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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by sunnydays on August 20, 2007, at 21:44:02
I've been crying on and off all night and thought about calling the on call at my school (I didn't because I don't know what qualifies as an emergency and I didn't want to bother them). I'm not in any danger at all, just terribly sad and alone-feeling. I left a message for my T and I was hoping he would get it tonight, but I guess he won't. And I emailed him, and he should get that tomorrow.
We talked more about my mom. It was so hard. And then he had to change my appointment to a different day at the end of the session because he's going to the doctor and they're going to sedate him. So they can put a camera down his throat. And it's because he has stomachaches a lot. Of course he didn't realize it, but that has freaked me out completely that something serious will be wrong. I'm hoping it's just acid reflux or something.
And I figured out that a lot of my sadness is just wanting. Not wanting anything in particular, just a huge huge want. And my T said that it makes sense to him that I would just want. And that it's big. But I got really sad at one point, little girl-ish, and he was trying to keep me adult and he said, "Let's not go down that road," because I get terribly upset if I am feeling like the little girl. And now I feel like I'm not supposed to be sad.
And I'm just so sad.
sunnydays
Posted by muffled on August 20, 2007, at 21:59:24
In reply to difficult session, posted by sunnydays on August 20, 2007, at 21:44:02
Posted by DAisym on August 21, 2007, at 1:04:42
In reply to difficult session, posted by sunnydays on August 20, 2007, at 21:44:02
>>>>But I got really sad at one point, little girl-ish, and he was trying to keep me adult and he said, "Let's not go down that road," because I get terribly upset if I am feeling like the little girl. And now I feel like I'm not supposed to be sad.
<<<<<I think we had similiar sessions. :( I feel like I'm not supposed to be sad either but this is how I feel. Is it because the younger part holds all the sadness and worry from times past? Or does she want comfort and acknowledgement?
This is very hard work. I know your therapist will help you through it. Try not to worry about him, I'm sure he'll be fine.
And you can be as sad as you need to be. It really is OK.
Posted by JoniS on August 21, 2007, at 8:37:59
In reply to difficult session, posted by sunnydays on August 20, 2007, at 21:44:02
Sunnydays,
I am so sorry you're having such a difficult time. Therapy is such hard work. It's good that your T said that it makes sense to him that you would "just want" He's validating you and your feelings, so try to hear that.[He didn't say that you're not supposed to be sad] I don't really get why he said "Lets not go down that road..." but since I wasn't there I wont second guess him.
The best cure for me when I feel that sad is a distraction - either work or a book or a movie, I just sometimes force myself to do something and not stay idle. (I'm not saying you are idle, I imagine you have a busy life with studies, etc)
You have a lot of pressure on you with all the demands, so give yourself credit for all the hard work you're doing.Sometimes I call my T and he always makes himself available. That helps if I can allow myself to trust that is OK to call.
I hope you have better days. Wish I could lift you up!
Take care.
Posted by Dinah on August 21, 2007, at 12:25:56
In reply to difficult session, posted by sunnydays on August 20, 2007, at 21:44:02
That's a lot of things in one session. Rescheduling, health worries, mom discussions. I think it's natural to feel sad. And I'm sure he didn't mean that it wasn't ok for you to feel sad. He hasn't demonstrated that at all.
Posted by sunnydays on August 21, 2007, at 15:52:02
In reply to difficult session, posted by sunnydays on August 20, 2007, at 21:44:02
Well, a follow-up. Thank you everyone for your replies. I'm doing some better today (not crying). My T called me back this morning even though I said if he didn't get the message until today that he didn't need to bother calling me. It was good to hear his voice. He apologized for not getting back to me last night, which I was ok with because I didn't think he would get it since I called at 8:30pm. But he said sometimes he loses track of how long it's been since he last checked his messages. And he said it's never that he doesn't want to call me back (I had said he didn't have to call me back if he couldn't or didn't want to).
It was a very short conversation since I didn't really know what to say and wasn't in quite that state anymore. But it was nice to know that he really is there for me. And he answered my email too, and that was nice.
sunnydays
Posted by muffled on August 21, 2007, at 19:52:09
In reply to Re: difficult session, posted by sunnydays on August 21, 2007, at 15:52:02
SD, glad you feeling a little better, and glad you recognized that too. So mebbe you can remind yourself that those bad feelings DO in fact ease up some...
I am so glad you have such a wonderful T.
Manoman, he sounds great!
Anyhow, I hope all continues to go well.
Take care,
M
This is the end of the thread.
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