Psycho-Babble Social Thread 7208

Shown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

How do you interview your shrink!!?

Posted by kid_A on July 8, 2001, at 18:12:33


The biggest problem I have had w/ talk therapy is feeling like my therapist was a flake or had some belief system that was not within my mindframe or whathaveyou...

How do you find the right one; trial and error? Thats how everyone I know has done it... I mean is it unnatural for you to ask the therapist to tell you a bit about *themselves* ...?

Anyone here 'dump' there therapist because they just didnt 'get it'...?

 

anarchists shrinkbook » kid_A

Posted by geekUK on July 8, 2001, at 20:05:13

In reply to How do you interview your shrink!!?, posted by kid_A on July 8, 2001, at 18:12:33

I constantly battle my docs (or used to)
best way is to pose philosophical qns I find.
as at the time I was existential(but hadnt rad sartre...yet), so resoning allong these lines gave insight into how he dealt with these problems and if he 'got it'. this may not suit you.(this method got info on when therapist was my age and in therapy, also he said for me to watch 'good will hunting' ref- doc vs boy. much as I liked the guys effort, and if hes out there, you did your best, but he didnt get it, or maybe I didnt.)
One thing I still use is reference obscurely, use words that are off the beaten tract. Miasma, for discribing myself. gives you an intelect/possible intrests (is in 2 of my most read books)
humour, try to shock by laying your humour as bare as your feelings. If they find it funny nah... if they get it -they may have some level of understanding
using these tools you may be able to pick little elements out of there peronality/beleifs and see if there is a 'jelling'. if so maybe you might be able to stomach the sacharine solution.
but this, I now realise is what I do often anyway to everyone, so it might not be so easy to work this into converseation
well I'd love to stay and chew the fat,
but some ones listening in (Kid Amnesiac?)

 

Re: anarchists shrinkbook » geekUK

Posted by kid_A on July 8, 2001, at 20:20:01

In reply to anarchists shrinkbook » kid_A, posted by geekUK on July 8, 2001, at 20:05:13


> well I'd love to stay and chew the fat,
> but some ones listening in (Kid Amnesiac?)

once again, packed like frozen food and battery hens

 

Re: How do you interview your shrink!!?

Posted by AMenz on July 8, 2001, at 22:33:14

In reply to How do you interview your shrink!!?, posted by kid_A on July 8, 2001, at 18:12:33

Yes severak in a 25 year period. The last one thought the key to mental health was in dressing well. I kid you not!!!
>
> The biggest problem I have had w/ talk therapy is feeling like my therapist was a flake or had some belief system that was not within my mindframe or whathaveyou...
>
> How do you find the right one; trial and error? Thats how everyone I know has done it... I mean is it unnatural for you to ask the therapist to tell you a bit about *themselves* ...?
>
> Anyone here 'dump' there therapist because they just didnt 'get it'...?

 

Re: How do you interview your shrink!!? ISTINCT!

Posted by Anna Laura on July 9, 2001, at 9:43:28

In reply to How do you interview your shrink!!?, posted by kid_A on July 8, 2001, at 18:12:33

>
> The biggest problem I have had w/ talk therapy is feeling like my therapist was a flake or had some belief system that was not within my mindframe or whathaveyou...
>
> How do you find the right one; trial and error? Thats how everyone I know has done it... I mean is it unnatural for you to ask the therapist to tell you a bit about *themselves* ...?
>
> Anyone here 'dump' there therapist because they just didnt 'get it'...?


Hi Kid,


I did dump a lots of therapists for many reasons: i.e. if "they didn't get it "(i think it depends on both intelligence and sensitiveness).
Another reason was competion:as soon as they realize i know a lot about psychology, they start to feel uneasy and get competitive with me, trying to say bad things about me indirectly, mainly giving me psychological "interpretations" full of contempt/hate. One therapist last year actually STOLD my insights! He told his counselor, the therapist "above" him that he was maturing since he was having deep insights: the superior was very happy with him ; it's a nice thing, but, for Christ's sake, those insights were mine!!!! I know it sounds incredible but that's the bare truth.
The last time i saw him he told me: "you gotta realize you're very very fragile" (the last thing i wanted to hear, made me paranoid, i started thinking i couldn't control any part of my life whatsoever).
Then he added: "i realize i can't do anything for you, so i'll redirect you to another guy: he's very very good with desperate clinical cases like yours: he cured people with dementia, schizophrenia, etc..." (Thank you again!!!! Now i feel better!!!).
Needless to say, i walked away from his office never to return. Another time he got envious because i quoted a phrase in latin. He told me : "It should be nice to know that language, you're very fortunate 'cause you had the opportunity to study it" His eyes were full of hatred and envy while he was saying this: he was trying to disguise it with a smile.
Well, i'm sick and tired of this s***.
The next time i'll be listening to my istinct: it rarely fails to detect the right person for me.
My last mistake was with a psychopharmacologist: the guy answered the phone and held conversations while i was there : he knew i drove almost 200 miles to get there, but that was unimportant for him i guess.
When i noticed he was prescribing me he same, old TCA, just slightly different from the one i was taking, i asked him why i couldn't try MAOI or psychostimulants/dopaminergic drugs. His answer was: since you didn't get a full response on TCA, the you're not supposed to have any success in any other drug.
He added i could call him just on Tuesday at five pm.....so i waited and waited until the following Tuesday: i was expecting him to ask me a few question about the effects of the meds i was on: nothing of the sort. He just told me to call him back at six p.m. 'cause he was busy at the time. I waited patiently until six. When i called him back he had a loathing, paternalistic voice (it sounded like he thought i was retarded). He told me: "Add one tablet, do you understand? You have to add another tablet of ***** in the morning" "I'm not stupid Doctor, i understand!" i replied.
"It's very very important that you add that pill because this is no picnic, it's a very serious thing, understand?" He added. He told me to call him back in about two weeks.
This time he was totally different: i told him i hadn't any positive results; he got kind of angry and told me: "You're supposed to react! You have to go out instead of staying on the computer all the day through!!!"
"But this is my job also!"
"I don't care! Do something else! I'd be much happier to hear you're a life guard "
I hung up never to call him again.
You now what? I never trusted this guy: as soon as i got in his office ,looked at his face, heard his voice (a voice can tell you a lot of things by istinct), i knew that he wasn't fit to
satisfy my needs.

 

Re: How do you interview your shrink!!? ISTINCT!

Posted by Lorraine on July 9, 2001, at 12:55:39

In reply to Re: How do you interview your shrink!!? ISTINCT!, posted by Anna Laura on July 9, 2001, at 9:43:28

I won't see a doctor without a strong recommendation from someone I know and trust. Maybe we could start a list of personal recommendations for different geographic areas.

 

Re: anarchists shrinkbook

Posted by geekUK on July 9, 2001, at 17:03:09

In reply to Re: anarchists shrinkbook » geekUK, posted by kid_A on July 8, 2001, at 20:20:01

>
> > well I'd love to stay and chew the fat,
> > but some ones listening in (Kid Amnesiac?)
>
> once again, packed like frozen food and battery hens

Thats referencing 4 U!! most exiting albums of recent times...geekovision.
also note sacharine solution oposed to sugar (not R related), another reference (probably bit to unreadable mind)

 

Re: How do you interview your shrink!!? ISTINCT!

Posted by susan C on July 9, 2001, at 18:06:54

In reply to Re: How do you interview your shrink!!? ISTINCT!, posted by Lorraine on July 9, 2001, at 12:55:39

>I agree! after 12yr and him basically saying 'you don't need a second opinion' and suggesting the same thing over again, and I knew he wasn't listening to me, I started seeing a pdoc 1.5 hr away, referred by a friend who got results. the town I live in is small enough all the pdocs are in one of two addresses! When I started talking to NAMI group leaders I discovered more horror stories and that the only pdoc worth seeing in town took 4 month to see. http://www.healthgrades.com/ is a doc evaluation site. It is a very interesting site. My pdoc had an evaluation so I added mine. Both were very negative.

I won't see a doctor without a strong recommendation from someone I know and trust. Maybe we could start a list of personal recommendations for different geographic areas.

 

Re: How do you interview your shrink!!?

Posted by judy1 on July 9, 2001, at 20:36:12

In reply to How do you interview your shrink!!?, posted by kid_A on July 8, 2001, at 18:12:33

I've lost count on how many shrinks and psychologists I've been through; but I just'know' in the first 5 minutes if it's going to work. My therp said that people with a history of abuse are unusually sensitive to whether they will be 'safe' with a doc- a very critical feeling for me in determining if the therapeutic relationship will be successful. I think most people can feel empathy and compassion from another person- just try to tune into that and you'll know. I also happen to think it's a rare quality in psychiatrists and perhaps less rare in psychologists. Good luck- judy

 

Re: How do you interview your shrink!!?

Posted by AKC on July 9, 2001, at 21:03:42

In reply to Re: How do you interview your shrink!!?, posted by judy1 on July 9, 2001, at 20:36:12

Everyone deserves the best shrink and therapist. I don't know quite how I have ended up with the team I have, but I feel I currently have the best shrink and therapist for me. I've shared this story about my pdoc before on this page or psycho-babble. I had moved to KC two years ago, was having a melt-down, my therapist was out-of-town, and her stand-in was insistent that I get in with someone. The first office she had me call was of no help (like getting me in in a few days, when I needed to be seen ASAP). She gave me the name of my current pdoc, who could not see me the next day, but who hooked me up with a pyschiatric nurse practioner who could. That next evening, that pdoc personnally called to make sure I had been seen - even though I was not her patient. I knew then I wanted to be her patient. I ended up in the hospital a couple of weeks later - and was seen by three different doctors over the three days I was there. Someone, I think judy1, posted that you can sense when there is a fit - I knew none of these doctors fit - first, they were all guys - and I knew I would better work with a woman (nothing against guys in general, just a preference, being a woman and all). So I called my pdoc and asked her to take me on and she agreed (boy, if she had only known - but I do pay my bills on time!) Anyway, while my pdoc came recommended, in so many ways, I lucked into finding her.

As far as my therapist goes, my old therapist in my previous city hooked me up. I thought my old therapist was pretty good - until I hooked up with my new one. I have a pretty big problem with trust. And I have begun, after two years of pretty big stuff to start to trust this person.

In both of these situations, recommendations were at the root. In both of these situations there was a sense I had early on that it was a pretty good fit. And in both of these situations, it has taken about two years for me to develop a trust that I'm in the right place. I had more "run-ins" with my pdoc than with my therapist, but I think that has to do with the fact that we don't see each other as often - but amazingly so, she has at times actually apologized for being wrong - something I didn't believe (wrongly) any doctor was very capable of.

I know now that I will be on meds the rest of my life. My pdoc is in her early to mid 50s (I'm 36) - I try not to think that she will retire someday. I'll be in therapy a long time to - with my therapist in her early 50s (same worry). I am just grabbing on and running with it for my life right now. If I could, I would grab on for everyone. I get so mad when I hear or read about different horror stories. I take it way too personally. But it gets back to my first line of this post - everyone, and I truly believe this, everyone deserves the best - life just deals too many of us - especially us who post here - shitty hands sometimes. Those of you who have not yet found the right shrink or the right therapist - keep looking - if I got lucky, so can you.

 

Re: GeekUK yer got me email ???? » geekUK

Posted by dreamer on July 9, 2001, at 22:07:31

In reply to Re: anarchists shrinkbook, posted by geekUK on July 9, 2001, at 17:03:09

> >
> > > well I'd love to stay and chew the fat,
> > > but some ones listening in (Kid Amnesiac?)
> >
> > once again, packed like frozen food and battery hens
>
> Thats referencing 4 U!! most exiting albums of recent times...geekovision.
> also note sacharine solution oposed to sugar (not R related), another reference (probably bit to unreadable mind)

Think I've lost the plot but this meaning yer off?
Lack of sleep and reality's doing gymnastics.
Keep in touch let me know if yer need me email think it's somewhere cobwebbed in last months archives?? If not I'll slap it out again off now to try and conquour the world , travelling light in a astral delight.

 

yer got me email - think so, havnt tryed it (NP) » dreamer

Posted by geekUK on July 10, 2001, at 20:47:24

In reply to Re: GeekUK yer got me email ???? » geekUK, posted by dreamer on July 9, 2001, at 22:07:31

pe'kachu taking over from previos ruler giggy-puff

 

Re: How do you interview your shrink!!?

Posted by Emme on July 14, 2001, at 16:20:32

In reply to How do you interview your shrink!!?, posted by kid_A on July 8, 2001, at 18:12:33


I think getting recommendations is the best starting point. When I moved and needed to find a new therapist, I got recommendations. Then I asked a few questions on the phone about their
background and training, what kinds of patients they've handled (i.e. If they'd treated people like me.) Their orientation - I think it's good if they don't adhere rigidly to one school
of thought but use whatever approach helps the individual. Mostly though, I just needed to get a gut feeling about if they sounded flaky or down-to-earth. I weeded a couple of them quickly
by phone and have stayed with the one with whom I made an appt.

That said, with both of the wonderful therapists I've had, we did not settle in instantly. I knew from the start that they were competent and diligent and caring and had a sense of humor. But
like most human relationships, it took a little time for us to get used to each other's styles, talk through an occasional miscoummunication (I thought she just didn't "get it",but she really did), and to build the trust you need to do the hard work.
But if you've tried a few sessions and your gut instincts say it's not the right match, then keep looking! The right one is out there.

As for my psychiatrist, she is an example of everything one looks for in a good pdoc.
- knowledgable and up to date on the research
- respectful of me, makes me feel that my treatment is a team effort.
- listens to and takes my concerns seriously, even if there's no easy answer. Always willing to
answer questions.
- Compassionate. Tries to be encouraging.
- Attentive, returns calls.
- Seems to make decisions based on as much information as she can get
- Respects and talks to my therapist from time to time, especially when the going's tough. (Having a working team of a pdoc and therapist is good.)

Excellent doctors are out there too. I think you can figure out a lot from the first time or two that you meet them.


> The biggest problem I have had w/ talk therapy is feeling like my therapist was a flake or had some belief system that was not within my mindframe or whathaveyou...
>
> How do you find the right one; trial and error? Thats how everyone I know has done it... I mean is it unnatural for you to ask the therapist to tell you a bit about *themselves* ...?
>
> Anyone here 'dump' there therapist because they just didnt 'get it'...?

 

Re: anarchists shrinkbook

Posted by MB on July 16, 2001, at 13:26:01

In reply to anarchists shrinkbook » kid_A, posted by geekUK on July 8, 2001, at 20:05:13


> One thing I still use is reference obscurely, use words that are off the beaten tract. Miasma, for discribing myself. gives you an intelect/possible intrests (is in 2 of my most read books)

WSB used the word miasma a lot. I liked him.



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