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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by B2chica on August 27, 2008, at 12:47:04
so i had another flashback and i finally see T this thursday but that will be just over two weeks since seen her last.
i had it and didn't really understand it (though i had an idea of what it was regarding)
i figured it was related to csa but just didn't know what or how. so i kept thinking of it and thinking of it and left it in my brain and tried to explore it on my own and more and more pieces came together...but now i'm wondering, did i remember those pieces or did i make them up to complete a story just to complete it? to make the picture make sense?anyone have any advice of how to test if its a real memory or a made up one?
the picture and stuff around it i KNOW is real, but the further out i get the less confident i feel...
Posted by Phillipa on August 27, 2008, at 13:11:02
In reply to so i had this memory....*Trigger*, posted by B2chica on August 27, 2008, at 12:47:04
It wasn't a dream right? I guess you and your T will have to explore it and see if it's accurate. Love Phillipa
Posted by muffled on August 27, 2008, at 13:33:14
In reply to so i had this memory....*Trigger*, posted by B2chica on August 27, 2008, at 12:47:04
> the picture and stuff around it i KNOW is real, but the further out i get the less confident i feel...
*I dunno how to tell if it 'real'.
I only got 1 pic, and I tried to figger it sames you. But I never did know if I extrapolate or make up stuff, or add stuff from who knows where, or whether other parts were 'embellishing' etc etc.So I accept only original material.
Memory is very tricky. Most memories are mixed up for anybody.
Mebbe not think bout it. Just let it be. If there something to know, then it will be known, you not gotta 'work' at it. Just accept that what you feel inside is real, details not matter.
That be my opinion.
Take care,
M
Posted by B2chica on August 27, 2008, at 13:53:14
In reply to Re: so i had this memory....*Trigger*, posted by muffled on August 27, 2008, at 13:33:14
ya see that's it, i've had so much happen that it could be i'm putting what happened someother time onto this memory and making two memories out of one,
or i'm like you said 'embellishing' it, because stuff like that has happened to me before.... i just dont know.
i just know thinking about it makes me so uneasy.
and i can't get a clear picture of anything else other than that one picture.it's really close up and fuzzy and not obscene but it makes me think immediately of something that happened so i know it's related to something that did...i just don't clearly know what.
and THAT is what's bothering me.
that i don't know. that i only half know.thnx
Posted by muffled on August 27, 2008, at 14:08:32
In reply to Re: so i had this memory....*Trigger*, posted by B2chica on August 27, 2008, at 13:53:14
Mixing memories is common. Even mixing good and bad ones up.
I got stuff what makes me uneasy.
I wait.
I try to listen to inside ones.
Sigh.
I am better accepting that I likely will have no answers. Not concrete ones.
Most people don't have a clear memory of being a kid.
So I not so strange.
I just wait.
If there is something to come, it will come when ready.
I have protection for a reason and thats OK.
When they feel its safe, mebbe more stuff, mebbe not.
Either way s'ok.
I got new T, she very experienced and she good. She smart! LOL. She go SLOW, thats best.
Hope you wee one is doing OK and of course you too.
Best wishes.
M
Posted by B2chica on August 27, 2008, at 14:32:04
In reply to Re: so i had this memory....*Trigger*, posted by muffled on August 27, 2008, at 14:08:32
thanks muffly, we're doin alright.
i could be better mom if depression ever go away.
but i'm workin on it.stupid meds @#(*$&#*
thanks for askin.
later.
Posted by lemonaide on August 27, 2008, at 16:35:34
In reply to so i had this memory....*Trigger*, posted by B2chica on August 27, 2008, at 12:47:04
I think it doesn't matter if it was real or not, it is how you feel about it that counts. I think if it wasn't significant to something, you wouldn't keep thinking about it. Good luck in your session tomorrow. ((((B2))))
Posted by rskontos on August 27, 2008, at 17:27:35
In reply to Re: so i had this memory....*Trigger*, posted by lemonaide on August 27, 2008, at 16:35:34
I have my own sense of flashbacks. I have had so many, I flooded myself. (my thanks to Daisym for this term) and I had to reel myself back in. I couldn't take my flashbacks. I could not make sense of them and to be quite frank I was scared sh*tless of what they meant. Mine too were around abuse and csa. Now they are slowly coming back. I still can't make sense of them but....
Here is my take on this. I have memories that I found out were false. My sister, the one I had been estranged from for so long, set me straight on those memories. See my mind makeup better memories and my brain repressed and hid the bad ones. My sister clued me into the true memories and all their ugliness. Now that she did I still haven't gotten all of them back because i have tried to keep them blocked. I finally opened my mind again.
I don't think flashbacks are made up. That is my take. When you dissociate your brain hides the reality from you. The flashbacks bring it back. But I do think that the perspective you are viewing it is a snapshot in time at the time you were developmental and emotional. So it might be hard to understand because you did not understand it intectually maybe due to age or just because maybe at the time you did not have all the information. And I think the brain stores images in its banks like photos. And maybe when the flashbacks come back you don't get all of them.
That maybe at first you get a little at a time before the whole picture will get clear. And then again maybe some of the data is damaged. Because maybe like memories in general are not always accurate due to incompleteness. I don't know I am not making sense maybe. I have more research to do on this subject.
Just my take. I don't know if the flashbacks at first come back in their entirety. I have though has some pretty fluid ones, just like a movie running. But they were scary and I worked to get out of it.
Anyway, I do think in some ways you need to discuss it B2c but do it when you are ready. Don't flood yourself like i did.
rsk
Posted by B2chica on August 28, 2008, at 7:49:17
In reply to Re: so i had this memory....*Trigger*B2C, posted by rskontos on August 27, 2008, at 17:27:35
thanks all SOOO much for your support and understanding. i sometimes forget how important this site is to me. how important all you are to me.
thank you.
b2c.
Posted by susan47 on August 28, 2008, at 11:51:31
In reply to Re: so i had this memory....*Trigger*B2C, posted by B2chica on August 28, 2008, at 7:49:17
What blows my mind is that all of it was done "in love". I think I told myself when I was a small child, that if this is what parental love is, I want no part of it.
And now I am a parent. Lovely. May I not be doing the psychological harm that was done to me.
Amen.
Posted by B2chica on August 28, 2008, at 12:16:22
In reply to Re: so i had this memory....*Trigger*B2C » B2chica, posted by susan47 on August 28, 2008, at 11:51:31
i agree. NO ONE needs that kind of love. to H@ll with them. my abuser wasn't even out of love, i think he was a sociopath or something where he didn't even see me as a person, but more as a thing for his use. with no feelings, no thoughts, no emotions.
it's surprising we are all as loving and caring as we are...i think there's a psych paper in that.
Posted by susan47 on August 28, 2008, at 15:34:54
In reply to Re: so i had this memory....*Trigger*B2C » susan47, posted by B2chica on August 28, 2008, at 12:16:22
This is the end of the thread.
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