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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rjlockhart37 on August 5, 2013, at 23:27:47
its late at night, i can think better....but i've started to learn that i've cut off people i knew in the past, both if they did bad things, or didnt like me.....i just cut them off like i don't know them, but ... thats also how it is currently, i am in relationship but anytime that there is pain that emerged from it, i cut it off....like i never had it at all.....and really thats making me wonder if i can even connect good with people, usally when someone breaks up with a person...it hurts, but in this case, i've played along with stuff....but truely not connecting at all, mainly its protecting from pain, and another its discarding bad memories, quick.
the people i am close to......if something bad happens the feeling in the relationship is terminated, disguarding it quick. But that sounds like someone who is fake, i do this to reduce the pain of rejection, its already been done many times....
does anyone know what a true, good relationship is? ..i just totally ... cut it off, knife and a wire.....snipp having a relationship can be like work, good work, but me...sometimes i don't want to do work, and leave it and forget it....thats a vary good metahpore, but its not productive, and wasting good relationships that could happen.....
i really need to work on relationships...but i've gotta learn who i am inside....
right now people that i know view me as not being prodective, no job, but i am ging back to school...but i kinda get the idea....so people who hate me, just say thank you vary much, have wonderful day and bye....
but really whats ... your opinion of a relationship?
Posted by SLS on August 6, 2013, at 6:58:12
> its late at night, i can think better....but i've started to learn that i've cut off people i knew in the past, both if they did bad things, or didnt like me.....i just cut them off like i don't know them, but ... thats also how it is currently, i am in relationship but anytime that there is pain that emerged from it, i cut it off....like i never had it at all.....and really thats making me wonder if i can even connect good with people, usally when someone breaks up with a person...it hurts, but in this case, i've played along with stuff....but truely not connecting at all, mainly its protecting from pain, and another its discarding bad memories, quick.
>
> the people i am close to......if something bad happens the feeling in the relationship is terminated, disguarding it quick. But that sounds like someone who is fake, i do this to reduce the pain of rejection, its already been done many times....
>
> does anyone know what a true, good relationship is? ..i just totally ... cut it off, knife and a wire.....snipp having a relationship can be like work, good work, but me...sometimes i don't want to do work, and leave it and forget it....thats a vary good metahpore, but its not productive, and wasting good relationships that could happen.....
>
> i really need to work on relationships...but i've gotta learn who i am inside....
>
> right now people that i know view me as not being prodective, no job, but i am ging back to school...but i kinda get the idea....so people who hate me, just say thank you vary much, have wonderful day and bye....
>
> but really whats ... your opinion of a relationship?Fake relationships?
I don't have any immediate answers for you. However, I like the way you approach things. You often do a good job of coming up with your own answers.
What or who are you using as a resource to help guide you? You are obviously willing and able to improve yourself. You are willing to work. This is a good thing.
- Scott
Posted by SLS on August 6, 2013, at 6:59:58
In reply to fake relationships, posted by SLS on August 6, 2013, at 6:58:12
> > its late at night, i can think better....but i've started to learn that i've cut off people i knew in the past, both if they did bad things, or didnt like me.....i just cut them off like i don't know them, but ... thats also how it is currently, i am in relationship but anytime that there is pain that emerged from it, i cut it off....like i never had it at all.....and really thats making me wonder if i can even connect good with people, usally when someone breaks up with a person...it hurts, but in this case, i've played along with stuff....but truely not connecting at all, mainly its protecting from pain, and another its discarding bad memories, quick.
> >
> > the people i am close to......if something bad happens the feeling in the relationship is terminated, disguarding it quick. But that sounds like someone who is fake, i do this to reduce the pain of rejection, its already been done many times....
> >
> > does anyone know what a true, good relationship is? ..i just totally ... cut it off, knife and a wire.....snipp having a relationship can be like work, good work, but me...sometimes i don't want to do work, and leave it and forget it....thats a vary good metahpore, but its not productive, and wasting good relationships that could happen.....
> >
> > i really need to work on relationships...but i've gotta learn who i am inside....
> >
> > right now people that i know view me as not being prodective, no job, but i am ging back to school...but i kinda get the idea....so people who hate me, just say thank you vary much, have wonderful day and bye....
> >
> > but really whats ... your opinion of a relationship?
>
> Fake relationships?
>
> I don't have any immediate answers for you. However, I like the way you approach things. You often do a good job of coming up with your own answers.
>
> What or who are you using as a resource to help guide you? You are obviously willing and able to improve yourself. You are willing to work. This is a good thing.
>
>
> - Scott.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 6, 2013, at 9:50:56
In reply to fake relationships, posted by rjlockhart37 on August 5, 2013, at 23:27:47
Personally, i dont worry about it much anymore. I deleted alot of people on facebook... Well i think i can tell you that Psychologists can find something wrong with ANY realtionship.
Dont let it bother you too much. You dont want to become isolated.
The only thing i do, if i know a person has "bad" people as facebook friends, i tell them that i dont use facebook that much and that i want to stay in touch via mobile or email.
That way i can hang out with the particular friend but i dont have the social plague of "low lifes" looking at delicate personal information.Thats the only thing i do. I dont know anyone who has bad enough habits or friends that i wouldnt like to stay in touch.
Dont trash your relationships because your Priest, aaeh Psychologist tells you so. I can only say i wouldnt. I dont care.
I have bad habits, you have bad habits. Everyone has bad habits as far as im concerned. No single perfect person in the world.
Bothering too much with what a healthy relationship is can isolate you big time. And this "rather no relationships at all than "unhealthy" ones" sheesh.. its not for me.
Dont overthink it. Live your life and learn.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 6, 2013, at 9:52:24
In reply to Re: fake relationships, posted by Lamdage22 on August 6, 2013, at 9:50:56
I remember mine saying "thats not what we call love".
The funny thing is that Psychologists usually dont consider themselves judgmental..Believe what you want.. i think they are jut as judgmental if not more than church people.
I let the Psychologist help me, but not take over my life.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 6, 2013, at 9:57:50
In reply to Re: fake relationships, posted by Lamdage22 on August 6, 2013, at 9:52:24
If you wanna worry all your life just what that healthy relationship is your psychologist is talking about..
Why dont you just have some and see for yourself?
You can work on boundaries with "unhealthy" people. OF COURSE, thats not judgmental right? Lol. Take a critical look at the mindset of your mental health professionals.
Seriously. I write this because i think this information will do more good than harm, not because i think it will help everyone in every situation. I think it is needed for someone to says this.
Posted by SLS on August 6, 2013, at 18:35:15
In reply to Re: fake relationships, posted by Lamdage22 on August 6, 2013, at 9:50:56
> Personally, i dont worry about it much anymore. I deleted alot of people on facebook... Well i think i can tell you that Psychologists can find something wrong with ANY realtionship.
>
> Dont let it bother you too much. You dont want to become isolated.
>
> The only thing i do, if i know a person has "bad" people as facebook friends, i tell them that i dont use facebook that much and that i want to stay in touch via mobile or email.
> That way i can hang out with the particular friend but i dont have the social plague of "low lifes" looking at delicate personal information.
>
> Thats the only thing i do. I dont know anyone who has bad enough habits or friends that i wouldnt like to stay in touch.
>
> Dont trash your relationships because your Priest, aaeh Psychologist tells you so. I can only say i wouldnt. I dont care.
>
> I have bad habits, you have bad habits. Everyone has bad habits as far as im concerned. No single perfect person in the world.
>
> Bothering too much with what a healthy relationship is can isolate you big time. And this "rather no relationships at all than "unhealthy" ones" sheesh.. its not for me.
>
> Dont overthink it. Live your life and learn.
Great advice.:-)
I think I'll take it for myself.
Thanks.
- Scott
Posted by rjlockhart37 on August 6, 2013, at 18:50:20
In reply to fake relationships, posted by SLS on August 6, 2013, at 6:58:12
yes....my own awnsers to my questions i ask things babble i eventually figure out myself, but the thing is i don't apply it, meaning in terms...i say it, come up with a awnser but don't really act on it....
but the resouces that i have....my pdco is one of them but its not going to someone and working with it....its more talk therapy....last night i went to sleep...and had wierd dreams, woke up and tried to go back sleep....but after a time, i started to saying God, repeadly, Jesus Christ, [that's only in biblical terms for God, no other souces] and even today....i try to look to higher power....but really it can be like talking to something, that goes into the wind....i've seen over couple times supernatural things, the only time had that experiece is at a bible rivival, this guy was talking about profacy, this lady started laughing, not at him, but it was like Joy....and then it spread across the room....in a world view, it looked like a bunch of drunks that where so drunk they where laughing and rolling on the floor...but it wasnt that.....
some guidance is from both leaning from the past, and mainly a higher power....but i don't want to say im a guru, or something who has special intellect....no im still at home....still slowly taking steps....
yea thats all, thanks scott...
r
Posted by rjlockhart37 on August 6, 2013, at 19:08:01
In reply to Re: fake relationships, posted by Lamdage22 on August 6, 2013, at 9:50:56
you said something about don't let a priest, or a mental health professional control your life....that is a good.....all these NA Alcoholics Anaymous programs, and some of the programs where they use "us" and "we" its annoying....relates it to the the people in the room, not really individuels, its a system program...but still people in NA get to know eachother and tell their stories, its just...not for me, im not trying to imply that any where above that....
some of the relationships i avoided is when sensed a dislike, that could turn into rejection, no matter what conversation works.....here on babble im a bit differnt than i am in real life....i never talk like this, in real life, this is only on babble, so ... i have to avoid relationships that look like they could fail...failing means they would not work out, they would critize me, or become judgemental and start to not call, do the silent treatment all that stuff....so thats why canceling those out before happen is my case....
This is the end of the thread.
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