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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 10, 2007, at 18:02:28
I brought it up first. the idea that I expect people to be able to read my mind and then that I get upset when they don't.
She said that she finds it very difficult when I do this too.
hmm. What, like I'm supposed to tell T everything that pops into my uncoordinated mind?
Isn't it her job to read my mind?
Good thing I don't expect babble to read my mind. Then we'd have some serious "issues"
:P
Posted by Happyflower on April 10, 2007, at 18:51:08
In reply to my T told me I was difficult, posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 10, 2007, at 18:02:28
Hey Girl!
Join the "my T says I am difficult" club. I don't mean to make light of this, but it brings up the memory when my T said something like that about me. But he used the word "challenging". But he added that he has to keep on his toes around me, I am not boring, and I am challenging him, but also improving in doing so.
One funny thing is that in the beginning of my therapy I was so sorry for calling him and bothering him. This we even when I didn't tell him I needed a call back. Well he said, well you are not as annoying as some of his clients. Now I am thinking, hmmm, that was 2 years ago, I wonder if I am one of those. Well I think I probably am, but so what.Do they deserve mega bucks for just sitting in their chair listening. HA! I say be a pain in the butt, make them work for it! It gives them a reason to come into their office each day. Make yourself memorable! :-)
You are too cute Phyto!
P.S. I have read your mind, I have special powers you know, and I think we need to talk girlie! :-) Love ya!
Posted by gazo on April 10, 2007, at 19:09:55
In reply to Re: my T told me I was difficult » PhytoEstrogen, posted by Happyflower on April 10, 2007, at 18:51:08
yeah.. i read your mind. You were thinking of sending me money.
my T didn't have to say it. i told him first. and what i didn't say i wrote down. i even used obstinate... frustrating.. and "will lead you to dismay."
Posted by sunnydays on April 10, 2007, at 19:34:36
In reply to my T told me I was difficult, posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 10, 2007, at 18:02:28
Well, I don't know if you're joking or not, but no, T's aren't supposed to read your mind. They're human - how could they do that? Any amount of training won't teach them that. They can ask questions to try to pull it out of you and make guesses based on other clients they have seen or their intuition, but they can't read minds. Even my T, who's close to perfect. :)
sunnydays
Posted by peddidle on April 10, 2007, at 20:04:00
In reply to my T told me I was difficult, posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 10, 2007, at 18:02:28
I have to agree with sunnydays. My T is amazing, but she always has to remind me that she can't read my mind. She tells me that she can tell when the "wheels are going," at which point she says "what are you thinkin'?" Usually I'll say, "I don't know." Sometimes it's because I just don't want to tell her whatever it is, but a lot of times, I really don't know what I'm thinking.
Believe me, I am in the same boat you are-- I wish my T could just read my thoughts, so that I wouldn't actually have to verbalize them.
Posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 10, 2007, at 20:38:07
In reply to Re: my T told me I was difficult » PhytoEstrogen, posted by sunnydays on April 10, 2007, at 19:34:36
A letter to my T. I'll give it to her next session
*****
I just started crying and took a swipe at my arm with the seam ripper. Thoughts and feelings
Thoughts: What did she mean when she said it was difficult when I expect her to read my mind? Does that mean that I amd difficult? Does that mean that she doesn't think I'm being honest with her? Why/Ho can I be honest with her when I'm not even honest with myself? I don't have what I need and I don't know what I need. I don't know what is motivating me or my actions right now I feel so lost. Then I feel hopeless
Feelings: Anger. but I don't know where/who to direct it at. I caused all of this. I could stop all of this and quit life, therapy, being. Why do I hang on? Disorganized upstairs. Little things bother my. Why would an ambiguougs one-liner make me sob? Make me start to cut when I have been so good for so many weeks.?
What stopped me from cutting? I know it would be so satisfying at some level. But who would I hurt? Anger & hurt go togehter. angry at husband for not rescuing me. anger at myself for expecting the impossible. why why is this so impossile. so mad i can't take care of myself. so tired of worry guilt anger
I don't want *just* attention. I don't want *just* help. I want everything, now. Why can't I stop being so demanding. I'm such a bitch. I want someone to read my mind. I want sometone to tell me it will be okay.
I'm tired of taking care of myself. what happens if I stop? my mind says "not the answer" my heart is sick. says : make them pay for what they have done to you.
what price? intact skin on my arm? my life/ part of me is always punishing myself. part of me is always punishing THEM. my work as punishmnt. failure in my life as punishmnt. cutting and OD'ing as punishment.
Why can't I just BE?. Why always in reaction to another's actions. help. I don't want to be that preson. I don't know who I am or who I want to be. Meed a lighthouse: don't know if I'm far out at sea or dangerously close to rocks.
Posted by Happyflower on April 10, 2007, at 21:27:32
In reply to Can't get it out of my head trigger, posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 10, 2007, at 20:38:07
(((((PE)))))))) I am so sorry if my post was too much, I hope I didn't trigger you into hurting yourself. I am so worried about you. When is your T appointment? Can you call her sooner? Please my friend, my buddy, I am so concerned. You seem so down, I want to help, I just don' t know what I can do. I wish I could take away all of your pain. I am so sorry. Will your husband be home soon?
Posted by sunnydays on April 10, 2007, at 21:56:11
In reply to Can't get it out of my head trigger, posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 10, 2007, at 20:38:07
Everything will be ok. Just hang on and try not to hurt yourself too bad. If you need medical attention, go to the ER, I promise they've seen everything. But if you hang on and ride it out through the worst of this pain, everything will come out ok. It might take time and hard work, but it will be ok. And your T probably just didn't word what she was trying to say well. She didn't mean you're difficult. I think it was probably just more that it's hard to read anyone's mind. Maybe trying to draw you out a little more. My T tries that sometimes, and it can hurt my feelings when I am trying but just don't know what I am thinking. But hang in there. Everything will be ok.
sunnydays
Posted by muffled on April 10, 2007, at 22:55:36
In reply to Can't get it out of my head trigger, posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 10, 2007, at 20:38:07
well I asked my T on phone one time if I was a pain in the *ss. There was silence, then, she said I was challenging....she did NOT say I WASN'T a pain in the *ss until I basically forced her to say it....
I'm not entirely sure ever DID say I was not....
But she hangs in there for me.
Go figger?
I think your mebbe bumping on the rocks some. Think thats the way it is, but then the wind comes up, and you can sail free eventually....
Not to say you won't hit more rocks, but as you become a better sailor, hopefully you miss more of the rocks and crash into them less.
Its sorta odd how your T would say that anyways, youseem to be able to figger lots of stuff, and talk well, so I not so sure what she's getting at?
Proly all a natural part of the process....
Sucks.
Have you figgered if there's parts of you at all??? It sure can explain a WHOLE lot if you do have them.
Allasudden things are way better. If there's parts, in my experience anyhow, they REALLY like to be acknowledged, insteada ignored and buried.
But mebbe you got no parts.
But for me, the confusion I had and still have at times was cuz of them.
Take care.
Posted by gazo on April 10, 2007, at 23:20:13
In reply to Can't get it out of my head trigger, posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 10, 2007, at 20:38:07
OMG PE... i am so sorry for joking around. You seemed light hearted.. i am so sorry.
(((PE)))
i feel pain for your pain.
i **know** what it is to hurt yourself. it's not a good place.
please talk to her about this. please call her. please be safe.
Posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 11, 2007, at 7:43:36
In reply to Re: Can't get it out of my head trigger, posted by gazo on April 10, 2007, at 23:20:13
Sorry guys,
I'm all over the place right now. The original post was kind of in jest. but then it started eating at me.Don't worry I did no serious harm. nothing worse than the scratches I have from my cat deciding to use my arm as launching pad for vertical endeavors.
I'm not upset at anybody. nobody said the wrong thing. Not me, not my T, not nice babblers.
oh crap my cat is trying to jump to the highest shelf in the house. why so ambitious? there's nothing up there but dust anyways. I guess it's for the view.
Posted by karen_kay on April 11, 2007, at 15:25:51
In reply to my T told me I was difficult, posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 10, 2007, at 18:02:28
funny, i always expect the same thing...with the mind reading.
and of course, it would be hard, since i have no clue what's going on in my own head..
i feel for you,
i think i love you.....prince told me that once, so i'll tell it to you
kk
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