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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by GeneralSchlong on November 16, 2006, at 21:50:58
What do you do if youre beyond therapy help? I feel better in some ways after therapy...venting and everything. But I rarely feel happier in any way. What if life as a whole, or things you can't change or have no power or understanding of depresses you? Like death, aging, the overwhelming cruelty of the world and how it works, how there really is no meaning or purpose in life, or just how small, insignificant, and unimportant you are in the huge picture of the universe. (Please no one get religious on me...I'm not against it, but it doesn't work for me here). I have tons of issues outside of this that I'm working on, but I don't feel a lot of motivation to do it because its the unchangeable stuff that has always really gotten to me. I almost don't feel like going to therapy anymore because nothing can be done about those things and that's what I want. Good thing my therapist's so hot, otherwise I'd so cancel next week.
Posted by GeneralSchlong on November 16, 2006, at 21:54:53
In reply to No cure for life, posted by GeneralSchlong on November 16, 2006, at 21:50:58
Oh and I'm not sure if I should put a <trigger> thing in the subject line. Does that mean it could trigger someone to get really upset/angry, etc? I'm new here...
Posted by adrift on November 16, 2006, at 22:04:02
In reply to Re: No cure for life, posted by GeneralSchlong on November 16, 2006, at 21:54:53
I don't know the answer to your question but I understand where you are coming from. I feel beyond it too, it is starting to hit me that the only one who can help me beyond where I am, is me. the venting is helpful to some extent, but we need something within us to go on from there. I think...
not much help, sorry
Posted by Dinah on November 16, 2006, at 22:24:09
In reply to No cure for life, posted by GeneralSchlong on November 16, 2006, at 21:50:58
Well, I'm no expert, but my guess is this.
No, you can't change anything from global warming to your spouse using one knife for both peanut butter and jelly.
All you can change is yourself. Including your own reactions to global warming and your spouse's peanut butter habits.
And therapy can help you do that, if you wish to do it. If you don't wish to do it, then therapy can't help you in that way.
Posted by GeneralSchlong on November 17, 2006, at 0:54:59
In reply to Re: No cure for life, posted by Dinah on November 16, 2006, at 22:24:09
Thanks everyone
...and yeah I know I can only change myself. But I was referring to things bigger than a spouse and the peanut butter and jelly thing and even bigger than global warming. My own reactions won't really make a difference when it comes to whether or not me and everything I love is eventually going to disintegrate into soil.
But I get that I can only change the things about myself.
Posted by madeline on November 17, 2006, at 7:24:59
In reply to Re: No cure for life, posted by GeneralSchlong on November 17, 2006, at 0:54:59
It's true that nothing here is permanent. It is also true that time moves on, things age and die and even the strongest fall to it.
It's perhaps somewhat ironic that humans fully comprehend the fact that one day we are going to die and yet we still have to live thinking that it will never happen.
However, what that tells me is that it's our job to make the most of the time we are given.
And as you have already acknowledged, the choice to make the most of our lives is ours to make.
It's a struggle, but it's worth it. It HAS to be - it's all we have.
Maddie.
Posted by Dinah on November 17, 2006, at 9:00:41
In reply to Re: No cure for life » GeneralSchlong, posted by madeline on November 17, 2006, at 7:24:59
It's funny, but I accepted the dust to dust thing long ago. I know that I too will die, but it doesn't bother me overly much. I've held so many dying dogs, and my father when he was dying. My best friend I didn't hold, but I was there. Nearly everyone I love most is dead, except my husband and son.
And I used to think a lot about how people long ago died so much younger and in greater numbers than now.
And, I don't know. I just grew accepting of it, in some ways. Death brings a lot of pain to those left behind. I know that and I don't minimize it. A day rarely goes by that I don't miss someone I loved. But it's natural, and it's not a terrible thing. Well, it's a terrible thing for a life to be snatched too young and before its time. But death itself doesn't seem too awful.
I had seen so many dogs die over the years that I'd gotten to know the look of dying. That faraway not quite still here look. Like they were divesting themselves of all the things that kept them here and preparing themselves for the business ahead. And I've seen it in a few humans too.
I hope that everyone I have left dies of old age with plenty of time to prepare that way. Heck, I hope they outlive me. I've forbidden my husband to predecease me. It's lonely to be old.
But I don't fear death. Everything that has ever lived has died or is going to die. I figure anything that universal can't be that bad.
Just lonely for those left behind.
That's why it *is* important to enjoy them while you can. I think a lot of times I mourn that as much as their loss. The times I could have spent with them and enjoyed them, but didn't.
Posted by orchid on November 17, 2006, at 12:35:14
In reply to Re: No cure for life, posted by GeneralSchlong on November 17, 2006, at 0:54:59
I think only religions have held even the hope of answering these kind of questions. From eternal life in heaven to birth death cycles - some form of eternity and good life after death is promised by almost all religion. And humans need that answer and hope so dearly. Otherwise a little bit of intelligence is all it takes to figure out that life is not that worth it. If I am going to simply become dust, then why even bother with anything? Why be moral? Why be good to others? That is why in spite of so many odds religions have survived in capturing people's attention for centuries. No other theory has stood the test of time.
So my short way of answering is, if you decide not to look at religion, then there simply is no answer, and only frustration will remain :-). And logically speaking, it is better to believe in something (some religion which holds some meaning to life and after life instead of we are only dust and some chemicals and came by some random chance theory) which might have a chance of being true than to spend your life in total frustration. :-)
Posted by GeneralSchlong on November 17, 2006, at 16:54:54
In reply to Re: No cure for life, posted by orchid on November 17, 2006, at 12:35:14
Thanks for taking the time to reply everyone- I really appreciate it. Its better than the "try not to think about it" answer I usually get.
Yeah, I've tried to believe in anything religion but I can't make myself believe in something I don't just because not doing so would only bring frustration. I've tried though. And I know why humans are religious, and that reason only makes me more depressed as I think it proves my point more. If there was nothing to believe in or follow and everyone believed what I did, the whole world would be in a lot more chaos than it is now.
I guess there's not much of a point or reason for me to go into the whole meaning of life and afterlife vs. "some chemicals and random chance theory" statement. It would just turn into some endless debate with no one changing their mind and a redirection to the "spiritual" board by Dr. Bob. Oh and it'd just bring more depression and frustration.
Still- much thanks to adrift, Dinah, madeline, and ze orchid. <3
Posted by orchid on November 17, 2006, at 17:21:17
In reply to Re: No cure for life, posted by GeneralSchlong on November 17, 2006, at 16:54:54
Another way to look at things would be to simply admit that we don't know the answer, and place our bet on the fact that whatever it is that created this world, either God or some higher intelligence or whatever/whoever that is, probably knows better than we do. And they must have had a very good reason to go into this huge ordeal of creating everything. And if somemone had enough intelligence to create this and put us here, there must have been a pretty good reason for it, even if it is beyond our conceptual ability. And simply to have faith in that, and go by leading our lives the way we know best.
And faith is an innate part of our lives. Every day we have some faith in something or the other. Even the simple task of planning for tomorrow, needs some faith that we will be alive tomorrow. The question therefore is whether we are placing blind faith on something, or choosing to have a faith based on some evidence and value.
Agreed there is no real yes or no answer to these questions, but as a person who had been atheistic before and have now chosen to believe, I thought I might answer if it could be even of a little bit help.
Posted by Declan on November 17, 2006, at 20:19:37
In reply to Re: No cure for life, posted by Dinah on November 16, 2006, at 22:24:09
It's one of those things that is said that you can't change anything except how you feel about things, but I don't think you can even change that.
It can change, but you can't make it. Soon I'll be talking about a higher power.
Posted by Declan on November 17, 2006, at 20:24:28
In reply to Re: No cure for life, posted by Dinah on November 17, 2006, at 9:00:41
If things were permanent it would be a horror show, IMO.
Life is sad (of course) but the temporary nature of things is some reason and encouragement to make the best of them while we can.On the subject of happiness, I wonder if you get better results with lower expectations?
Posted by Dinah on November 17, 2006, at 21:24:35
In reply to Re: No cure for life, posted by Declan on November 17, 2006, at 20:24:28
You can't make yourself feel differently about things, but if you are willing, you can learn to feel differently about things. Or at least that's been my experience.
And low expectations have always been my key to happiness.
Ugh. I say that like my life hasn't been great. And it really has. I married the first man I ever loved, I have the best son I could have ever imagined. But in the day to day things, I still believe in low expectations.
Posted by GeneralSchlong on November 17, 2006, at 22:36:53
In reply to Re: No cure for life » GeneralSchlong, posted by orchid on November 17, 2006, at 17:21:17
> Another way to look at things would be to simply admit that we don't know the answer, and place our bet on the fact that whatever it is that created this world, either God or some higher intelligence or whatever/whoever that is, probably knows better than we do. And they must have had a very good reason to go into this huge ordeal of creating everything. And if somemone had enough intelligence to create this and put us here, there must have been a pretty good reason for it, even if it is beyond our conceptual ability. And simply to have faith in that, and go by leading our lives the way we know best.
>
> And faith is an innate part of our lives. Every day we have some faith in something or the other. Even the simple task of planning for tomorrow, needs some faith that we will be alive tomorrow. The question therefore is whether we are placing blind faith on something, or choosing to have a faith based on some evidence and value.
>
> Agreed there is no real yes or no answer to these questions, but as a person who had been atheistic before and have now chosen to believe, I thought I might answer if it could be even of a little bit help.Thanks Orchid, it does help trust me- I really appreciate your posts. And I agree that we don't know the answer. I'm trying to push myself to believe more. Im definitely making progress though, because I went from being a total atheist to believing in some sort of higher being/God. (Im just not sure if I believe he's connected to us (humans) in any way or anything). So I guess im agnostic. Hey its a start...
Thanks again though
Posted by GeneralSchlong on November 17, 2006, at 22:42:26
In reply to Re: No cure for life, posted by Declan on November 17, 2006, at 20:24:28
> If things were permanent it would be a horror show, IMO.
> Life is sad (of course) but the temporary nature of things is some reason and encouragement to make the best of them while we can.
>
> On the subject of happiness, I wonder if you get better results with lower expectations?Oh definitely! People always complain that I have such low expectations, but I do believe its the best way to go. I think that in a lot of situations its best to expect the worst- that way it can only get better and disappointment comes less. But it's also unhealthy to think that way too much. Everything in moderation.
Posted by GeneralSchlong on November 17, 2006, at 22:47:28
In reply to Re: No cure for life » Declan, posted by Dinah on November 17, 2006, at 21:24:35
Thanks for responding... By the way, I just became a member a few days ago, but I've been reading the posts at this site for awhile. You've been a member for a long time, right? I always found your posts to be really helpful
Posted by Declan on November 18, 2006, at 2:37:58
In reply to Re: No cure for life » Declan, posted by GeneralSchlong on November 17, 2006, at 22:42:26
But it's also unhealthy to think that way too much. Everything in moderation
That's right. I may have been guilty of overdoing it from time to time myself.
Posted by muffled on November 18, 2006, at 10:16:45
In reply to Re: No cure for life » Dinah, posted by GeneralSchlong on November 17, 2006, at 22:47:28
Posted by Poet on November 18, 2006, at 11:09:30
In reply to What does schlong mean? (nm), posted by muffled on November 18, 2006, at 10:16:45
Hi Muffled,
I don't know what it means in the context of the poster's name, but in yiddish it's a euphemism for a certain male body part. It might have more than one meaning, I just know this one. My late jewish grandmother would be so proud in a perverse way.
Poet
Posted by muffled on November 18, 2006, at 12:15:26
In reply to No cure for life, posted by GeneralSchlong on November 16, 2006, at 21:50:58
I think we here to do the best we can.
But it hurts lots.
But if we can do little things to make the world a better place.
Then I guess its good we here.
Even if its just making someone smile.
I don't mean to be rude. But I a little sensitive bout some stuff, and your name bugs me, and I REALLY don't mean to offend you, but do you think you could make your name something non-penile? I'm sorry, I'm serious. I sure you just trying to be funny. But it bothers me.
Nice to meet you.
Muffled
Posted by muffled on November 18, 2006, at 12:16:50
In reply to Re: What does schlong mean?, posted by Poet on November 18, 2006, at 11:09:30
Thanks Poet. Thot so.
I posted to him. Hope I don't make him mad :-(
Take care,
Muffled
This is the end of the thread.
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