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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 26, 2007, at 16:24:59
yeah, so I've missed 4 sessions because T is gone.
finding it increasingly harder to maintain my center. Feel like things are getting disorganized and spinning.
Losing my sense of who I am and where I'm headed. It was tenuous to start with before he left. Now it's crumbling.
Student? Doctor? Barista? Author? Lunatic? Fashion disaster? Acne Sufferer? Knitter?
boo
-Ll
Posted by RealMe on August 26, 2007, at 18:55:30
In reply to Another one of those 'therapist out of town posts', posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 26, 2007, at 16:24:59
Yes it is difficult to deal with a therapist being gone when you have just started. Is your therapist going to be gone a lot? Or does he not say? Mine sort of says, but I am often hit with something one week before except for I know about the Jewish holidays when he will be gone. He also travels a lot for his programs. The last time he was going to be gone for a Friday, he said we could still meet as his flight was latter in the day. It is very disrupting to have a therapist gone no matter how long you have seen them, I think. But in the beginning, it is especially difficult. Sorry.
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 26, 2007, at 19:06:56
In reply to Re: Another one of those 'therapist out of town posts' » LlurpsieNoodle, posted by RealMe on August 26, 2007, at 18:55:30
Well, he did give me 3 weeks notice, so that was very professional, and reminded me at all my sessions. Told me who would be covering for him, etc. Asked me if I was comfortable talking to pdoc in a crisis (um. no!) and then told me that if I had an emergency he'd try to return my call on his cell phone.
He's a good T, but you're right, it's disruptive, especially at the beginning.
-Ll
Posted by muffled on August 26, 2007, at 22:21:08
In reply to Another one of those 'therapist out of town posts', posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 26, 2007, at 16:24:59
When is your T back LL?
Hopefully soon.
You've already done much better than last time.
Too bad T's are human and have lives....oughtta be a law or somethin....
anyhow,
take care,
sendin ya good vibes...
Muffled
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 27, 2007, at 7:25:47
In reply to Re: Another one of those 'therapist out of town posts' » LlurpsieNoodle, posted by muffled on August 26, 2007, at 22:21:08
I have a session on Wednesday. I'm kind of dreading it. maybe I should quit this psychotherapy thing. I had a freaky dream about my T this am. (shudder).
I think I AM doing a lot better than last time, but it still hurts.
-Ll
Posted by RealMe on August 27, 2007, at 8:25:00
In reply to Re: Another one of those 'therapist out of town po » muffled, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 27, 2007, at 7:25:47
Your post -- this is precisely why in my opinion you should not quit therapy. Instead, you should talk about your dream with him.
RealMe
(OzLand)
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 27, 2007, at 9:06:07
In reply to Re: Another one of those 'therapist out of town po » LlurpsieNoodle, posted by RealMe on August 27, 2007, at 8:25:00
Hi RealMe,
I am DEFINITEly not ready to talk about a dream with my T. It wasn't anything particularly spectacular. If anything it reflected a greater trust in him on my part.I can't even talk about it in an online support forum. I haven't talked about much at all in the way of "trust" other than it's hard for me and then a big review of why it's hard for me and a nice long dissociation episode. barf.
I have a really hard time talking about the T-me relationship. My former T, who I had a deep trusting relationship acknowledged as much. Interestingly, about 3 mos into therapy I had this dream that she was embracing me through a silk/satin sheet, after a traumatic episode in which she was there as my advocate. I had the courage to tell her, but then when she brought it up again I would shy away from it. At termination she said that she knew how hard it was to talk about this kind of relationship face to face with someone, and said that it was something I could work on with my next T.
First comes feeling safe
Then comes trust in baby steps via sharing difficult stuff and seeing how he reacts
Then comes the work of reprocessing the old ick
All interspersed with the struggles of day-to-day living. I've got a few of those right now, in the form of existential angst....hmmm... Thanks for your support. You're a gem. Sorry that I'm not ready to support folks like you. I shy away from triggers right now in self-protection. Hope you understand. Your past is not your fault, ergo the fact that your past triggers me is NOT YOUR FAULT. just so we have that clear...
take care RealMe :)
-Ll
-Ll
Posted by RealMe on August 27, 2007, at 21:43:37
In reply to not ready to talk about a dream » RealMe, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 27, 2007, at 9:06:07
It is okay to shy away from talking about the dream. It is okay too to shy away from stuff that triggers you. I guess my point is/was really that it sure does not sound like time to be quitting therapy???
After you posted that you had a dream about your therapist, I had a dream last night about my therapist previous to who I have now. I was in a hospital somewhere--not familiar--and I saw my old therapist as he came walking into a room I was in. I was trying to catch his eye, and I finally did and said a big hi with a smile on my face. He just looked at me and then looked down and sat down and started writing like in a chart. That's it. Anyone want a crack at it. I have no idea what it means except that it likely has to do with my current therapist and not my previous one. Rejection?? IDK.
Take care Ll
RealMe
(Oz)
Posted by JoniS on August 28, 2007, at 8:09:41
In reply to Re: not ready to talk about a dream » LlurpsieNoodle, posted by RealMe on August 27, 2007, at 21:43:37
Here's my "crack at it"
My uneducated guess is fear of rejection. I wonder if you are still working out understanding why, dealing with, accepting, believing the explanation - all related to how the previous T treated you on that last day (not the final appointment) I really think that session caused such scars that it will take some work to heal. Even though you are doing everything possible to heal, and you had that great final goodbye session, still the pain is in there and the good session didn't immediately take that away.Dont know if that makes sense, but that is just my 2 cents
Joni
Posted by JoniS on August 28, 2007, at 8:19:15
In reply to Re: not ready to talk about a dream, posted by JoniS on August 28, 2007, at 8:09:41
RealMe
I'm sorry, I've been afraid I would do this (must be a self-prophisying act) I got your recent events and HFs mixed up. I realized I was mixed up right after I confirmed my post. I can be a total dufus sometimes, but I promise I'm not careless or flip about people's story.
Sorry
Joni
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on August 28, 2007, at 9:30:04
In reply to Another one of those 'therapist out of town posts', posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 26, 2007, at 16:24:59
Hey!
Have you thought about developing and maintaining a network of real people (ie ones you don't pay on an hourly basis) to support you instead of a T? Like your husband perhaps? Or perhaps not 'instead of' but 'in compliment to'. So they are there in times of need, like when your T goes out of town...well, thats what I'd do anyway. My bf has nursed me through many a traumatic episode, for instance.
Kind regards
Meri
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 28, 2007, at 15:13:10
In reply to Sorry RealMe, I goofed, posted by JoniS on August 28, 2007, at 8:19:15
Haha Joni,
and the funniest thing of all is that your "goof" is on my thread. I was reading it and thought... hmm, the last session with my formerT (back in June) was very nice. I even got a hug, and we are on good terms...And then I thought... hmm, maybe she's thinking of happyflower?
don't worry about it- I do this all the time!
I think people live in Switzerland when they actually live in Swaziland, etc...
-Ll
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 28, 2007, at 15:23:34
In reply to Re: Another one of those 'therapist out of town po, posted by Meri-Tuuli on August 28, 2007, at 9:30:04
Social support is good, very good. I am working on building up a group of people. I went to 3 parties this weekend. Met a handful of lovely people that I could actually be friends with (and a group of people to play beer pong with... groan)
I even have offer from 2 women to spend some time at their place when h goes out of town for work.
h can help. Actually our relationship is bouncing back nicely from being kind of tense at the start of the summer. Stress is down and affection is up. He can be very supportive and nurturing, but part of my issue is that I don't want to ask for help. I *expect* it, sometimes, and that's unreasonable. Other times I just want to tough it out on my own.
This most recent absence of T was marked by some interesting changes in my life... stressful in their own right. I decided not to make a big deal about my therapist being out of town, just in case it would start a "I don't know why you care so much about T" argument with h. Maybe at some level he feels that our marriage is being intruded upon by this stranger who practices a craft that is much despised by h.
ever since I started the zoloft (AND 2x weekly regular sessions about 3.5 weeks ago) h has remarked how much more even-tempered I am, and how much happier it makes him to have such a good marriage after carrying the burden of depressed Noodle for SO long.
you got some good ideas...
-Ll
p.s. I don't pay my T- someone else does :)
Posted by RealMe on August 28, 2007, at 20:30:16
In reply to Sorry RealMe, I goofed, posted by JoniS on August 28, 2007, at 8:19:15
I have to laugh because I think about my dream, you are absolutely right. I told my therapist the dream, and he wondered if it had anything to do with my boss and what was happeing at that job. I said no I didn't think it reminded me of him or anyone there. After some time on it, I said I think it supposed to be you. And we talked some about my fears that he will do what my previous therapist did with telling me I should go find another therapist, and then after ECT getting angry with me almost becuase I wasn't grateful for losing my memory, most of which is coming back. So, guess what; I think you were right!
RealMe
(Oz)
This is the end of the thread.
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