Scores, GPA, A Save the World type Hobby, Being CEO of a multi-national corporation before the age of 18.
I had no idea that such individuals might suffer from psychopathology.
Well. this should just go to say that being smart in school is not the same as being able to make decisions that will lead to lifelong happiness. Having a degree from an Ivy League institution does not render one immune to insecurity and feelings of wanting to die.
Cutting in the high achievers. Well. I guess I'm one of them. Have a fantastic academic portfolio. Yep. On paper I'm la creme de la creme. And inside--- I'm hurting badly (sometimes, not always). The cutting, and SI is a way of saying to the world- take my hurting seriously. Listen to me! I'm screaming and no one hears me!! they only hear my smiles, they don't read my psychotic journal entries, they only read my scholarly papers. They don't care to ask about my emotional health, they assume that the proper answer to "how are you" is "I got an A on my last quiz".
Poor poor kids...
Cornell's gorges.
-ll
Posted by orchid on June 9, 2006, at 18:04:40
In reply to Ivy league TRIGGER, posted by llrrrpp on June 9, 2006, at 16:22:55
I am so inspired by your honesty and courage and insight. I was kind of the same too. Topper throughout, and though not as prestigious as IVY league, our college also was considered to be where the creme of the creme goes, and I was one of them and was a topper there too. And I did make it out big and ended up in what you may say the creme of the creme companies. But Boy, was I suffering.. crying and feeling jealous and envious, and feeling competetive and living up to the expectations. WAs it miserable!!. But it wasn't really the academics or the pressure that got me down - I was capable of handling them with ease. It was the fact that my emotions weren't attended to that was harder. And to top that, everyone around me thought I was always such a happy person - everyone saw me only smiling and happy and cheerful - nobody realised the hurt that was eating me alive inside.
Boy, I owe my first T and my husband for getting me out of that mess for my life time. I would never forget that.
> NO! [gasp!]
>
> Oh my god!!!
>
> IVY league students? they hurt themselves?!?! Impossible! The kids with the pressure from all sides to be perfection. To have an application that represents the pinnacle of achievement? Community Service, Test Scores, GPA, A Save the World type Hobby, Being CEO of a multi-national corporation before the age of 18.
>
> I had no idea that such individuals might suffer from psychopathology.
>
> Well. this should just go to say that being smart in school is not the same as being able to make decisions that will lead to lifelong happiness. Having a degree from an Ivy League institution does not render one immune to insecurity and feelings of wanting to die.
>
> Cutting in the high achievers. Well. I guess I'm one of them. Have a fantastic academic portfolio. Yep. On paper I'm la creme de la creme. And inside--- I'm hurting badly (sometimes, not always). The cutting, and SI is a way of saying to the world- take my hurting seriously. Listen to me! I'm screaming and no one hears me!! they only hear my smiles, they don't read my psychotic journal entries, they only read my scholarly papers. They don't care to ask about my emotional health, they assume that the proper answer to "how are you" is "I got an A on my last quiz".
>
> Poor poor kids...
>
> Cornell's gorges.
>
> -ll
Posted by orchid on June 9, 2006, at 18:49:43
In reply to Re: Didn't know there were so many books already » orchid, posted by wishingstar on June 9, 2006, at 14:38:47
Of course it is all right, never know, I might need one someday too. Though I haven't cut myself so far (except once a long while ago, that too only to scare and threaten my hubby).
> Oh, then I guess I didnt need to list them all out for you... sorry about that. I guess I just assumed you were asking because it was something you personally had struggled with. I shouldnt have assumed that, I'm sorry. But you know, even the half dozen books that are out there is really a tiny amount in my opinion, given the huge numbers of people hurting themselves these days. I wish I could have focused my masters thesis research on the topic, but unfortunatley there was no one in my program who would support the idea (due to lack of knowledge, but any bias or disbelief). Oh well. Rambling. :)
Posted by wishingstar on June 9, 2006, at 19:19:28
In reply to Re: Didn't know there were so many books already » wishingstar, posted by orchid on June 9, 2006, at 18:49:43
I certainly hope not! Not a fun place to go.
> Of course it is all right, never know, I might need one someday too. Though I haven't cut myself so far (except once a long while ago, that too only to scare and threaten my hubby).
Posted by Dinah on June 9, 2006, at 19:32:07
In reply to Ivy league TRIGGER, posted by llrrrpp on June 9, 2006, at 16:22:55
I know what you mean.
It wouldn't surprise me if it weren't in fact more common among "high achievers" because people really do think that if you're *doing* all right, you must be doing all right.
Posted by rubenstein on June 10, 2006, at 15:20:47
In reply to Ivy league TRIGGER, posted by llrrrpp on June 9, 2006, at 16:22:55
I being an over-achiever and still in school pursuing a doctorate have also fallen victim to cutting. Nothing you do is ever enough. You think you will find the top but it is never there. There is always somewhere higher to go.
Being a musician things are never perfect. No grades, so always the guilt....everything could have gone a little better for what is perfect music?rachel
> NO! [gasp!]
>
> Oh my god!!!
>
> IVY league students? they hurt themselves?!?! Impossible! The kids with the pressure from all sides to be perfection. To have an application that represents the pinnacle of achievement? Community Service, Test Scores, GPA, A Save the World type Hobby, Being CEO of a multi-national corporation before the age of 18.
>
> I had no idea that such individuals might suffer from psychopathology.
>
> Well. this should just go to say that being smart in school is not the same as being able to make decisions that will lead to lifelong happiness. Having a degree from an Ivy League institution does not render one immune to insecurity and feelings of wanting to die.
>
> Cutting in the high achievers. Well. I guess I'm one of them. Have a fantastic academic portfolio. Yep. On paper I'm la creme de la creme. And inside--- I'm hurting badly (sometimes, not always). The cutting, and SI is a way of saying to the world- take my hurting seriously. Listen to me! I'm screaming and no one hears me!! they only hear my smiles, they don't read my psychotic journal entries, they only read my scholarly papers. They don't care to ask about my emotional health, they assume that the proper answer to "how are you" is "I got an A on my last quiz".
>
> Poor poor kids...
>
> Cornell's gorges.
>
> -ll
This is the end of the thread.
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