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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on February 19, 2009, at 11:55:27
In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm going to cancel Monday's session. It's Lundi Gras and parking is bound to be awful where he is. He reluctantly suggested that he could see me late in the afternoon at his other office, but that will likely be a traffic problem too.
I guess it's possible that I'm purely in rational mood right now, but that's not so terribly bad.
Posted by LadyBug on February 19, 2009, at 12:02:45
In reply to My therapist is gone this week and I'm fine, posted by Dinah on February 19, 2009, at 11:55:27
It's good when we feel we are ok when out T is out of the office and we can't go in. Somehow it's nice to know where they are so we can picture that in our mind as they are away.
For me I never wanted to give up a time when I could see me T no matter what I had to do to get there. It's crazy. Looking back, I wish I had more control over the attachment I felt for her. It did get much better over the years. Ok, this is getting off your subject so I'll stop here. I'm sure you'll make the best choice.
LadyBug
Posted by SLS on February 19, 2009, at 12:43:57
In reply to My therapist is gone this week and I'm fine, posted by Dinah on February 19, 2009, at 11:55:27
> I guess it's possible that I'm purely in rational mood right now, but that's not so terribly bad.
You speak as if it would be preferable for you to be in some mood other than a rational one. I don't understand.
How's your speaking voice these days?
:-)
- Scott
Posted by backseatdriver on February 19, 2009, at 13:13:28
In reply to My therapist is gone this week and I'm fine, posted by Dinah on February 19, 2009, at 11:55:27
That is awesome progress, Dinah. I would go to Lundi Gras just to celebrate it. You have my total admiration!
Yours,
BSD
Posted by Phillipa on February 19, 2009, at 13:18:26
In reply to Re: My therapist is gone this week and I'm fine, posted by backseatdriver on February 19, 2009, at 13:13:28
Dinah I feel it's great you feel good about the situation btw what is Lindi gras? like Mardi Gra . Sure my spelling of both is wrong. Phillipa
Posted by Dinah on February 19, 2009, at 13:29:47
In reply to Re: My therapist is gone this week and I'm fine » Dinah, posted by SLS on February 19, 2009, at 12:43:57
Rational mode is fine. I get a lot of work done. But it's a bit.... limited.
When I started therapy I was in rational mode. My therapist would have me fill in emotion diaries, and all my entries were either "ok" or "upset". He was pulling his hair out trying to convince me those weren't what he was looking for. :)
Posted by Dinah on February 19, 2009, at 13:33:36
In reply to Re: My therapist is gone this week and I'm fine » Dinah, posted by LadyBug on February 19, 2009, at 12:02:45
I asked my therapist once where he'd be going (a seminar, not a vacation), and he accused me of trying to make small talk. I explained to him exactly that. That it was easier for me if I could imagine where he'd be, instead of feeling like he'd just gone "away". He did understand, and now he paints a bit of a word picture for me.
But I haven't been thinking of him all that much. I told my husband last night that I thought I'd been doing fine this week. He got the funniest look on his face, so full of doubt. Then I realized that he'd been listening to me talk about stuff that I'd normally talk to my therapist about. I laughed that he was looking forward to my therapist's return more than I was this time. He didn't disagree. :)
Posted by Dinah on February 19, 2009, at 13:35:14
In reply to Re: My therapist is gone this week and I'm fine, posted by backseatdriver on February 19, 2009, at 13:13:28
I know! I'm pretty impressed with myself!
We're really busy at work right now with some training. I don't like the new program, and I'm staying indignant enough about that that it might be protecting me a bit. Irritation can be sort of organizing.
Posted by Dinah on February 19, 2009, at 13:36:55
In reply to Re: My therapist is gone this week and I'm fine, posted by Phillipa on February 19, 2009, at 13:18:26
Lundi Gras is Fat Monday, the day before Mardi Gras, Fat Tuesday. I don't remember it being a big deal when I was little. A day off school maybe, since lots of people go away for the long weekend. But they've filled it up with activities now, and my husband says one of them isn't very far from my therapist's office.
Posted by jane d on February 19, 2009, at 18:12:23
In reply to Re: My therapist is gone this week and I'm fine » SLS, posted by Dinah on February 19, 2009, at 13:29:47
> When I started therapy I was in rational mode. My therapist would have me fill in emotion diaries, and all my entries were either "ok" or "upset". He was pulling his hair out trying to convince me those weren't what he was looking for. :)
You mean there's something more than those two? Oh! Maybe that's why my therapist sounds a little stressed at times. :)
Posted by Dinah on February 19, 2009, at 20:25:04
In reply to Re: My therapist is gone this week and I'm fine » Dinah, posted by jane d on February 19, 2009, at 18:12:23
:)
I still think those are perfectly good emotions. :)
But if pressed, I can be a bit more specific now.
Posted by Phillipa on February 19, 2009, at 20:44:01
In reply to Re: My therapist is gone this week and I'm fine » Phillipa, posted by Dinah on February 19, 2009, at 13:36:55
Dinah thanks never heard of it. Love Phillipa
Posted by seldomseen on February 20, 2009, at 6:43:24
In reply to My therapist is gone this week and I'm fine, posted by Dinah on February 19, 2009, at 11:55:27
Distractions during separations are nice, but I also think that the rather solid relationship you have with your T is certainly contributing.
When my T is gone, I still miss him, but not with the acute experience of loss that I used to feel.
I think once they form a permanence in our brains, then their temporary absence is less disruptive.
I hope you continue to feel well and rational (no, that's not a bad thing) and try to take some time to enjoy Mardi Gras. Even if that enjoyment is just complaining about it :).
Posted by Dinah on February 20, 2009, at 7:36:39
In reply to Re: My therapist is gone this week and I'm fine » Dinah, posted by seldomseen on February 20, 2009, at 6:43:24
> I hope you continue to feel well and rational (no, that's not a bad thing) and try to take some time to enjoy Mardi Gras. Even if that enjoyment is just complaining about it :).
I see you understand me. :)
You know, we do have a very solid relationship now, and no doubt that is helping. My therapist even offered to schedule a phone session during his absence and said of course I could call him. Even so, I'm a bit worried about canceling. I was so upset when he first mentioned being gone, and at the time he was planning to extend his absence through Mardi Gras, that I think I influenced his decision about whether it was a good idea to be gone so long. He moved the second part of his trip to March. I'm afraid he'll be angry with me if I now say I don't need to see him till Friday. :(
Although he is fully booked Monday till early afternoon, so obviously it wasn't just me who couldn't imagine going two weeks without seeing him.
Posted by cmac13 on February 24, 2009, at 6:30:29
In reply to Re: My therapist is gone this week and I'm fine » seldomseen, posted by Dinah on February 20, 2009, at 7:36:39
I sometimes have difficulty when my therapist is out of town and we miss a session. She is compassionate and has given me the option to telephone her office confidential voice mail to tell her what is going on and if I ask she will call me back if she can. She has also written me letters to hold onto that I can read reassuring her return. I have been with this therapist for a long time and she has helped me a great deal and continues to do so - many abandonment issues to work out.
Posted by Dinah on February 24, 2009, at 9:52:27
In reply to Re: My therapist is gone this week and I'm fine, posted by cmac13 on February 24, 2009, at 6:30:29
She sounds like a very sensitive and caring therapist. Mine is as well. He had offered to schedule a phone session, since I'd been pretty upset a week or two before he left.
And he always tells me that I can call his cell phone, even when he's gone on vacation. Granted, I never do. But I'm sure if I did, he would call me if he could.
I'm glad you have a therapist like that to help you work through abandonment issues.
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