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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on August 29, 2007, at 21:08:11
I mostly talked about my old T and our relationship and what I think went wrong. I told him EVERYTHING , from the mutual attraction to his flirting to his sexual comments, to how I came to not trust him as a therpist and how because of the loose boundries, I couldn't work with him any longer.
It a little frusterating that he is keeping his comments reserved because of his professional realationship he has with my old T. He tells me he is doing this, I not sure if I understand exactly why he can't tell me all that he thinks about it. He did say I made the right decision, but T's are human too, and he didn't support what my T did, but that was all he wanted to say about it. He even told me how he got attracted to a client once, so he understood how that feels. We talked about countertransference too.
He believes that this experience will make me a better T, that all clouds have a silver lining and he thinks I have learned a lot from this.
Well I said I wasn't ready to learn this much yet, I was only an undergrad, couldn't I learn something not so personal and tragic. LOL
So I talked about how I cut back my sessions in school, and he thought that was a good idea, because we are going to be going through some tramatic work. And he wants to start next session with my past and do EMDR.
He said tradional desensization you start from the mild tramatic stuff to the worse, but with EMDR you do it *ss backwards compaired to that, you start with the juggler vein. Yikes! But I believe I will be okay with him.
I have no T next week due to the holiday and he already had 3 on his waiting list, so I am going with the next Monday. I made sure to schedule for the entire month.
Some great things happened for me tonight. I got to play in the philharmonic for the first time since being in it for over a year! Plus I am in the Jazz Ensemble too, plus the brass choir, and group guitar lessons. Geeze, it seems like I am more of a music major. LOL But I am soo happy.
Posted by RealMe on August 29, 2007, at 21:16:19
In reply to Therapy went fine, posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on August 29, 2007, at 21:08:11
My therapist never said anything negative about my previous therapist either. He just let me know he did not agree with him re number of times per week for therapy or what would help me the most--he says therapy; my previous therapist said ECT. Just things like that, but I know he thinks my previous therapist had no business trying to work with me around csa issues. I was just "vomiting" everything up with no intervention and got more and more depressed. So, my T now understands my hesitancy and yet gently reminds and encourages me re this. I think I know where to go now within my heart and gut and not so much in my head.
So, no I doubt I would bad mouth another therapist or say anyhing that might be construed as negative to a patient even if I was thinking it. It's a bit unethical. Now if I heard that someone's previous therapist had done some unethical things, then I would look into it for sure. I might not say anything to my patient, but you can be sure I would not let it go either.
RealMe
(OzLand)
Posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on August 30, 2007, at 4:23:06
In reply to Re: Therapy went fine » Happyflower 1 :-), posted by RealMe on August 29, 2007, at 21:16:19
Thanks RealMe,
I guess I kinda get it but it would feel great if he said more, to validate what I think, but I guess he knows about it and that is what is important.
There are different levels of this, and he knows clients where it went too far, he did say something that my experience was a lot different than that. So maybe he agrees that he did get out of hand, but he didn't go way over the line, but it did impair his effectiveness as a T. I am glad I got out when I did because it could have gone much further if I was less resistant to it. But who knows, maybe my old T would have snapped out of it.
As much as the attention felt good, I didn't want him to say what he did, because that made him a creep to me and how could I really adore a creep? I did say I believe it isn't something he was used to dealing with because it made him so uncomfortable at times. But who knows? Thanks RealMe for your support on this.
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 30, 2007, at 7:29:16
In reply to Re: Therapy went fine » RealMe, posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on August 30, 2007, at 4:23:06
Good for you and the music making. Music is very good for maintaining quality of life and happyflower mood.
I have thought for a while that your T was crossing some boundaries. I wasn't sure how much of it was transferance, or you transferring your romantic ideas and ideals onto this man you see every week. I think in hindsight the "special bond" you felt with your T was definitely hindering your therapeutic work, and that his professional responsibility to you was compromised
Also, you wanted to see your former T for the EMDR work, but you didn't get a whole lot of that done, and it sounds from your recent babble posts (well, the ones I have read) that there's a lot more trauma to unearth and process. I'm glad you're taking this step.
You're right-- clouds DO have silver linings :)
-Ll
Posted by Dinah on August 30, 2007, at 7:36:26
In reply to Therapy went fine, posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on August 29, 2007, at 21:08:11
Posted by JoniS on August 30, 2007, at 8:05:23
In reply to Therapy went fine, posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on August 29, 2007, at 21:08:11
HF,
Glad therapy went well. Sounds like your new T has some maturity, professionalism and good boundary-keeping. I'm so glad you found him, and so quickly when you needed him.
It's wonderful about your music. I bet it's very theraputic getting to enjoy playing.
Good for you!
Joni
Posted by muffled on August 30, 2007, at 8:54:05
In reply to Therapy went fine, posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on August 29, 2007, at 21:08:11
Glad things are looking up for you.
Glad your newT is keeping things cool.
Good for you.
Guess it coulda gone real wrong.
But it didn't.
Maybe oldT WAS kinda trying to drive you away.
Not easy being a T I reckon.
Take good care,
You doing great things,
M
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