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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by MysticKangaroo on January 21, 2010, at 6:37:43
Feeling a bit fragile. I have been working with this T for the last 4 months. (Previous T for 10 years. He died.) I trust her and I think it is going well. Trouble is she takes half of December and all of January off. I have been doing ok. I can email her whenever I like. She will reply late Jan. So so far no replies. I am feeling a bit disconnected. I have been thinking that I have been very brave and got out and mixed and mingled. I have not let depression or anxiety define too many days.
If I am doing such a good job why do I want to cry? I have to fight myself to stay out of bed. I am getting worried because I have had the last 6 weeks off work and I go back next week. PPl ask me if I want to come back, am I ready to come back. I want to cry and say no I hate work. (If only the mortgage could be paid with tears I'd be rich)
I am supposed to care but I am in it for the money.
This is too hard to do on my own. I know the timing is not my T's fault but hey 4 months in is a bit too soon. If I can manage all this why do I need therapy in the first place?? Cos we both know that managaging is about all I am doing. I want her back now! I am lost, scared and hurting. I know she will come back but I am scared she won't.
Posted by Dinah on January 21, 2010, at 12:09:28
In reply to I miss my T, posted by MysticKangaroo on January 21, 2010, at 6:37:43
I can only imagine how painful it is to lose a therapist of ten years. Grieving a death of someone so important, but that the world does not see as a member of your family.
Does she go away for this long every year?
I hate my job too, and only do it because I have to. I think it helps me sometimes to see it as a choice, even though it doesn't feel like one. Is there anything at all that you enjoy about your work? For example, I don't mind the actual work at all. It's the people I don't want to face. Is there any way to put the most positive spin on this to yourself? I know... It sounds silly, and I hate doing it. But sometimes it does help me.
Posted by MysticKangaroo on January 21, 2010, at 16:40:15
In reply to Re: I miss my T, posted by Dinah on January 21, 2010, at 12:09:28
Thanks for the reply Dinah
Yes she does go away this long every year.
I can see that I am worried that I have a job where I am supposed to care for people. trouble is I don't feel the same way I used to. I want to make sure I am cared for before I go near anybody else.
T will come back. I will have a safe place again. I will care again. I will keep reminding me of this even though I don't feel it right now.
Posted by TherapyGirl on January 22, 2010, at 18:30:48
In reply to Re: I miss my T, posted by MysticKangaroo on January 21, 2010, at 16:40:15
T will come back, Mystic, so try to hang in there. I know for me, especially with long absences, the last couple of weeks was always the hardest. It's like I would hold it together as long as I could and then start relaxing the hold because I knew she was coming back soon.
I hope you're okay. I've been thinking about you.
Posted by rnny on January 23, 2010, at 0:29:17
In reply to I miss my T, posted by MysticKangaroo on January 21, 2010, at 6:37:43
That is quite alot of time off on your T's part and I know for me, that wouldn't work. So I can't blame you for being upset. You need her services and you aren't getting them. You haven't been with her that long and already this trumatic loss, her being away.
Posted by emmanuel98 on January 23, 2010, at 1:03:10
In reply to I miss my T, posted by MysticKangaroo on January 21, 2010, at 6:37:43
Lord, six weeks away is such a long time. Especially with someone you're just starting to bond with. My T never went away for longer than two weeks in the five years we were together. I would here of T's taking four or five week vacations and feel so grateful that my T didn't do that. Wish you the best. Hang on in.
Posted by MysticKangaroo on January 23, 2010, at 6:54:01
In reply to Re: I miss my T, posted by emmanuel98 on January 23, 2010, at 1:03:10
Thanks everybody for the empathy.
Still hanging in there.
This is the end of the thread.
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