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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dubya on May 4, 2001, at 0:33:38
I am quite sure now that I have some sort of mental disorder. I cannot complete any single task since I was a little kid. Not only that, procrastination is extreme with me at times. I am easily distracted. I have only been diagnosed w/anxiety disorder, OCD symptoms and dysthymia (depression). I am 20yrs old, I have problems completing tasks eventhough everybody considers me intelligent. Because of that, I get 60% or so in my classes or whatever if I am not motivated by the instructor. I am often hyperactive at 8am (without coffee or chocolate) for someone who sleeps less than 8hrs. Caffeine seems to calm me down and it also helps me to sleep.
Could I have an undiagnosed disorder such as ADHD?
Posted by mila on May 7, 2001, at 21:52:41
In reply to plz help me out. problem completing tasks procra, posted by Dubya on May 4, 2001, at 0:33:38
I do not know about a disorder, but procrastination is not a disorder, it is rather a clever tactic to get what you want or to avoid getting what you deserve. It is a rather simple behavioral strategy commonly associated with so called fear of success or arrogance.
If you think having your marks in the 60% range is unpleasant, try 100% for one term. Then, you'll know what the word 'hell' means. High IQ demands huge responsibility, relentless sef-imposed discipline, and knowing exactly what YOU want. I understand all too well your desire to avoid knowing what interests you and live your life up to your potential. It is so rare, they burn them on stakes, crucify, and pester them, only to glorify them after their death.
to crawl or to fly is your choice, not theirs. them will only be glad if you join them in their sad slow march.
best,
(or do you REALLY, HONESTLY want it for yourself)mila
Posted by mikes on May 7, 2001, at 22:20:19
In reply to Re: procrastinating Hero, posted by mila on May 7, 2001, at 21:52:41
That's odd, I have a "high IQ" and all I ever wanted was to be stupid and chronically euphoric.
> If you think having your marks in the 60% range is unpleasant, try 100% for one term. Then, you'll know what the word 'hell' means. High IQ demands huge responsibility, relentless sef-imposed discipline, and knowing exactly what YOU want.
Posted by mila on May 7, 2001, at 22:41:31
In reply to Re: procrastinating Hero, posted by mikes on May 7, 2001, at 22:20:19
=== all I ever wanted was to be stupid and chronically euphoric.
1) why? what looks so attractive to you in stupidity ? in chronic euphoria? (*shudder*)
2) have you achieved your goal? if not, why? if yes, what's next on the list?
Posted by mikes on May 9, 2001, at 22:14:43
In reply to Re: mikes, posted by mila on May 7, 2001, at 22:41:31
When I was doing some heavy ev. psych. thinking a couple years ago, I eventually came to connclusion that the only thing I should try to do in life is have fun, thus the chronic euphoria. I'm not getting into the exact reasoning. I didn't want to be stupid necessarily; it was more that I didn't care whether or not I was smart or stupid. I decided that I had done all the thinking I ever wanted to do; any more "smart" thinking just got repetitive and annoying.
No, if I had achieved it, I wouldn't be on this forum. Psychiatric medicine is too primitive to help me reach my goals. My brain chemistry prevents me from reaching them by illegal means. I guess I have become stupid. Actually, I know I have, at least somewhat. I was much smarter when I was depressed. I haven't been as depressed for about a year now. Plus I have used quite a few drugs; the licit ones really do seem to be the intelligence-killers (st. john's, 5-htp, zoloft). What is next? Trying to get undepressed.
> === all I ever wanted was to be stupid and chronically euphoric.
> 1) why? what looks so attractive to you in stupidity ? in chronic euphoria? (*shudder*)
> 2) have you achieved your goal? if not, why? if yes, what's next on the list?
Posted by mila on May 9, 2001, at 23:22:35
In reply to Re: mikes, posted by mikes on May 9, 2001, at 22:14:43
Hi, mikes,i understand you very well, every word rings so true.
when i saw a doc for depression, she said, 'there is little we can do', when i saw a psychiatric nurse for an interview, she said, 'help is almost unavailable', when i saw a psychiatrist, she said, 'psychopharmacology is art, not science'. get out of here!, i thought...This was probably the most depressing part of my depressive illness.
i stayed on SSRI's for several months mostly because i believed they were helping, me, although you would never guessed it if you saw me on them. The side effects were bad, and they definitely brought my IQ somewhere way below the average; horrendously slowed down mental processing and recall. This made my university studies next to impossible. I was dropping courses like an autumn apple tree drops its apples.
I was lucky to discover in the end that the meds were working silently on the background and i am feeling very well now. never tried drugs, mostly because I am scared shitless after witnessing my father's early demise from alcoholism.
SJW I tried, but it was no good for depression ( I gave it a 3 months try), although nice for anxiety.
Now I am feeling great. Healthy. 'Undepressed' as you say. I wonder whether it is a full cure, or remission, but then does it really matter? what matters is that NOW i feel great, and my intellect is back along with nice emotional functioning. I just finished my school year at university with 96% average, and cannot tell you how happy I am, given my life-long hatred of learning, and aversion to memorization and discipline, it is something to celebrate :) now, because I have dropped so many courses during first term because of SSRIs, I hae to go to summer university, to make up for what I need as prerequisites for next year. It will be very tough, especially given the fact that all the courses to take are simply HIDEOUS. I keep my fingers crossed and i hope i will make it.
good luck on your quest, mikes. depression is the nastiest disease of all I ever had. so deceitful, so hard to get it by the throat, and when you did, to squeeze the last breath out of it. Persevere.
love
mila
Posted by mikes on May 10, 2001, at 11:36:50
In reply to lost and found (mikes), posted by mila on May 9, 2001, at 23:22:35
Thank you. I hope you have a full remission.
I thought I was just having a bad reaction to the ssri's, since i had been on them for 4 weeks, and was still having really bad side effects and bad (much worse than normal) days. Maybe I should have stuck with it for longer. I couldn't stand the feelings I got on them though. How long did it take for the side effects to go away? By emotional functioning do you mean that your emotions are not flattened?
So I stopped, and now I'm trying GHB for depression. So far I'm having good results. I would prefer a more serotonergic antidepressant effect though. I may try the SSRIs at some point in the future to try to get that effect, but not right now. I have other problems with the SSRIs. The highs I get from marijuana and other drugs are severely diminished or non existant on SSRIs (SJW and 5-HTP as well). I would hope that I wouldn't feel the need to use drugs if my depression were cured, but I don't have the will to try to get to that point right now. GHB does however seem to work pretty well even when I'm on SSRIs. So I think my plan is to use GHB for now. If it doesn't work out, which I'm guessing it won't totally, I'll start an SSRI while using GHB. Then I will taper off the GHB, or combine it with the SSRI if it seems to be helping.
>
> Hi, mikes,
>
> i understand you very well, every word rings so true.
>
> when i saw a doc for depression, she said, 'there is little we can do', when i saw a psychiatric nurse for an interview, she said, 'help is almost unavailable', when i saw a psychiatrist, she said, 'psychopharmacology is art, not science'. get out of here!, i thought...This was probably the most depressing part of my depressive illness.
>
> i stayed on SSRI's for several months mostly because i believed they were helping, me, although you would never guessed it if you saw me on them. The side effects were bad, and they definitely brought my IQ somewhere way below the average; horrendously slowed down mental processing and recall. This made my university studies next to impossible. I was dropping courses like an autumn apple tree drops its apples.
>
> I was lucky to discover in the end that the meds were working silently on the background and i am feeling very well now. never tried drugs, mostly because I am scared shitless after witnessing my father's early demise from alcoholism.
>
> SJW I tried, but it was no good for depression ( I gave it a 3 months try), although nice for anxiety.
>
> Now I am feeling great. Healthy. 'Undepressed' as you say. I wonder whether it is a full cure, or remission, but then does it really matter? what matters is that NOW i feel great, and my intellect is back along with nice emotional functioning. I just finished my school year at university with 96% average, and cannot tell you how happy I am, given my life-long hatred of learning, and aversion to memorization and discipline, it is something to celebrate :) now, because I have dropped so many courses during first term because of SSRIs, I hae to go to summer university, to make up for what I need as prerequisites for next year. It will be very tough, especially given the fact that all the courses to take are simply HIDEOUS. I keep my fingers crossed and i hope i will make it.
>
> good luck on your quest, mikes. depression is the nastiest disease of all I ever had. so deceitful, so hard to get it by the throat, and when you did, to squeeze the last breath out of it. Persevere.
>
> love
> mila
Posted by mila on May 10, 2001, at 12:28:51
In reply to Re: lost and found (mikes), posted by mikes on May 10, 2001, at 11:36:50
Hi mikes,
=== How long did it take for the side effects to go away?
they never did. When i say side effects i do not only mean unbearably bad ones each pill generously lavished me with, some were unbearably good ones:) too much for me or for dear ones to handle.
paxil made me so horny, I forgot about other parts of my body and mind:)
prozac made me so productive, I forgot all about pleasures of sleeping, dreaming, and art.
effexor made me so healthy, I forgot about the bonding value of illness. It made me into some kind of perpetuum mobile. the world was not ready to be revolutionazed though:))) look around you every one complains. you meet a healthy person and you shy away from then, what , they are an alien?
celexa made me so bold, i kicked every sorry ass on my way. Felt liberated, but then needed to build a new circle of friends. My husband and son, shed their sorry masks, and stood up, had to deal with that too :)
SJW made me so not anxious, i stopped caring about difficulties, and achieved too much too soon. It's like swallowing a huge exotic meal. Diarrhea comes attached to that gastronomic feat, you know:)))=== By emotional functioning do you mean that your emotions are not flattened?
first, full range of emotions is there. second, all of them are crisp and unequivocal in their meaning. They strongly guide me in my actions and thought instead of interfering with thought or behavior, they enrich and enhance them. third, they are fluid, they do not become a mood, or god forbid, temperament (being perpetually melancholic, timid, or cheery) or disorder (depression, unremitting anxiety).===Maybe I should have stuck with it for longer.
maybe you should. I gave myself a year and was done in 7 months. my termination was a bit forceful one. The last pill I was on was Paxil, but it was end of the school year, exam period, and I paxil makes me sleep a lot and affect my memory and intellectual interests. So, when I run out of pills, I rushed to the hospital and asked for some Prozac, which works wonders for me intellectually, although destroys my body (lack of sleep, and rest generally). my doc refused to switch depressants that lightly. I got angry, and walked out. Never felt depressed or anxious since.mikes, I am with you on your path to the full cure. you are a good person. hurrah!
best
mila
Posted by robinibor on May 13, 2001, at 7:48:04
In reply to plz help me out. problem completing tasks procra, posted by Dubya on May 4, 2001, at 0:33:38
Thought you might be interested in this bit about Procrastination from the Undoing Depression website at http://www.undoingdepression.com
Most depressed people are great procrastinators. Procrastination means putting off for a later time what "should" be done now. The "should" may come from outside, as with the teenager who dawdles over homework, or from within, as with me getting around to mowing the lawn. When it comes from without, it's easy to see the rebelliousness that procrastination expresses. When it comes from within, it's hard to see immediately what purpose procrastination serves, but it may serve many.
Most procrastinators don't really know how work works. They assume that all really productive people are always in a positive, energetic frame of mind that lets them jump right in to piles of paper and quickly do what needs to be done, only emerging when the task is accomplished. On the contrary, motivation follows action instead of the other way around. When we make ourselves face the task ahead of us, it usually isn't as bad as we think, and we begin to feel good about the progress we start making.
Work comes first, and then comes the positive frame of mind.Closely allied to this misunderstanding about motivation is the idea that things should be easy. Depressed people assume that people who are good at work skills always feel confident and easily attain their goals; because they themselves donít feel this way, they assume that they will never be successful.
But again, most people who are really successful assume that there are going to be hard times, frustrations, and setbacks along the way. Knowing this in advance, they don't get thrown for a loop and assume that they're at fault whenever there's a setback.Procrastinating only adds to the feeling of guilt and inadequacy that most depressives experience all the time. Taking a hard look at your work habits can have a powerful effect on your self-esteem.
> I am quite sure now that I have some sort of mental disorder. I cannot complete any single task since I was a little kid. Not only that, procrastination is extreme with me at times. I am easily distracted. I have only been diagnosed w/anxiety disorder, OCD symptoms and dysthymia (depression). I am 20yrs old, I have problems completing tasks eventhough everybody considers me intelligent.
Posted by Ann NY on May 13, 2001, at 11:28:24
In reply to plz help me out. problem completing tasks procra, posted by Dubya on May 4, 2001, at 0:33:38
I hear you. I'm riduculously over educated but I know I'm an under-achiever. Same thing about needing to respect the professor. Also, if I don't get an A on my first exam I'm lost, why try if I already ruined my chance at a 4.0
For me, the main problem was major depression. My anti-depressant is helping me know. I've also been on ritalin for a short time. It helps alot, but you still have to decide to sit down and stay at your desk. For me ritalin was a great short term fix until I got my depression under control. Depression has a lot of ADD symptoms, inability to concentrate, reduced memory, some anxiety.
I'm reading a great book, its not a quick fix, but it is really good: "Procratination" by J.B. Burka and L.M. Yuen, Preseus Books (1983).
I'm pretty sure that it is UC-Berkely (the student health center/mental health center) that has a good "quick fix" 10 step guide posted that I liked too. (or maybe SUNY-Buffalo, it's one or the other.)
Best of luck!
> I am quite sure now that I have some sort of mental disorder. I cannot complete any single task since I was a little kid. Not only that, procrastination is extreme with me at times. I am easily distracted. I have only been diagnosed w/anxiety disorder, OCD symptoms and dysthymia (depression). I am 20yrs old, I have problems completing tasks eventhough everybody considers me intelligent. Because of that, I get 60% or so in my classes or whatever if I am not motivated by the instructor. I am often hyperactive at 8am (without coffee or chocolate) for someone who sleeps less than 8hrs. Caffeine seems to calm me down and it also helps me to sleep.
>
> Could I have an undiagnosed disorder such as ADHD?
This is the end of the thread.
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