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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Karolina on June 11, 2006, at 0:51:05
OK.........I promise this will be the last time I post for awhile. But I really feel like I am going insane right now. And I just don’t have anybody else to talk to about this kind of stuff. It’s gotten to the point that now it feels like if my T and I don’t end up doing ‘something’ sometime soon, that I am going to feel so miserable and depressed that I won’t know what to do. and I know that sounds really crazy, that’s why I’m worried about all this I think.
It’s just NOT FAIR. Why do I have to feel this way about him, why am I letting it get in the way of all the good work we have been doing together?!? Or maybe my feelings for my T are more intense right now because I’m feeling lonely without my stupid boyfriend (we’ve broken up recently…)
but I’m sick of this guessing-game crap during appointments, like does it really mean anything when my T: glances down at my breasts or legs, stares at me so intensely, gives compliments, etc?? I almost want to ask him point-blank: have you ever thought about me sexually?? Maybe if he says no then it will end all this ridiculous fantasizing for me…
or are Ts not able to answer a question like that ??
I don’t know what to do. I’d love to tell my T ‘hey sexy I’d really like to get on you right now’ or I mean like I wouldn’t say THAT exactly, but I mean like tell him how I feel about him BUT I am too scared he’ll get freaked out and be like we can’t work through this, and send me somewhere else.
I HATE right now…sorry I don’t mean to freak out about this. I just feel like I’ve lost my freaking mind...
-Karolina-
Posted by Jost on June 11, 2006, at 1:48:29
In reply to AhHHhHh!!!, posted by Karolina on June 11, 2006, at 0:51:05
Karolina, from reading psychoanalytic journals, I know that there are many patients out there who have sexual phantasies about their therapists--and therapists who have fantasies about their patients (although it usually isn't considered proper practice to reveal those). Often therapists will be able to to use the discussion of the person's fantasties and desires very productively.
Of course, the fantasies can't be acted on, but any therapist worth her or his salt should be able to work with this in a helpful, sensitive and perhaps very enlivening way.
If you wanted to be especially sensitive about your therapist's response, you could be discrete in first introducing the subject, and let him get used to it--or if he seems comfortable take the cues from there.
I would certainly hope that you could speak about them, and not be greeted with a defensive or threatened, or in any way disapproving attitude. hey--it used to be the mother' s milk of psychoanalysis--
It is important for your comfort too not to feel too let down that they can't be acted on-- and to feel affirmed by him--and also to see them as a source of potential strength and fulfillment in your life, and a sign of vitality in you.
Just a thought,
Jost
Posted by Karolina on June 11, 2006, at 22:52:11
In reply to Re: AhHHhHh!!!, posted by Jost on June 11, 2006, at 1:48:29
Jost,
Thanks so much for your response because I felt like I was going crazy. I'm glad to know that what I'm experiencing isn't something just completely bizarre and never heard of before in therapy.
That's a good idea about me maybe bringing it up first and see how he reacts. I really hope he will be understanding about all this and not get all defensive. And I really hope that I won't end up feeling too let down like u said but that he will still be positive about everything even though the feelings can't be acted on.
Thanks again
-Karolina-
This is the end of the thread.
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