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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by happyflower on June 12, 2006, at 10:00:28
My T asked me last week was there anything my husband can do or say to make any difference to me for what he has done.
I told him I couldn't answer that question because I really don't know.
I told him I just want to know why he did it. Was it because I wasn't fullfilling something for him or was it all about him and nothing to do with me. My T says I might not ever get that question answered but my DH should be at least willing to talk about what happened and tell me what he wants in the future.
Well he just wants to go on like nothing ever happened. He tried to come on to me again, and I am like NO WAY. So now that he isn't getting any from his girlfriend or me, now I am probably making him look somewhere else. But I don't care, I need him to talk to me and he won't, and he won't do therapy, it is SO frusterating. I just want to cut off his thingie so he can't betray me again, but then I would have to cut off his head too because it started as emotional and not physical. I really think I hate him right now.
Posted by muffled on June 12, 2006, at 11:50:40
In reply to A difficult question I don't know if I can answer, posted by happyflower on June 12, 2006, at 10:00:28
((((((((((((HF)))))))))))))
Tell your hubby that God gave him a right hand, USE it if you need to get off.
Men CAN and DO live w/o intercourse, its not a requierement of life.
Sorry he's being such a dink. :-(
Hope things get better one way or another.
Thanks for posting.
I think you help lotsa others you know.
Take care,
Muffy
Posted by Tamar on June 12, 2006, at 16:14:53
In reply to A difficult question I don't know if I can answer, posted by happyflower on June 12, 2006, at 10:00:28
> My T asked me last week was there anything my husband can do or say to make any difference to me for what he has done.
I think I missed something during the time I didn’t feel up to reading at Babble. Last I remember, you strongly suspected your husband of having an affair, but you couldn’t get him to talk about it. Has he admitted it?
> I told him I couldn't answer that question because I really don't know.
Well, it’s a very hard question to answer!
> I told him I just want to know why he did it. Was it because I wasn't fullfilling something for him or was it all about him and nothing to do with me.
I can understand that. Maybe if you knew why it had happened you might feel more able to prevent it happening again? I tend to take the view that it can’t really have had anything to do with you, because ultimately he was responsible for his behaviour. If he felt something was wrong he could have talked to you about it.
> My T says I might not ever get that question answered but my DH should be at least willing to talk about what happened and tell me what he wants in the future.
I completely agree. He needs to acknowledge that he hurt you very deeply. And then I suppose the hard thing for you is being able to communicate your hurt without guilt-tripping him. It’s a difficult balance.
> Well he just wants to go on like nothing ever happened. He tried to come on to me again, and I am like NO WAY. So now that he isn't getting any from his girlfriend or me, now I am probably making him look somewhere else.
It won’t be your fault if he is unfaithful again, even if you’re not putting out. But I hope he’d realise that would be a very foolish thing to do!
> But I don't care, I need him to talk to me and he won't, and he won't do therapy, it is SO frusterating.
If you want my honest opinion (and I know you didn’t ask for it!) talking it through is the only way to resolve this kind of thing. I know you were talking a little while ago about giving him an ultimatum… Is that something you might be willing to consider at this stage? Couples therapy or divorce? Or do you feel you’re not ready for that kind of thing?
> I just want to cut off his thingie so he can't betray me again, but then I would have to cut off his head too because it started as emotional and not physical.
I’m tempted to make sexist jokes about where men keep their brains. But that wouldn’t be fair because my own brain is in pretty much the same place.
> I really think I hate him right now.
(((((HF))))) I hope things get better for you soon.
Posted by happyflower on June 13, 2006, at 19:54:28
In reply to Re: A difficult question I don't know if I can answer, posted by Tamar on June 12, 2006, at 16:14:53
Hi Tamar,
I guess you can tell I am head deep in sh*t this week. Well when it sh*ts, it diarrhea's all over the place.
I don't know 100% percent sure that he has cheated. All the signs are there and he won't talk about it or even tell me he is innocent. So I guess I am assuming it, but I think I am right.
He won't talk about it or do therapy so I guess ultimatiums is my only option other than living with it for now. I am not ready to follow through with untimatiums, so I shouldn't make them if I can't right now.
Love the sex joke thingie, it made me laugh, and I needed that today, thanks. Butt.....
But that wouldn’t be fair because my own brain is in pretty much the same place
..... I didn't know you had one of those thingies. LOL
Thanks again Tamar, I am glad you are back on the boards. :-)
Posted by happyflower on June 13, 2006, at 19:56:20
In reply to Re: A difficult question I don't know if I can answer » happyflower, posted by muffled on June 12, 2006, at 11:50:40
Thanks Muffy,
I know all too well about that (opps too much info right?) I really need someone to love me. My life is so messed up. Thanks for your support, muffy.
This is the end of the thread.
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