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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Poet on October 13, 2007, at 12:22:56
Tapping really helps, my T is onto something with this technique. She told me where to tap and I was able to tell her where it happened (she knows what happened) and what my fantasy is of what I would do to him as payback. Which is evil, but it made my inner 10-year-old smile.
She said that by letting some of my anger out I was empowering myself, taking the power he had over me away from him. I have to try not to be angry at myself as I was the victim. That is hard as my brain tells me that had I done something way back then I wouldn't be as messed up as I am now. I need to tap around that issue.
She said that when I run into my brother I should tap on my wrist and in my head say "I am calm, I am relaxed." Hope it works then again I hope I never see him again, but fat chance of that.
Poet
Poet
Posted by ClearSkies on October 13, 2007, at 12:26:10
In reply to Let a Little Bit Out- CSA Trigger, posted by Poet on October 13, 2007, at 12:22:56
I've done some tapping for anxiety and it helps - I think it's almost a diversion, but it sure does last long if that's all it is. Amazing stuff.
Good for you for letting this tool help you get some of the anger out!CS
Posted by Dory on October 13, 2007, at 12:55:29
In reply to Let a Little Bit Out- CSA Trigger, posted by Poet on October 13, 2007, at 12:22:56
(((((Poet)))))
i am so happy that you made a step forward. It's so hard.
can you explain the tapping thing? i don't understand.
Posted by Poet on October 13, 2007, at 17:11:27
In reply to Re: Let a Little Bit Out- CSA Trigger » Poet, posted by ClearSkies on October 13, 2007, at 12:26:10
Hi ClearSkies,
It is amazing stuff, at least for me. Anything to help me envision some bad stuff without getting upset is amazing in itself.
I'm glad it worked for your anxiety.
Poet
Posted by Poet on October 13, 2007, at 17:20:47
In reply to Re: Let a Little Bit Out- CSA Trigger » Poet, posted by Dory on October 13, 2007, at 12:55:29
Hi Dory,
Tapping is tapping lightly on various energy points on the face and body: above the eyebrow, collarbone, top of head while saying things like "even though I have anxiety over (whatever the issue is) I choose to have confidence in myself.
Here's a link to a site on tapping:
http://www.emofree.com/Articles/top-10-tapping-tips.htm
I hope tapping keeps working for me as I still have so much more to release.
Poet
Posted by Daisym on October 13, 2007, at 21:52:07
In reply to Re: Let a Little Bit Out- CSA Trigger » Dory, posted by Poet on October 13, 2007, at 17:20:47
Poet,
Good for you for telling some. And letting the anger out, imagining that "pay back" is really good for your 10-year-old. There is a huge difference between letting the fantasy play out and actually doing something hurtful. I think you are making huge progress.
Tapping works for my son too. He has been doing it for years, along with breathing techniques.
I bet your therapist is really proud of you.
Posted by happyflower on October 14, 2007, at 5:26:11
In reply to Re: Let a Little Bit Out- CSA Trigger » Dory, posted by Poet on October 13, 2007, at 17:20:47
Hi Poet,
Thanks for the link, I find it really interesting stuff. I guess it is a lot like the accupuncture, that you tap into the energy sites. I know how well accupuncture works for me for a lot of areas mental and physical.
It kind reminds me of the EMDR relaxation that i am doing with my T to help with my stage fright. But here we are using bi-lateral brain stimulation while thinking of relaxing imagery.
But what is kinda has me thinking of both of these is that accupuncture used both (sides ying and yang) like bi-lateral brain stimulation. Seems like they could possibley be connected. hmmmm.
When I do my bi-lateral stimulation, I cross my arms in front of my chest and tap alternately on each shoulder. I could also tap each knee instead. This is easier to do in public than the eye movements.
But using EMDR for relaxation is the only reason to do it to one's self. Not for actual trauma work. Good job on your work Poet! ;-) It is nice to hear how you are doing.(((Poet))))
Posted by Poet on October 14, 2007, at 12:22:10
In reply to Re: Let a Little Bit Out- CSA Trigger » Poet, posted by Daisym on October 13, 2007, at 21:52:07
Hi Daisy,
I think my therapist is proud of me, when I told her my inner 10-year-old was smiling, she said she could tell. I think adult me was smiling.
I agree that fantasy pay back is good for my inner 10-year-old, she needs a safe (still hate that darn word) way to let go of some of the anger and hurt.
It's good to hear that tapping works for your son, too.
Poet
Posted by Poet on October 14, 2007, at 12:28:50
In reply to Re: Let a Little Bit Out- » Poet, posted by happyflower on October 14, 2007, at 5:26:11
Hi Happyflower,
It is interesting how tapping on or maybe it's into the energy sites on your body does help release emotions. Tapping through trauma is far easier for me than talking through it. Of course, there are still things I won't say, but my T has read them and maybe one of these times I'll let her say it and see if I freak out or can tap through it. That'll take some time, though.
Poet
Posted by RealMe on October 14, 2007, at 15:22:03
In reply to Re: Let a Little Bit Out- » happyflower, posted by Poet on October 14, 2007, at 12:28:50
My therapist sometimes alludes to things I have written, and then I can decide if I can talk about it. I ususally do but not until we only have 15 minutes left, and once with around five minutes to go I said, "Isn't the time up yet." So he laughed, and I laughed too. He is right; I am so damn transparent.
I didn't used to be that way years ago. Read my Menninger quarterly notes from T, and as much as he tried, I refused to get into the abuse stuff. Sorry old T; I miss you a lot; wish you had not died, and I could tell you I am finally doing it.
RealMe
Posted by Poet on October 14, 2007, at 18:17:43
In reply to Re: Let a Little Bit Out- » Poet, posted by RealMe on October 14, 2007, at 15:22:03
Hi RealMe,
I'm transparent, too. My T knows I'll wait until the end of the session when we don't have time left so I can run out the door. She'll start with it the next session, though I'm sure it frustrates her, but then again letting any hard stuff out is good even if its five minutes as we run.
I'm sorry your old T is no longer with us, and I hope you keep giving out that little bit at a time. I hope I can keep doing it, too.
Poet
Posted by RealMe on October 14, 2007, at 20:55:52
In reply to Re: Let a Little Bit Out- » RealMe, posted by Poet on October 14, 2007, at 18:17:43
My T has never done that, started the next session where we left off. He leaves it to me to start things, and sometimes I get into stuff right away and sometimes not until the end of the session. He thinks that for now it is good that I am starting to feel comfortable with him and not so angry. He knows, though, that I will be angry again, and that helps that he has not left me thinking I can never be angry like my T right before him, the one I got rid of. Sometimes what was urgent on my mind on Friday is no longer so urgent. I know that he thinks we need to explore more my work as he thinks I am having residual effects from the persons I see. All of them are either violent physically or sexually, or if they are females, they have a most horrible history of abuse, neglect, and you name it.
Last week when I said my past seemed so far away and as if it was a movie I was watching (my way of not feeling), he made a comment about how I had such a horrible life growing up, and I made a face and said it wasn't that bad. He rolled his eyes as it is true, things were pretty bad from day one or actually before I was born. He also wants me to think of some good things in my life. Most of the good times, though, I was playing by myself. So how good was that??? I have to think harder.
RealMe
Posted by Poet on October 16, 2007, at 9:07:08
In reply to Re: Let a Little Bit Out- » Poet, posted by RealMe on October 14, 2007, at 20:55:52
Hi RealMe,
I told my T my childhood wasn't that bad, and she answered "since when?" her version of your T's eyeroll.
We talk about work alot in therapy and some of our client's are sex offenders, it's hard not to separate adult me from the kid me who is angry. I can understand if you are effected by the people you see at work. And I can see how hard it would be to work through that in therapy.
Poet
Posted by RealMe on October 21, 2007, at 1:52:49
In reply to Re: Let a Little Bit Out- » RealMe, posted by Poet on October 16, 2007, at 9:07:08
Poet
I have not felt that dealing with the sex offenders has affected me that much. My T thinks I might have some delayed effect from dealing with them, but honestly I have more trouble with murder cases and cases where the person almost murdered the victim. I think that my living in fear for my life for several years and almost being killed on more than one occasion has me more likely to feel traumatized by persons who murder or almost murder family members. I don't know if that makes sense, but it is just more of a life and death issue. Maybe I say this because I have not allowed myself to feel much about the sexual abuse, only the physical abuse thus far and the mental abuse. These are bad enough, but mayhbe somewhere in the recesses of my mind I figure I can get through these with less pain. Hah! Not so far.
RealMe
Posted by Poet on October 24, 2007, at 8:49:52
In reply to Re: Let a Little Bit Out- » Poet, posted by RealMe on October 21, 2007, at 1:52:49
Hi RealMe,
I've just recently allowed myself to feel anything about CSA. Knowing someone is a sex offender doesn't get to me, knowing what they did, especially if it was making a child their victim is starting to really get to me.
I can handle life and death issues much better. Probably because I am not afraid of death, and even though I try to deny CSA has affected me, I guess I am still afraid of it.
Poet
Posted by RealMe on October 28, 2007, at 20:36:46
In reply to Re: Let a Little Bit Out- » RealMe, posted by Poet on October 24, 2007, at 8:49:52
As I get more in touch with my feelings from when I was abused, not only are some of the sex offenders getting to me, so too are some of the female victims who have been arrested for such things as drugs. I am feeling their pain way more than I want to, and the offenders, some of them are really getting to me especially if they deny when everything points to their guilt. So far this is not interfering with my capacity to do an objective evaluation. I am aware of my feelings so that I don't interject them into my reports.
RealMe
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