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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by slugdoo on July 22, 2007, at 14:44:57
I just got back from shoping and working out and I am soooo mad! I am really mad, really really pissed at my parents.
I frickin had potential growing up and it was wasted and I made choices that I know would have been different if I came from a loving home.
They took it away from me, and now I am trying to regain it back. But it is much harder now. Did I say I was mad? I am so pissed!
I tried growing up thinking all that bad stuff didn't happen to me. I am not damaged goods, I am a good person is what I would tell myself growing up and I am not going to let this sh*t win. But my brother was a different story, he didn't have that inner voice, he believes he is bad. I think that strong innervoice kept me alive and keep me from suffering as much with the mental stuff.
But the thing is, it DID effect me in a lot of cases as much as I would like to think it didn't . But now looking back on my life and the choices I made and were forced to make, yeah, it messed me up . Maybe not as bad as my brother though. BUt I have to admit it DID effect me damn it! I hate it!I wished I believed in Karma because then my mom would feel what I have felt from her. My T would say something like , well she is paying for her actions because she doesn't have me in her life and her grandkids. That made me feel good at the time. BUt you know what? That might be true if she was a normal person. She HAD me and look what she did with me. I doubt she really is suffering of not having me in her life. She didn't want me when she had me. So now she is walking around Florida like a queen and I am have to "pay" for her mistakes. Not fair. It sucks. I am so f*cking mad right now!
I am trying to make up for my lost childhood of opertunities and I am having trouble because the past IS bleeding into my present and it hurts so bad that I can't just pretend it didnt' happen. I just want to be who I have the potential to be, why does it have to be so hard? Some people are so very luckey not to have to overcome this "handicap" .
I am so mad at my parents! They never loved me or wanted me! I was nothing to them. How can that not effect who I am today? It just pisses me off that I have to deal with this, financially, emotionally, and physically. It just sucks, it really does.Thanks for listening if you got this far. I just need to get the badness out of myself.
Sometimes I wonder if I truely was a bad child for this to have happened to me. I know intellectially I wasn't bad, but I was treated like I was really bad. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......
Posted by muffled on July 22, 2007, at 15:42:02
In reply to I am so mad! rant and maybe trigger***************, posted by slugdoo on July 22, 2007, at 14:44:57
Naw, you weren't bad SD.
Just life.
Messed up "parents".
I personally don't know, but I don't think my parents were too bad so fars I know....
and guess what....
I STILL the ultimate f*ck up.
I WASTED SO MUCH potential.
My life is quite wasted.
I could have done SO much.
IF ONLY
IF ONLY
IF ONLY
So many of us say this...
I just gonna try and do the best I can in future.
Thanks for reminding me of this SD.
Ya, your "parents" were messed up sh*t heads that never should have had a kid. There's plenty of them out there unfortunately....sigh.
I'm sorry you got caught :-( w/bad ones.
But I KNOW you will deal with this and rise above. Its just the way you are.
I have HUGE amount of faith in you SD.
Take care,
M
Posted by slugdoo on July 23, 2007, at 16:35:42
In reply to Re: I am so mad! rant and maybe trigger***************, posted by muffled on July 22, 2007, at 15:42:02
Thanks Muffy for reading all my "trigger " stuff. I think I am going to print off your message and keep it with me. I need something to hold, and now I have your words or encouragement and faith in me. It meant a lot to me.
Posted by muffled on July 24, 2007, at 22:53:36
In reply to Re: I am so mad! rant and maybe trigger*************** » muffled, posted by slugdoo on July 23, 2007, at 16:35:42
she picks them up and holds them!
Great gravy!
And the slime don't stick to her?
S'up with that?
LOL.
Take care,
Muffled
This is the end of the thread.
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