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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Happyflower on December 23, 2006, at 12:55:57
My T asks this yesterday. Why am I dumping him when it feels like he is dumping me? I just didn't know what to say. Things felt sort of weird when he said that.
I wanted so much to touch him yesterday, I even came close to puting my hand on his stomach as I was leaving. I wanted to hug him so much.
He talked to much about stuff that didn't really matter to me, I enjoy talking to him but I needed something different.I told him I got into a fight with my DH a couple of weeks ago and I threw a basket of stuff (not at him). He acted really surprised and said "happyflower!" I said I knew it was wrong but it felt so good .
I don't know we talked about a lot of stuff but nothing seemed to fit together. A lot of stuff was covered, but I feel like it was all on the surface stuff, same sh*t over and over. I just feel like he thinks I am doing well, and I am in some areas, but something is just missing in my life. I don't see him for 2 1/2 weeks and I just feel so sad. I don't know why. Maybe it has something to do with last session when he told me whenever he hears or sees a trumpet player he thinks of me. He said he didn't know why. I told him then he must think of me too much. Maybe he knows I am "on" to him, and he is pulling back. I don't know it just felt different, not bad, but something was missing yesterday. I am just confused, don't know why I am writing this.
Posted by Scentedgarden on December 23, 2006, at 20:05:37
In reply to So when are you are dumping me?, posted by Happyflower on December 23, 2006, at 12:55:57
hi happyflower...
I'm so sorry you feel confused...hope you feel better soon. I just wanted to say a big warm HI ..! to you..! merry Christmas..*
scentedgarden
Posted by Dinah on December 23, 2006, at 22:40:15
In reply to So when are you are dumping me?, posted by Happyflower on December 23, 2006, at 12:55:57
Some sessions are like that I think. Trying to connect and not quite getting there. Don't I remember that your last session was very good?
I have trouble, personally, remembering good sessions when I come off a bad one. Yet somehow I remember bad ones quite easily when things are good. :(
In what context did he ask you that?
Posted by muffled on December 24, 2006, at 10:19:04
In reply to So when are you are dumping me?, posted by Happyflower on December 23, 2006, at 12:55:57
You wrote the post cuz you were confused HF. So am I . You guys have a special relationship. But I don't reckon as it will go anywhere. It must be SO hard. Can it be that you guys can be special friends? Or does the 'other' damn crap have to come into it? Sigh. Life is so confusing :(
I am happy that you felt to share w/us babblers. Hope things can smoothen out soon somehow for you. You got alot on your plate. Hows things been panning out?
Take care,
Muffled
Posted by Happyflower on December 25, 2006, at 10:38:24
In reply to Re: So when are you are dumping me? » Happyflower, posted by Dinah on December 23, 2006, at 22:40:15
Hi Dinah,
Yes my last session before this one was very good. But this time it was not as connecting I guess.
The context where he asked the question went something like this . He says, so what is 2007 going to be like for you? I said I don't know. He said because of your DH's job situation, it leaves it unpredictible. Then we talked about my marriage issues a little again.
Then he goes, so when are you planning on dumping me. I just got kinda quiet and looked away.
Then he said well I thought this year we were going to cut down to 10 sessions over the year. I said , Ya, YOU did say that. Then he repeated what I said, (he got the point that it was what HE said, not me). He then said well you said you wanted to quit at the end of the year, remember?
He said do you want to
to see me every week or do you want to space 10 sessions out over the year. I said, well, isn't there a happy medium here? He asked what I wanted. I said I still wanted to continue with every other week for awhile. Then we went to schedule oour next appointment, and because of the holidays, I see him in 2 1/2 weeks.Why does he say I am dumping him , when I am not the one that wants to leave? I feel like he is dumping me because he is pushing me. Why do all good things end for me? It makes me so sad.
Posted by Happyflower on December 25, 2006, at 10:45:53
In reply to Re: So when are you are dumping me? » Happyflower, posted by muffled on December 24, 2006, at 10:19:04
You are right Muffy, we do have a special relationship whether or not he will admit it. I just feel like there is so much he doesn't say to me, like he is holding back his feelings about me, and when I try to tell him mine, he gets really scared or something. There is something between us, we both know it, but it is like we arent' allowed to say it out loud because of his boundries, and because I am all too familier with the boundries. Some day it will have to come to a head, because I need to say how I really feel, and I want him to listen and know, even if I know it makes him uncomfortable.
I have no problem leaving therapy with him, and the professional relationship. But I feel our relationship is more than professional, and I want to continue that part with him and allow that to evolve. But what I want and what he will be able to do or even want to do might not agree.
You are right, it is SO hard. I am just sad when I think of it. A lot of people said that when I am ready to leave therapy, it won't be so hard, well I think in my case, leaving therapy will turn ugly if our relationship doesn't continue in some form. I just don't know what to do. Thanks muff, for writing.
Posted by Happyflower on December 25, 2006, at 10:47:14
In reply to Re: So when are you are dumping me?, posted by Scentedgarden on December 23, 2006, at 20:05:37
Merry Christmas to you too! I hope Santa gave you what you wanted this year. Thanks for caring about me.
Happyflower.
This is the end of the thread.
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