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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Colleen D. on March 22, 2005, at 20:16:46
I nearly went into full-blown panic again tonight when I realized that my husband, who had a few drinks before he came home, put our 1.5 yo daughter in the van and took off with her to drink some more. By the time he got home, he was staggering and then asleep 30 minutes later. I am so sick of dealing with this since our 1st child was born in 1999. We've discussed the problem many many times but he continues to "sneak off" with a child in the vehicle for a booze cruise. Has anyone had to deal with this problem and what can I do to make sure it doesn't happen anymore??? I believe he is bipolar but has never been diagnosed as such.
Colleen
Posted by Dinah on March 22, 2005, at 20:32:28
In reply to How can I keep my children safe?, posted by Colleen D. on March 22, 2005, at 20:16:46
Well, I'd call 9-1-1 and ask them to pick him up. Give them the license plate, tell them where he's likely to be going, and tell them there's a child in the car.
But that's me...
Posted by sunny10 on March 23, 2005, at 8:30:37
In reply to Re: How can I keep my children safe? » Colleen D., posted by Dinah on March 22, 2005, at 20:32:28
absolutely, so would I.
Children need to be protected. If your husband won't let you protect them, the police can; he can in no way prevent them from helping your kids...
And he'd probably wind up in rehab, non-voluntarily, which is where he should be...
Posted by pinkeye on March 23, 2005, at 12:53:17
In reply to How can I keep my children safe?, posted by Colleen D. on March 22, 2005, at 20:16:46
I agree - drunk driving is absolutely not to be tolerated - with a kid in the car. Call 911 for help the next time this happens. You don't want to jeopardize your kids safety.
Posted by Colleen D. on March 23, 2005, at 16:16:58
In reply to Re: How can I keep my children safe? » Colleen D., posted by pinkeye on March 23, 2005, at 12:53:17
to hear. I just haven't had the guts to do it yet. I keep thinking about the chain of events that will follow and wondering how the heck I can manage with only a part-time job and 3 young children. I also keep wondering how I ended up here.
Colleen
Posted by Dinah on March 23, 2005, at 17:31:16
In reply to Thanks; you all said what I wanted..., posted by Colleen D. on March 23, 2005, at 16:16:58
I really do understand. I don't know how I'd make it as a single mom. I need my husband so much.
But it might help to visualize other scenarios as well as the one you fear. If you live in a community property state, for example, and he hurts someone else's kids while driving drunk you could lose everything. And if he hurts your own kids you have lost everything.
But I do empathize with being afraid to be on your own with three young kids. Can you use any leverage to get him into counseling?
Posted by Colleen D. on March 24, 2005, at 6:28:48
In reply to Re: Thanks; you all said what I wanted... » Colleen D., posted by Dinah on March 23, 2005, at 17:31:16
Thanks so much, Dinah. You made me look at my situation from another angle. He has refused counseling so I think I have to make the decision to take the next step and call the police the next time it happens. I know I could pay our mortgage but would have trouble with other expenses after that. Our home is our most valuable asset and I don't want us to lose that. Anyway, I am still thinking about what you said about the possibility of his injuring others too and I can't let this continue.
Colleen
> I really do understand. I don't know how I'd make it as a single mom. I need my husband so much.
>
> But it might help to visualize other scenarios as well as the one you fear. If you live in a community property state, for example, and he hurts someone else's kids while driving drunk you could lose everything. And if he hurts your own kids you have lost everything.
>
> But I do empathize with being afraid to be on your own with three young kids. Can you use any leverage to get him into counseling?
Posted by mair on March 29, 2005, at 21:12:11
In reply to Re: Thanks; you all said what I wanted... » Dinah, posted by Colleen D. on March 24, 2005, at 6:28:48
Colleen - a few years ago one of the secretarys in my office had a fiance who drank too much and wasn't always good about not driving. This woman also had a 10 year old child living with them and she told her daughter to never get in the car with this guy if he had been drinking. He left one day to drive over to pick up our secretary and tried to get the kid to come with him. She refused and was able to stand her ground. He was in an accident on his way over and was killed.
When I told my kids this story, they were so impressed that this young girl had been able to say no to an adult. The woman I know felt guilty because she felt that maybe if she hadn't put so much pressure on him, he might not have been as much of a drinker (she booted him out for awhile). I thought she should feel damn fortunate that she still had a healthy child and should consider the guilt she'd feel if her kid had been in the car.
Taking a more affirmative step will definitely keep your kids safer particularly since they aren't old enough to choose not to be with him. And who knows, maybe it will help him see that he needs to sober up.
Good luck
Mair
This is the end of the thread.
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