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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Lonely on July 19, 2006, at 0:38:20
This afternoon my husband and I saw his MS neurologist for a follow-up visit at a major medical center. We requested a meeting with the clinic social worker as part of making a plan for his probable disability sooner or later. A neuropsychologist had advised this earlier in the year as had a primary care physician a few years ago.
She was the you-know-what social worker from-you-know-where. She never even looked at my husband's file but immediately launched into a lecture rather berating us as though we were looking for a free hand-out - we weren't. She was more mouth than ears. I immediately disliked her and she said something to the effect that she could detect my anger. I sure was and still am. I'm distressed at being misused by the very person who is supposed to be helping.
She asked me what my commitment was and had I/we worked on the marriage after I explained (in somewhat emotional terms as I am very upset) my husband's very serious and near-deadly history of behavior. I really expected more sensitivity and gentle questioning - not the insensitive steam roller who shot off her mouth w/o exploring the real issues.
She never gave us any real solid information except to say that a nursing home stay would take most any funds we have (including what I might earn) when my husband needs nursing home care. I know there must be trusts that can be set up and at the end she admitted to it but sure didn't give any suggestions, referrals, agencies or anything else. This was just one mean insensitive you-know-what !!!!!
I guess my question is - where can I complain? Where can I get more comprehensive information? Where can I get a trust or whatever drawn up to protect me? Money is an issue - I would have to mortgage the house to get $4,000 to pay a good attorney - at least that's my impression from someone I talked to in a support group.
This is a very complex situation. Ironically, though, for once, one doctor there seemed to understand better than anyone else - and usually MD's are at the bottom of my list! I'm scared and feel completely unsupported in this - as I've felt for many years. I go to a social worker T myself and I'll talk to her about this but not so sure she has the answers even thought today's social worker implied that she should. These sojourns (forays?)into what I now consider the enemy camp are definitely not theraputic.
Posted by Racer on July 19, 2006, at 1:28:57
In reply to Social Worker Anything BUT Theraputic, posted by Lonely on July 19, 2006, at 0:38:20
Nope, that doesn't sound at all therapeutic. And I don't know what to say, beyond telling you that I'm very sorry you had to experience that.
On to practical matters...
If you don't mind it being really quick and dirty, you can call your local Bar association, which usually has a legal referral service, where an attorney will see you for half an hour at a very greatly reduced rate. (Something like $50, which is a bargain, around here.) You can use that to find out what you'll need to look for to get the legal side worked out. You obviously won't get all of it set up, but at least you'll have the basic facts you need.
Also, if you have some mental energy, check your library for books from Nolo Press -- they should have a book on trusts, etc. Their books are very good, and they usually have forms you can just fill in, which would certainly save you a ton in legal fees. You can even do the Nolo Press bit, and then see that attorney to get it checked out.
As for the (anti)social worker, they're licensed, by the State, so you can check your state's website to find the board to which you complain. Basically, all you'll get is a letter saying something to the effect that they don't know why you'd bother to write, but they're keeping your letter on file in case someone complains about the licensee. Unless, of course, she has a series of complaints against her, in which case, they'll check it out. I know it's not quite right, but it's what I found when I made a complaint against a doctor and an MFT.
Anyway, I hope that's helpful. Good luck, and I'm sorry you're getting hit with so much.
Posted by Dinah on July 19, 2006, at 11:31:22
In reply to Social Worker Anything BUT Theraputic, posted by Lonely on July 19, 2006, at 0:38:20
My experience with social workers in that type of setting is that they are more solution oriented and not always focused on the therapeutic but rather the practical.
There seems to be a fair amount of information on the web about medicaid planning to protect assets for the well spouse. But it might depend a lot on state law. Legal aid might be a good place to start.
Posted by 10derHeart on July 19, 2006, at 15:13:43
In reply to Social Worker Anything BUT Theraputic, posted by Lonely on July 19, 2006, at 0:38:20
And to follow up Racer's good suggestion...here's the Nolo website:
They are really good - as a former paralegal, I used to recommend them to people frequently.
Like Dinah mentioned, you may want to do a search on 'asset protection nursing home care' for your state. I hear radio ads where I live all the time from firms who specialize in this. I realize those are places where you may well need something like $4K to be seen, but maybe not so much. It could vary widely. Sometimes, you'll find a sympathetic paralegal, receptionist, legal secretary who'll recommend someone in your area who does pro bono work - or at least will accept a reduced fee.
And yes, legal aid is a good place to start. I also agree with what Dinah said about social workers' focus, but I think pointing toward these types of services *is* the practical stuff she should have provided - and *without* the attitude! Sorry for that experience....it's always jarring to have a professional act in a way that appears quite unprofessional, and even uncivil.
Hang in there, Lonely.
This is the end of the thread.
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